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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Be honest, who has ever done this?

193 replies

Moomin8 · 12/11/2019 11:36

I've seen this happen soooo many times. Just why do people think it's ok? To clarify, it does not happen with good friends usually. It's usually when there's a 'party' of some kind or meal made up of either work colleagues or mums from some kind of school or hobby group.

Everyone goes out, some people know each other better than others and earlier on in the evening a sizeable number of people slink off leaving others to foot the bill. Quite often it's those who can easily afford to pay!

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever done it? Because it seems to happen quite a lot ime!

OP posts:
justasking111 · 13/11/2019 18:16

One husband in a group we were in years ago. We would split the bill equally adding in a good tip in cash. He would then go to pay for everyone having drunk far more than anyone else, we discovered he nabbed all the tips to pay for his and partners meal. He must have been doing it for years. We got used to the doubles of spirits he glugged and the bottles he upended this behaviour broke the camels back.

FelicisNox · 13/11/2019 18:18

I've never seen anyone slink off and leave everyone to foot the bill but I have seen people in a group order bottles of wine when others are not drinking and then expected everyone to split the bill equally.

Or equally as annoying lets everyone buy a round before them so by the time it gets around to their turn everyone is drunk and has either had enough or hasn't noticed they've not put their hand in their pocket.

If you're one of those people: yes we've all noticed, no we don't like you.

Jack80 · 13/11/2019 18:25

Never done it but been out for a meal for Christmas and people forgot about having a bottle of wine. I always put in my phone how much my meal is and mostly have a soft drink so I know how much mine will come to

Huelva94 · 13/11/2019 18:25

Never, ever... Its unbelievable

MrGsFancyNewVagina · 13/11/2019 18:29

The only thing I’m worried about, on my upcoming catch up with old friends, is the fact that I’m extremely fussy about my wine. I’m putting my foot down If I get a repeat of a few years ago, where I ordered a rather pricey bottle of wine, the person beside me was really pushy about us sharing the bottle and she’d get the next one. I was a bit annoyed as I often take the left over wine home, if it’s particularly nice and enjoy it later, but thought I didn’t want to look churlish. The fucker practically poured the wine down her throat, then ordered a cheap bottle of shite when it was her turn. Never ever again. I’m like Joey with a sandwich, when it comes to nice now! Grinwine.

IrmaFayLear · 13/11/2019 18:29

By the law of averages someone on MN must be that person who has either avoided paying or has put in too little. I have yet to see anyone Out and Proud about being a bill dodger.

Nearly47 · 13/11/2019 18:30

Never happened to me either but I have a friend that when we arrange to have dinner she won't eat lunch and will order a lot of food and expect to share the bill. Confused We don't see each other often so I say nothing and it only adds a few pounds to my bill since we are a group of 4. But still if I ordered starter couple of sides, mains, dessert and coffee I wouldn't ask the person who only had a main to pay the same as me...

CaptainCautious · 13/11/2019 18:30

Never happened to me either

MaybeitsMaybelline · 13/11/2019 18:30

Never happened to me and i have worked for a large corporate for many years. Christmas parties were paid up front, socials were with people you wanted to be with, not just any old colleague. All my friends split equally despite what the others ate. We all ate starters and mains and no one ordered fillet steak or lobster. We equally shared a tip.

VK456 · 13/11/2019 18:31

Blimey - no. I wouldn’t dream of doing it and I don’t think anyone I’ve worked with or know would do it either.
One of my pet hates is splitting the bill between the group. I don’t drink and notice that some people seem to choose the most expensive options. I refuse to do it now, as I was really stung once.

MrGsFancyNewVagina · 13/11/2019 18:31

I should add, that I pay for my wine straight away, so there’s no misunderstanding later or someone doesn’t think I’m being cheeky ordering the good stuff and the group is subsidising me.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 13/11/2019 18:33

Yes I've heard of this happening.

