to think there are nicer ways of saying you don't like it?

[JammyGem]

Tried a new risotto recipe tonight. I cooked a risotto for the first time a couple weeks ago and it was really nice, DH was also impressed as it's not something we'd normally eat. Spent a long time tonight prepping dinner, and OK, it wasn't as nice a recipe as before but it wasn't THAT bad.

DH pulls a face as soon as it's served. Doesn't even try it, just keeps stirring it with his fork. I said it's not as nice as before but it'll do. Then once he eats the tiniest bit he starts muttering in his mother tongue that it's disgusting.

I'm just really pissed off. It was a new recipe that didn't work out, but it really wasn't that bad at all. I spent ages in the kitchen making it while he was supposed to be looking after DD and doing bedtime, but I kept having to come in to do bits for her and to hurry him along as he was just sat in front of the TV. Even with my constant reminders, she ended up going to bed an hour later than usual. And now he's complaining about the dinner.

I just feel so stressed and his reaction wound me up so much that I don't feel like eating at all now. I've left it and gone upstairs to bed.

I get that maybe he didn't like it, and I want him to be honest, but AIBU to think that there are nicer and better ways of saying it than pulling faces and repeatedly moaning that's it's disgusting?

I'm ancient and have lived with lots of men.

The only one who was horrible when I screwed up my cooking was the abusive one.

Two things I have never managed to trick my husband into saying:

• that I look/am fat
• that my cooking is bad

Even when I weighed 21st and burned the paella.

He would always, ALWAYS find some way to be nice about me, what I'd done, the efforts I'd made.

He's so nice he can stick around now I've lost 6st and only occasionally burn things.

I would be making that, and exclusively that, for the foreseeable future, in order to improve it. Or just see if I'd done something wrong.

How rude. Maybe he needs to take cooking duties over?

I've taught my kids to say 'It doesn't do justice to the effort you put in' which acknowledges the effort and sort of makes it sound like it's the food's fault! If they can manage to be polite, then I'm sure a grown man who has done fuck all to help out with family life could be a little more constructive.

It's okay not to like a new recipe, it is not okay to behave in such a rude and childish manner. Pulling faces? Playing with his food? Muttering in his native tongue about how 'disgusting' it was?

I don't do food tantrums, not from approximately two up. I'd be binning the food, and given the rest of it - slacking on looking after his child and getting her to bed, instead tuning into the tv, leaving OP to do that as well, I'd be contemplating binning more than the meal.

I hope he's getting home tonight to a nice helping of 'you can have whatever you can be arsed to get yourself you ungrateful twat' - and make sure you've made yourself an absolutely lovely meal (that he can't help himself to) and enjoy it very much in front of him.

YANBU, it’s rude and disrespectful. As an adult he should know better really, he behaved like a toddler.

How bloody rude.

He can damn well cook for himself in future.

That sounds like my x, even down to the muttering in his mother tongue. It is very hurtful and insulting. He did mellow out over the years but it is really horrible.

Oh god, it’s coming back to me now... the horrible feeling when I put the food in front of him and waiting for the inevitable “that’s sour” or whatever. When I eventually spoke to him about it he said that he thought I’d appreciate the advice.