DH on PS4 while watching toddler. AIBU?

[Sawdustandrainbows]

Give it to me straight because he insists I am...

DH was off work yesterday after working several back to back 12 hour shifts. We have a 15 month old DD which he’d barely seen for days because of this.

I had to go upstairs to do some revision for college so asked DH to watch her. I was up there for just over an hour. At first I could hear them laughing and playing but then it went quiet. When I came downstairs DH was on his PS4 (not actually playing a game but uploading some football thing onto it) and not really taking much notice of DD.

I felt quite upset given he has barely seen DD for days. I said he should really be paying attention to her, not his PS4 which he can play to his hearts content when she’s in bed! He got annoyed with me, saying that unlike me he can do more than one thing at a time and that there was nothing wrong with him being on it.

So was I unreasonable or not? Perhaps I was being but it just broke my heart a bit that he couldn’t even give her his full attention for an hour. I don’t want her growing up thinking a games console is more important.

He did play with her. You sound a control freak

YABU. I think we get bombarded with messages that make us think we should give our children our undivided attention at all times. But since time began children have played around their parents feet while their parents got on with other things. It does them no harm. I'm sure he did want to see her but he's just getting on with life.

You are not being unreasonable at all OP ....he gets no points in the parenting league tables for not interacting with his child.A PS4 is not more important,I would be livid too...

What are your other issues regarding different styles of parenting @Sawdustandrainbows. You say you are a ball of anxiety since DD has been born. Hopefully this is something you can maybe address at counselling sessions.

@Sallycinammonbangsthedruminthe good thing there's no such thing as parenting league tables then isn't there?

This idea that children need constant interaction with adults, is part of the hellishness of modern parenting.

Well, if you are going to neglect your child, you should be neglecting them for something far more worthy and cerebral than a playstation amirite?

How was she being neglected?

Maybe the child herself had moved away from her dad content to play with something else? At that age my children would sit at one thing for a few minutes before wandering on to something else. I didn't follow them to every activity. I let them chose what they wanted and I always found when they wanted my input or participation in their game they would come to me.

I don't like gaming, it is a bone of contention in our house because I limit it strictly for our eldest whereas DH is very chilled. However, would you be cross if he had opened a book or newspaper? Or if he had been browsing something on his phone?
If she was happy pottering around with her toys I don't see the problem. If she had been crying for him then yes it would be unacceptable.
The console is a bit of a red herring here.