Be honest, who has ever done this?

[Moomin8]

I've seen this happen soooo many times. Just why do people think it's ok? To clarify, it does not happen with good friends usually. It's usually when there's a 'party' of some kind or meal made up of either work colleagues or mums from some kind of school or hobby group.

Everyone goes out, some people know each other better than others and earlier on in the evening a sizeable number of people slink off leaving others to foot the bill. Quite often it's those who can easily afford to pay!

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever done it? Because it seems to happen quite a lot ime!

I think that's a bit different @Betty777 - you had been told in advance that you wouldn't have to pay and wouldn't otherwise have agreed to go...

I have definitely NEVER done this, and I've never had it happen but I have known CFers who would have 3 courses including steak, with copious amounts of wine, while other shave had salad and a water, and said at the end "shall we just split the bill?"

TBH I'd say something to anyone slinking off these days. And never go out with them again

The problem is that people generally seem to feel that it's rude for everyone not to split the bill but that depends on everyone being honest about what they've had and not so drunk that they forgot!

Nope. Never happened to me. Heard a few moans about, "But I only had ..." when splitting the bill is suggested.

But why would you expect someone else to subsidise money towards your food??

Never had this. And I've actually been to loads of group meals. The people I mix with are decent.

"people generally seem to feel that it's rude for everyone not to split the bil"

In my social circles, in the Uk and Germany, we always pay individually (or a couple pay for themselves jointly)
Noone ever asks to split the bill, whether at friends or work dos

I'm 63 and I've only once in my life split the bill, over 40 years ago

Maybe it's a younger generation social custom ?

I've seen people being shamed on social media about this too, ie 'you left the other day without paying for your food. Could you do a bank transfer please?' 🙈🙈

In the U.K. people tend to assume it's crass to quibble about money and many people would prefer to either not go or stump up cash for other people scroungers

Years ago I went out with a group of people, only knew one person there, they were her friends. They refused to leave a tip even though service etc had been great.

The manager actually came over to check if everything had been ok because of the no tip situation and I felt so mortified I ended up giving an extra £10 on too of the tip I’d already given. Rest of the group sat there and watched all this happen without anyone offering to cough up!

I only eat now with good friends.

Never had it happen in regards to meals, but I have a coworker who ripped me off when it came to taxis after nights out for a while when I first joined the company.

He insisted I pay the driver the amount up to my house (first stop) - which is also incidentally a few streets over from his (I didn’t find this out for a long while as he was always vague about where he lived). I was forking out £14 and him the rest to take him up the road (not even £2 sometimes!)

He was so sly about it too, even when I found out he didn’t live far from me. Always an excuse (not got cash on me - I’ll bring you it Monday!) or when we’d get to mine he’d say to the driver “her stop mate she’s got the money” and put me awkward situations. Was awful.

I wised up and stop being such a push over. I now with petty glee ensure for every work nights out I have a £5 note and £5 in pound coins just for the taxi journey home. I hand £8 to the driver with a firm “that’s my half - bye!”

@IamThatGirl, That's really bad. I think it is somehow worse than the group situation because it was very obviously intentional. I think I would have refused to share a taxi after finding that out

Has happened to me often and if I allow it, there'll be more of it! Families can be the worst in this , I've found. I've learnt not to suggest going out for a drink, snack or a meal any more. If I do, I'm expected to foot the bill, all of it. They don't suggest going out for anything and when they do they expect me to pay so I turn them down.

I've seen it happen to parents a lot when their adult children don't even offer to buy one round of drinks. I know of one who offers to pay, puts his hand in his pocket but doesn't pull them out until the parents or parents in law are "shamed" into offering to get the round. Then he pulls his hands come out of his pockets and either sits down or offers to give a hand to bring the drinks to the table. The think they've been "smart" but for the price of a drink, snack or a meal, they sold their dignity and self respect for good. You can choose your friends but not your friends so these poor parents have to put up with it and bite their tongues.

I had "friends" who did this to me and one in particular would suggest to go for a coffee. She'd order toasts or cake for herself and I'd have just the coffee but somehow she'd make sure I'd pay for it all. I was too embarrassed to tell her let's pay separately or just pay for myself and leave her to pay for herself but I felt resentful towards her for not taking it in turns at least so I excused myself every time she suggested to go for a coffee. She had the cheek to turn up at my door with a friend of her once asking me to join them for a coffee and I said I was busy and hoped they'll go away but she said could I lend her some money for their coffee because they'd left their purses at home. She said she'll pay me back. I couldn't say no because I was too shy and I knew I wouldn't see that money again. I gave her £10 just to get rid of her from my door step and for ever. After that, she'd avoid me just because of that £10 that she'd "borrowed" and didn't want to pay back. I told a friend about it and she said that wherever she goes, she only pays for herself and I could do the same. She told me I'm only responsible for my own bills and nobody else's. She told me this way I wouldn't be taken advantage of and know for sure whom are my real friends.

That's what I've been doing for years now but it's tricky to do same with some family members without causing problems. Just because you're better off than them shouldn't mean you should foot the bills every time, should it?! I wouldn't mind paying for them if only I saw them paying for me every now and again.

It was a bit of an eye opener when attending work related events in Sweden that waiting staff don't bat an eyelid about doing separate bills for everyone - even for groups of 30+.

Happened to us once. I was a student teacher, my then fiance had just started teaching. Went out for a school meal with his school, including management. We chose cheapest meal on menu and had no pudding, no drinks. Then the bill was split equally ! Over 40 years ago now but we have never forgotten !!!

Did it once by mistake. Meal out with colleagues, I had to leave early to pick up DS, said my goodbyes etc. Halfway home realised I’d forgotten to leave any money. Messages on the group WhatsApp as soon as I got home and asked if someone could cover my share, and transferred the money immediately (including tip). I know they’d have let me know anyway if I hadn’t realised.

"It's never happened to me, my friends aren't that tight to quibble over a few pence here and there when we split the bills. It always evens out anyway...."

Maybe these are the ones we're looking for @Moomin8

I recently organised a lunch for all the parents at my son's new school, we were picking them up for the weekend. Fairly expensive boarding school.

We all agreed to split the bill equally, and rounded up so as to leave a tip for the waiter - it was a fairly big party and quite a lot of work for the waiter. Some fucking chancer came along at the end and saw that the entire bill plus a small amount had been paid, so he swanned off, leaving the waiter with a tip far below what we had all intended.

Luckily, I saw the whole thing, was able to get the size of this guy and made up the tip for the waiter. Some other nice dad saw it as well and insisted on sharing the cost with me.

Gross. Who would free-ride on a waiter's tip?

I am shocked. I must lead a sheltered life , but this has never happened to me.