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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

'I know you're on your lunch but...'

110 replies

lostelephant · 12/11/2019 13:35

I must hear this everyday in the office either said to myself or a co-worker and it annoys the hell out of me!

I dont mind so much when somebody comes over to my desk, goes to ask a question but then realises I'm on lunch and offers to come back later, but it's the people who acknowledge you are not working and still expect you to do something for them or answer their questions (which could definitely have waited half an hour!!)

Anyone else or AIBU?

OP posts:
nethunsinthatway · 12/11/2019 17:34

@Wingedharpy love the idea of erecting a tent over ones desk to eat lunch. “Piss of I’m in my food tent”

BlueJava · 12/11/2019 17:36

YABU if you don't want to be interupted then leave your desk and go our or to a canteen area if you have one. Happens all the time at our office but doesn't bother me.

ArsenicGreen · 12/11/2019 17:40

One person I work with is incredibly rude if anyone tries to speak to her when she is on her lunch and yet she regularly comes into our staff room to speak to other staff members on their lunch. She can’t see why it pisses people off.

Takeitonthechin · 12/11/2019 17:52

Leave the office, they can't bother you then hopefully OP

Pericombobulations · 12/11/2019 17:58

There is a reason I took to going home for my lunch hour, and that was getting accosted too many times with a "I was just going to email you". So now, Im off site and dont get this. Miss having a laugh with colleagues but it is saving my sanity.

SimonJT · 12/11/2019 18:00

We don’t have a canteen so people either go out or eat at their desks. I eat at my desk on a Wednesday and go out the other days. I turn my computer off, put my headphones on and generally ignore everyone while I’m on lunch. If someone tries to talk to me I just tap my headphones to let them know I can’t hear them.

PositiveVibez · 12/11/2019 18:06

Nhs worker here impressed you can eat...getting time to go to the toilet is hard sometimes

You win 🙄

BeThere · 12/11/2019 18:09

YANBU. And also...
I know you're just about to leave but
I know you're really busy but
I know I've asked you a million things today but
I know you're down a staff member but
I know you said your team can't take on any new projects right now but

Fuck off! But...

ForalltheSaints · 12/11/2019 18:13

I notice that the few people who do this to me are the worst for time management and meeting deadlines.

MitziK · 12/11/2019 18:14

Phone goes...

'Do you know where Marjorie is?'

'She's on lunch, so out' lying because I know full well where she goes, as she told me about the same place so I could avoid being summoned from the Staff Lunch Room after 10-13 minutes every fucking time I took my break

'Oh, that doesn't matter. This is important'.

I dash off to find Marjorie to give her a heads up to keep out of the way. Too late. Her personal mobile number has been accessed from the supposedly private personnel database (not by a member of HR,, either) and she's been called/told she must come back straight away because it's an emergency.

It's already been sorted by the time I get back to my desk. It wasn't important, it wasn't urgent, it wasn't even something she has responsibility for. She didn't need to be called, she didn't need to be ordered back.

Cherrysoup · 12/11/2019 18:29

@MitziK surely a GDPR breach? I’d be blooming fuming if someone randomly accessed my private number! That’s strictly on a need to know/emergency basis.

MitziK · 12/11/2019 18:37

Everything this person wants is a fucking emergency, apparently.

I've already pointed out that the entire staff cohort have no need to be able to access our national insurance numbers, next of kin contact details, religion, health information, home addresses, telephone numbers or anything else displayed on the first screen you go to when looking for legitimate information.

Sadly, I've just had to order a new phone due to dropping the existing one. Coincidentally, I've managed to get myself a new number with the expected replacement phone. Inconceivably conveniently, I don't know what it is, so I won't be in a position to give it to that person until it's literally forced out of me on threat of dismissal.

Rachel438 · 12/11/2019 18:40

I say suck it up or leave your desk and eat somewhere else. YABU

scarbados · 12/11/2019 19:00

I worked in a residential children's unit for a couple of years and there was nowhere to go for lunch so I stayed in my office. After the first few weeks of being interupted with 'I know you're on your break but when you've finished ...' I set out a warning that I'd start counting the 30 minutes again after each interruption. Yes, even if I'd already had 25 minutes - the 30 minutes would start again until I had an undisturbed half hour break. It took 2 days to train the care staff.

scoobyd2 · 12/11/2019 19:04

One of the (many) reasons I love being a home-based worker. Close down my work connection, switch the mobile to silent, place it screen-side down on the desk so I can't even glimpse any notifications out of the corner of my eye, and spend a blissful quiet 30 minutes with my feet up on the sofa.
But I did used to get fed up with the "really sorry I can see you're eating, but could you just...." in an office where there was no escape, other than the pavement outside. Although I did get better at smiling sweetly at the same time as fixing the intruder with a cold stare, and saying "come back and ask me at 1 o clock". It worked - occasionally.

ThatMuppetShow · 12/11/2019 20:58

Greenwingmemories
back in the real world, no one can be arsed to find out if you are having a snack or on your "lunch break" - and people are in the office to work. It's absolutely ridiculous and makes you look very silly to try to be superior with a "I am here, but pretend I am not". You are not a child.

Why can't you send an email in the first place then people can reply when it's convenient to them?
Are you for real? Because sometimes it's not about being "convenient for them" it's about needing something. People get very pissed off i you keep sending them emails when a quick word would be enough.

You want to go out for lunch, go. It's strongly advised for people to leave their desk and get a bit of fresh air anyway. You want to be in the office but without doing anything, it won't work.

Ohffs66 · 12/11/2019 21:07

My personal favourite is "I couldn't Skype you as you've set your status to Do Not Disturb so I had to come and find you instead. Are you busy?"

