We have quite a lot of people to buy for at Christmas, and we are on a low income. A close relative has four children, and every year she will message me by mid November, informing me what the children want for Christmas that year. This is never less than £20-30 a head, so I'm usually spending £80 minimum.
There is a bit of a weird dynamic in the family. These children are, frankly, spoiled, but combined with a minimalist/cleaning obsessed mother means that they basically have a moving line of toys coming through the house all year round. What happens is the child decides he or she is "into something", every related toy is bought, big fanfare is made, a few months later child is said to be bored of that character/toy and everything goes into the attic, charity shop or dump. Relative is quite open about this, it's all very "what can you do, that bores them now". For example, her youngest child was bought a huge expensive train set last year- it was in the attic by the end of February and on FB marketplace by April. They aren't allowed toys out on shelves or on the floor, their rooms are spotlessly clean but there are no pictures, shelvesit's literally a bed, chest of drawers, curtains and under bed storage for toys. I bought them special limited edition books for each christeningshe sent them to the charity shop as they were old fashioned and cluttered up the rooms. She encourages them to watch TV or go on their ipads so as not to mess up the house. Yet every year we're sent the list
Relative, however, never returns the favour for my two children. One of mine for example has a specific hobby and they prefer to be bought things relating to that - nothing overly expensive - relative says she'll get XYZ and then gets some piece of tat which is totally different. I suspect some of the things have been unopened regifts from her own children, which I wouldn't have a problem with only they generally an inappropriate age/some total crap from poundland/a character which my children haven't the least interest in. If she spends a tenner each I'd be shocked.
I know I may sound grabby, but I'm spending the guts of £100 on her children, money which to be quite honest I'd rather spend on nicer things for my own kids,who are often told they can't have an item due to expense.
Our presents to these children aren't appreciated or wanted past a few months - AIBU to think this is shit, and to stick a fiver in a card per child along with a box of sweets to share?