A friend works in production and media and when out with presenters (who are worth millions) they slink off and leave the bill to people who are hardly paid anything.

MitziK · 13/11/2019 18:38

Yup. Teachers.

They get tipsy, buy expensive desserts/extra chips/snacks, order more wine, get completely ratarsed and then stagger off just before the bill comes, leaving the support staff to pay for their piss up.

I don't go to them anymore.

Mmpip · 13/11/2019 18:39

No it's never happened to me but if it did, it would only happen ONCE and I would make damn sure they would cough up........

dogcatdog · 13/11/2019 18:42

I am the organiser of our work Christmas party. We decide where we are going, I book it, collect deposits and gather menus for pre ordering.

Last year there was 14 of us, it was a set menu so everyone's was the same price. We had agreed that we would pay on our cards for our own meals. The card machine went round the table and I was last to pay. It got to me and it was a little over £20 over my meal price. A few people had left straight after paying. I paid it and then questioned it with a few of the others. Turns out a CF had ordered all her drinks to the table and added them on to the tab!

This year I have collected all money beforehand and told everyone to pay for drinks as we get them and not order to the table!

Scbchl · 13/11/2019 18:49

No it hasn't happened to me and I haven't done it.

NotaWagon · 13/11/2019 18:50

I find the opposite in Ireland. People who leave early give way too much. Same with people who get out of taxi before you!

Celestine70 · 13/11/2019 18:53

Ask them to pay before they go?

IdiotInDisguise · 13/11/2019 18:54

This is the reason I don’t go to my work team do’s.... it is always the same, three of them order a starter, a main, desert, bottles of wine which are consumed by the same three people, and then... they request to split the bill... and get offended if you don’t want to split the bill. First time I paid £35 for a vegetarian burger and half a paint of coke. Never again.

nocluewhattodoo · 13/11/2019 18:55

It happens all the time where I work, especially sad when there is a huge tab and some poor sod is left paying off far more than their fair share.

IdiotInDisguise · 13/11/2019 18:57

Now, about the ask them to pay before you go... I know a woman who does that... organised the visit to the restaurant, asks people to pay in advance, but once in the restaurant orders plenty of extras and drinks for everyone to share. When it comes to split the cost of the “extras” she is nowhere to be seen.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 13/11/2019 19:13

Im a teacher and we usually go out all together, with TA's and admin for an xmas meal - there are ALWAYS a few who slink off leaving exactly the amoount for their meal, nothing for wine, no tip - really annoying, it's usually the very young teachers who want to go clubbing - I think they still have their Uni hats on.

Toomuchtrouble4me · 13/11/2019 19:18

This is the reason I don’t go to my work team do’s.... it is always the same, three of them order a starter, a main, desert, bottles of wine which are consumed by the same three people, and then... they request to split the bill... and get offended if you don’t want to split the bill. First time I paid £35 for a vegetarian burger and half a paint of coke. Never again.

That is different and wouldn't bother me, I think with large groups its just easier to split the bill equally - my friends and I always do that, it works well. I wouldn't worry about who had coke and who had wine and who had a starter and who didn't.

Its the ones that leave early from a group of 20, but after all food and drink consumed, but don't leave a 20th of the bill that bug me.

nzborn · 13/11/2019 19:25

My son visiting a friend in London based in (Amsterdam )went out for dinner there were about 20 of them in total who he had never meet before.
At the end of the evening when everyone else had gone the waitress made them pay the service charge for the entire group.
There are many ways of ending up having to pay for others.

Antigon · 13/11/2019 19:31

It hasn't happened to me specifically, I just hear a lot that it happens to other people.

OP, your op is very misleading, because you say:

I've seen this happen soooo many times. Just why do people think it's ok? To clarify, it does not happen with good friends usually. It's usually when there's a 'party' of some kind or meal made up of either work colleagues or mums from some kind of school or hobby

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever done it? Because it seems to happen quite a lot ime!

So you haven’t actually had any experience of this happening? Why then post as if you have?

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