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Child with d and v bug

28 replies

Joerev · 13/11/2019 11:03

I’m having chemotherapy. I also suffer with something called Addison’s disease. A sickness bug can kill me within 24 hrs. I’ve got my mask on. I’ve got my gloves on. I’m away from said child (which I hate by the way). But AIBU to ask people whose kids are sick to stay home!!!!

If I get this. Not know I’ve picked this up. I could spread all around the hospital. Fortunately I don’t have to go till next week. Though if I get sick I’ll be in there quicker in isolation or ICU. Hopefully manage to stay away from resus.....

Why?!? Why do people do it

What do you do to keep a sickness bug from not spreading? My mother in law has countless times had my kids thrown up on her from sickness bugs. And never ever caught it. How does this happen?

I realise my immune system is Down right now. It just makes me so sad to think of how unwell It can make others.

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Sunnysidegold · 13/11/2019 11:12

I get you OP. my husband has a suppressed immune system and bugs like this can have serious consequences. I'm a teacher and the amount of parents who disregard the 48hr rule and send their child in sick baffles me. I understand that childcare for sick children can be tricky, and not everyone is in the position to take a day off. When I was on supply a day off meant no pay, but I still made sure my child wasn't in school until he was supposed to be.

Proper handwashing would help but I fear not everyone does this. Hope you don't get a big op.

Sunnysidegold · 13/11/2019 11:13

Sorry, hope you don't get a bugOP. no one wants a big op!

Joerev · 13/11/2019 11:22

@sunnysidegold. Hahaha. Thank you. I hope I don’t have to have an op

Been washing my hands under water as hot as I can bare it. Dr told me it should be 60 degrees! However. That’s a little hot to run it on that

I understand the work etc. I really do. I was self employed for 20 years. But if someone had told me. You could risk someone dying if you come in sick. Your friend Jane is on chemotherapy. Etc. Then I would of not gone in!

I just don’t think people realise the consequences of it. They probably think it’s ok if a few other kids get it. But they don’t realise that like me. Their mother could be having chemo. Have literally no immune system and end up dead.

Right now. I’ve got no immune system. It’s the worst time she could of brought it home.

Just hoping it doesn’t spread. Got my antibac on the go! Bed clothes in the wash. Toilets scrubbed. Handles scrubbed. iPads and phones scrubbed. And bags. Drs told me these are the things we miss. Phones and bags. They carry germs.

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TurningLeaves · 13/11/2019 11:26

Sorry to hear this OP.

I've just got some of this after reading that most hand sanitizers and alcohol gels don't kill norovirus. It's pretty cheap on amazon, next day delivery.

EcoHydra Alcohol Free Antibacterial Foam Instant Hand Sanitiser 50 ml

LolaDabestest · 13/11/2019 11:29

Some people just have no sense and no consideration for others in other words selfish fuckers. Hope you don't get it! Why do you hate the child? Out of intrest😬

Joerev · 13/11/2019 11:31

Hahahah. I don’t hate the child. I hate being away from her. I’m not even in the same house right now!!

Oh my gosh. That’s funny. @LolaDabestest

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Joerev · 13/11/2019 11:32

@TurningLeaves. Yes. The drs tells me that. About handgels. He also tells me a bar of soap is better than liquid soap too....not sure why though

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Passthecherrycoke · 13/11/2019 11:32

Thing is, people going out with a known stomach bug is one way it spreads but not the only way. Bugs are spread innocently but these threads do seem to indicate there is a general feeling if everyone obeyed the 48 hour rule no one would get sick. Obviously that’s not the case.

I mean it’s awful, your whole situation is just awful, I can’t begin to imagine.

But the bug could well have been passed over totally innocently, they can’t be controlled.

Andysbestadventure · 13/11/2019 11:34

It's your responsibility to avoid it, not theirs to stop you from catching it. Sorry op. Also most people have no idea they have a bug until it's too late so the contagious period can be hours/days before they're even symptomatic.

hungryhippie · 13/11/2019 11:35

My son is immunosuppressed and a parent of a kid in his class brought him in with a temperature. Luckily my sons teacher told me before he went in school, so I took him home.
Said kid vomited over 3 of his friends in assembly...

Robs20 · 13/11/2019 11:38

Really hope you don’t catch it. Hand washing and lots of sanitiser.
People really don’t think about her their germs might affect others and how a minor illness (cold, flu, d&v bug) can be v serious. Dd1 was immunosuppressed and died from a virus that one of our selfish friends brought into our home. Really hope your daughter is better soon!

Joerev · 13/11/2019 11:43


It’s my responsibility to not catch it? What a load of crock!!!! It’s totally down to people to responsibly stop the spread of infection

I’m not talking about people who don’t know. And spreading infection that way as @Passthecherrycoke says. But the people whose kids have been sick and send them in the next day. Or if kids have a fever and mum doses then up with Calpol and sends them in

I do everything in my power to advise it. You know that right? Someone on chemotherapy is taught how to possibly avoid it. I have masks. I have gloves. I have surgical grade stuff.

I’ve even thought about home schooling my kids. I’m that poorly.

I also have an agreement with both my kids school in that if more than 2 people are off in their year. I am legally and without accusations. Allowed to keep my kids at home. No problem. We don’t get fined etc.

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Joerev · 13/11/2019 11:47


Oh my god. I can’t believe what you wrote. I am so so so very sorry for your loss. I don’t have any words. If you ever want to chat. I’m here. Although we might not know each other. I will always talk to you.

