to think there are nicer ways of saying you don't like it?

[JammyGem]

Tried a new risotto recipe tonight. I cooked a risotto for the first time a couple weeks ago and it was really nice, DH was also impressed as it's not something we'd normally eat. Spent a long time tonight prepping dinner, and OK, it wasn't as nice a recipe as before but it wasn't THAT bad.

DH pulls a face as soon as it's served. Doesn't even try it, just keeps stirring it with his fork. I said it's not as nice as before but it'll do. Then once he eats the tiniest bit he starts muttering in his mother tongue that it's disgusting.

I'm just really pissed off. It was a new recipe that didn't work out, but it really wasn't that bad at all. I spent ages in the kitchen making it while he was supposed to be looking after DD and doing bedtime, but I kept having to come in to do bits for her and to hurry him along as he was just sat in front of the TV. Even with my constant reminders, she ended up going to bed an hour later than usual. And now he's complaining about the dinner.

I just feel so stressed and his reaction wound me up so much that I don't feel like eating at all now. I've left it and gone upstairs to bed.

I get that maybe he didn't like it, and I want him to be honest, but AIBU to think that there are nicer and better ways of saying it than pulling faces and repeatedly moaning that's it's disgusting?

He'd have been wearing it if he'd done that to me............

DH learned a long time ago to say something isn't to his taste but he appreciates the effort I've gone to.

YANBU. At all.

My SEN son did that when he was eight. He'd grown out of it by age 9. YANBU. He is.

We've had discussions recently where I explained that I've been feeling very unappreciated, and he didn't understand why. I think this is a perfect example to sum it up.

Yeah no more cooking for him.
Unless it was just horrific or he has an amazingly stressful intense job that requires a certain amount of food, then he can stick it up his arse. So rude.
He sounds like he didn't even do the bedtime routine properly so he can do dinner instead.

Don't cook for him any more.

What a childish reaction. How unattractive. I'd have been really cross about that too. No wonder you feel unappreciated, it sounds like bring married to him is a completely thankless task. Stick to beans on toast from now on.

My son is 8 and he’s already learned to say, “Hmm, not really my taste, thank you.”

Oh ffs, is he a toddler?

Yeah it's really childish and hurtful. It's so disappointing when you spend time and effort making a dish and it doesn't work out. I've cried before now (I know) and DH will just say 'well never mind' or with some stuff he might say 'I don't think it's as nice as your last one' but he wouldn't pull faces or anything like that (especially as he can't cook for toffee).

Like someone else said - he would have been wearing it.

What a tw*t.

If he doesn’t like it that’s fine, but it’s not ok to sulk about it.

Tell him he can cook the next time.

It’s a meal that you slaved over that he really didn’t like. Did you ask him what it was that he didn’t like? Too salty? Too bland? Too many ingredients that he doesn’t like? Icky texture?
Maybe it was disgusting to him.
It’s hard to appeal every night for years.
Yes he could have been a bit more constructive in his criticism. However, it’s just a meal. No need to post to the world about it.

Muttering in his mother tongue is also not ok, and was done to make you feel very uncomfortable and on edge

Don’t cook for him again.

So he only did his share of childcare when nagged, and even then it was a poor attempt, he then goes onto be a spoilt childish prick. If this is normal for your household I think I'd be holding crisis talks with him about his contribution and value to the marriage, and a plan for going forward that included him being far less of a lazy twat.

Anyone complaining about a meal they've not had to bother cooking themselves can fuck right off.

1MoreWinePlease

"No need to post to the world about it."

Erm... its a chat board where people post about their lives/experiences/opinions. No need to post most of what goes on MN. Somewhat missing the point.

In any case the OP's husband has been rude and she has every right to be pissed off with the way he handled it.

My XP did something similar.

I said 'I could make a bread and butter pudding' as a suggestion for dessert and he screwed up his face and said 'yuk!' like a four year old.

It was the beginning of the end. He had the palate of an unadventurous toddler anyway.

YANBU

I remember trying a new recipe that went really wrong, it tasted worse than it looked which was pretty impressive considering how it looked but my husband still had the good grace to enthusiastically try it and keep a straight face while thanking me for the effort as he knew I was quite upset it had gone so wrong. Then we made eye contact, both burst out laughing and ordered takeaway. So there certainly are better ways

His turn to cook tomorrow.

Wow. He would have worn it if I'd have been you!!

I am the first to say when my cooking goes wrong, DH will ALWAYS try it, and most of the time eat it, and find a way to be pleasant about it, as he appreciates the effort that goes into making dinner. Even if it is really bloody terrible, he won't make me feel bad about it - YANBU. At all.

Tell him to cook his own from now on, eat with DD who is probably far more well mannered and will appreciate your efforts.

YANBU that is horrible of him. Especially given he doesn’t seem to be contributing anything to the smooth running of the household.

Maybe you need a serious discussion with him or maybe he needs to cook the dinner from now on?

YANBU, he is.
An appropriate response would have been something like" Thank you so much for all the effort you've gone to to make something new Jammy but I am not very keen on this recipe. The one you did the other week was lovely though - can we have that one instead next time ?"
It is perfectly possible to be honest about not liking something but also be polite and appreciative. My DH rarely cooks so I don't think he fully appreciates the effort involved and we have had a few incidents over the years when he has made jokes about something I have cooked that hasn't really worked. I don't like it when he does that and I tell him so, but he has never been as rude as you are describing. I think you need to have a serious talk with him about how he is behaving. What has worked for me in the past is asking my husband to think about how he would feel if one of our children spoke to either of us like that.

@Span1elsRock
*He'd have been wearing it if he'd done that to me............

DH learned a long time ago to say something isn't to his taste but he appreciates the effort I've gone to.*
How many times did you throw it am him before he learned?

Muttering in his mother tongue is also not ok, and was done to make you feel very uncomfortable and on edge

Calculated nastiness.

You say this is representative of his pattern of behaviour towards you?

YANBU. That's a horrid reaction and one that even my 7 year old would know better than to show.