Me (removes ear buds slowly, makes them repeat it, gives Paddington hard stare) "obviously, that's why I have my status on Do Not Disturb, and also why I'm wearing earphones. I'm busy and I'm trying to concentrate"

Person: "oh well it'll only take 5 minutes, now I'm here what I wanted was....."

AARGH

Likethebattle · 13/11/2019 07:38

We have no break room just a tiny kitchen so the only place to eat is at my desk. I don’t drive to work and use public transport, I bring on my lunch to save money....I’m not traipsing outside just so I can be incommunicado, my lunch is 1-2 and it’s sacred.

Summerlovin24 · 13/11/2019 19:06

What lunch? Too busy a lot of the time as I need to get the work done. If I am not snowed under I will go into town and run a few errands

adaline · 13/11/2019 19:16

I hate this. I'm often the only manager and cannot leave the premises during my shift so need to each my lunch on site. I often get people knocking on the (closed on purpose) door to ask me things.

I add the time on to my break on purpose. Someone did complain on purpose but my response was "well, if you didn't keep disturbing me, I'd be ready to come back in half an hour!"

SerenDippitty · 13/11/2019 19:20

It does seem to be increasingly frowned upon to take a proper lunch break. Where I used to work they did away with core hours (when you had to be in the building, 10-12 and 2-4) in the name of greater flexibility, but then people no longer felt able to take long lunch breaks knowing they’d make it up later. It was frowned upon to spend more than about 20 minutes away from your desk at lunchtime.

ForalltheSaints · 13/11/2019 19:43

MitziK I think anyone who is misusing the word emergency could be alleged to be failing basic Health and Safety responsibilities, or perhaps HR should be made aware of this so they can tackle their mental health issues.

Likethebattle · 13/11/2019 19:48

I once went to my desk to
Go online I was still
On lunch and a colleague came over and said ‘quick question?’ I said ‘sorry I’m on lunch right now!’ It was as if I hadn’t spoke as he launched into a question he could easily resolve himself. There was also a (useless) team leader, 2 assistant team leaders and at least 8 other team members he could ask. He was terrible in general and I usually ended up doing his job as well as my job and being shattered, the stuff he asked for constant help with was the easy stuff.

MitziK · 13/11/2019 20:25

I think their anxiety benefits the employer more than anything else in terms of any demand (and where none has been made) being met straight away and, if impossible due to workload, through copious amounts of unpaid overtime out of a morbid terror that it hasn't been done yet).

They were practically hysterical at me down the phone today, claiming a dire emergency that I had to deal with in a particular way with particular equipment - and when I went to check if this equipment even existed, a lengthy trek of six foot away, they rang constantly demanding to know if I'd got the equipment yet. No, because it doesn't exist for those (non)specific circumstances. So I had to check the information (as they were too hysterical to give me more than one word). Took me 20s to look up, and as I was walking the 35 foot to the location of this dire emergency, I could still hear the phone ringing repeatedly, presumably checking whether I'd sprinted down there yet.

Got there. It wasn't an emergency. It wasn't needing any particular equipment, much less the stuff that didn't exist in the first place. It was necessary to go there, yes, but it was hardly calling an Air Ambulance, National Guard and Superman urgent. Quick chat and all sorted out, strolled back to my office.

Avoided them until the last ten minutes of the day, where I'm then shooed back to my desk (that I was already approaching - four foot away at that point) because I hadn't been sitting there waiting for a phone call nobody knew was coming - and I have to try and deal with it whilst the person is talking to somebody next to me about 'Has Mitzi made a mistake? Doesn't Mitzi know what to do? Have I told Mitzi how these things must be handled? Has Mitzi done something wrong?'. I had to pause the call and transfer it to be able to say to them five times 'It's fine. I wasn't at my desk because I was doing x part of the job - the urgent bit - first and then I was coming back to do the non urgent bit. I do know how to do it. Yes, I do. Yes, I really do. It's fine. I've got this. I'm fine.' I then fetched my coat and left the building considerably faster than the speed at which I approached the Dire Emergency earlier that day. Using the only exit that meant I wasn't walking past their door or window.

Calm evasive action is the only way to deal with it. Because, obviously, I can't tell them to get a fucking grip and a prescription for beta blockers because they're doing my head in with their shrieking. Because that would be mean and unprofessional and the fucking truth and they're on the whole, of far more use to the employer than somebody who takes their legal break entitlement. Well, until the day that they spin around so fast that they reach liftoff and spontaneous combust at ceiling light level, at any rate.

Strangely, nobody recruited for my post in the last two years has stayed more than six weeks. Can't imagine how that happened. Or why the pay magically increased to a respectable level when it came round to my interview.

Greenwingmemories · 14/11/2019 05:03

ThisMuppetShow it's very unlikely that you're 'just having a snack' at lunchtime. And no you're not there to work in your lunch break. As this thread demonstrates, not everyone can get away from their desks, and it's not up to you to tell people how they should spend their break. As you point out, they are not children, except you want to treat them like children with no autonomy. I'm sure people tend to answer you but think you're a complete arrogant arse and secretly hate you.

People also get very pissed off if you interrupt them during their break as you can see here but you are ignoring that because (you think) you're way too important. If it's not life-threatening it can wait. Exactly as a PP said about someone who got a call to come back to her desk and it proved it wasn't even an emergency, it's generally just someone who thinks their time is more important than everyone else's. It's precisely this kind of thing that makes many people hate their bosses and their jobs, this sense of entitlement and because they pay you they can treat you like shit.