I send my deepest regards to you and your family.

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TheTrollFairy · 13/11/2019 11:50

I get it. It’s shit!
When DP was in hospital D&V went round multiple times. He didn’t catch it because he kept on top of hand washing, wiping himself down after checks etc. The nurses however, did the checks on the sick patients first and didn’t clean the equipment between use. The patients who caught it were bed bound and unable to clean themselves Angry

I read the 48 hour rule is a load of crap as the germs stay alive for much longer especially if good hygiene is not practiced.
My DD got a sickness bug once, she threw up at nursery. We didn’t have any prior warning that she was going to be sick. No temperature, eating properly, wasn’t fussy so sometimes it’s unavoidable with kids.

I agree though, people do need to start thinking about others. I do get that childcare can be an issue but surely emergency leave is there for that exact thing? To take time off for dependants

HouseSchmurchase · 13/11/2019 11:59

Some kids at my dd's school who are sent in with bugs and high temps seem to have doctors as parents. Having said that, you can pick up bugs anywhere. Supermarket trolleys are a big spreader. Door handles...coins...

TheOrigFV45 · 13/11/2019 12:02

so the contagious period can be hours/days before they're even symptomatic.

Not if it's a D&V bug which is spread by direct contact with the D or the V containing the bug.

Allthecake89 · 13/11/2019 12:11

I totally agree. It seems like the whole rules of 48 hours are not long enough and a child should probably be home a little longer. I expect plenty of parents keep them off for less time if they can get away with it due to attendance levels and targets. 95% at my daughter's school. It annoys me so much how illness is not allowed and if you are ill for more than 10 days a year you are punished. My DD takes 3-4 days to get over a stomach bug. She just can't stomach dairy or anything for days.

When you think once vomiting is done it's down to good hygiene to protect against it spreading it shouldn't surely spread as easily as it does.

I wish they would find a cure for it. If my DD gets it I often follow 2 days later followed by my partner. It makes me so anxious as nobody would help me out whilst I am throwing up. So far luckily it's always happened in the night and I can function the following day or my partner stays home.

People are selfish, rules are ridiculous, attendance policies are not always realistic and no matter what advice is given people either don't follow it or the guidelines don't cover it..
In an ideal world a child should have the rest of the week of with a stomach bug to ensure they are over the worst part of being constagious. But in a world of working mums the kids have to come second if mummy has to go to work. Not judging but that's the reality of today. Some of my working friends send their kids into school with awful colds and stuff because they can't miss work.

As for one of my friends she is the worst. She is terrified of vomit. Yet her DD had norovirus the day before Halloween and let her go trick or treating. Her kid apparently kept crying and didn't really want to go far. I felt like saying because she should of been resting and now she's had her germy hands in everyone's sweet bowls. Poor kid. Her mum's one of those people who has to do everything and can't just accept sometimes you have to miss out. If she was my child if of got her some treats when she felt better to make up for it

Really hope you don't get poorly. Sorry for my rant. I hate this time of the year x

Passthecherrycoke · 13/11/2019 12:13

The thing I always think though is that adults don’t take 48 hours off work after their last vomit. So all the teachers, dinner ladies, teaching assistants etc... as well as parents, will be back at work as soon as they are physically able

Cornishbumpkin · 13/11/2019 12:14

Hi @Joerev I don't want this to sound patronising but there is a step to step guide you can find online on how and when to wash your hands properly to get all areas (it's the first thing they teach at nursing school lol). Unfortunately sanitizer gel does not kill norovirus which is the big nasty D&V bug. I don't think you are being unreasonable at all as prevention is always better than cure. Hope your chemo is going well and you don't catch the bug!

Cornishbumpkin · 13/11/2019 12:17

Sorry one other point, if your little one isn't 48hrs symptom free by your next chemo I would give the hospital a ring as you may need to have limited contact with other patients x

crazycatbaby · 13/11/2019 12:24

Clinell wipes from amazon? The ones that do norovirus etc. You may already have some with having chemo but if not they're good for door handles, switches, phones etc and skin safe too xx

Joerev · 13/11/2019 13:23

@Cornishbumpkin. Totally agree. Yes. Think I will phone them. But she’s feeling better already. So the light might be through the tunnel

Also. You’re exactly right. My doctor told me the gels don’t work. You must wash your hands under the hottest water you can bare and use a bar of soap. Not liquid soap and don’t use the gel

You didn’t sound patronising to me at all. I appreciate your thoughts. Thank you!

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Joerev · 13/11/2019 13:24

@crazycatbaby. yes. We have those! My friend is a bacteriologist. She says the best spray for cleaning is the cheap Tesco one? Has the right chemical. Which I can’t remember now. We have the wipes. Plus the hand gel. Although I know it’s not effective on it on. Thank you

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Joerev · 13/11/2019 13:25


I agree with you 100% on the adults!! People can’t afford to not work. I get it.

It’s just they don’t realise the consequence. As to the above poster and his child 😢

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Joerev · 13/11/2019 13:29

@Allthecake89. I also agree with attendance

My mother is a strong advocate for keeping your kids off if they are sick. I am too! I of course will now keep my one off till next week. I don’t give a toss about it. But then I do have an agreement with the school. I don’t know what I’d do without. I’m really lucky in that both of the schools are good

They also seen my letters. Which helps I think

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