To think school kids shouldn’t be rewarded with stickers for eating all of their lunch!

[Caramelll]

At my DD’s school, children who eat all of their school dinners are given a sticker. My DD is 6 and is within the healthy weight bracket and, although she is a very good eater, she rarely eats every last thing on her plate. My ethos with my kids has always been that they should know the importance of stopping eating when their tummies are full. DD will often turn down her desert at school if she is full up or will leave some of her main if she doesn’t have room. She said to me that she is getting upset that she rarely gets the stickers and asked me if she should make herself eat the food even though she is full up.

I do completely understand that their are children who are fussy with food and may need encouragement but at the same time, sending the message to kids that they should force themselves to eat to the point of potentially be uncomfortably full just doesn’t seem right to me.

I have had a chat to DD and explained to her that the stickers are really there for the fussy eaters or for those who need encouragement to eat their meals and that she shouldn’t worry about them. That being said, she is six and just wants to be able to get the stickers like her friends are.

AIBU to think that the stickers are sending the wrong message to some of the kids?

Sigh. Not overly bothered by food DD

tell your DD, some people aren't as sensible/grown up as you are about food, they can be a bit silly- so the stickers are to help them learn better

Don't tell her this. It stigmatises children like my DS who don't eat because of sensory problems. He's not silly, he's not lacking in sensibility, and he is just as grown up as the other kids but food is scary and confusing for him. He doesn't need stickers to help him learn better, his dietician actually advises against things like stickers and other rewards in exchange for eating as it encourages unhealthy associations and habits.

The best advice I ever had was not to speak to my kids as if they're kids. Just speak to them as you would anyone. Use big words, don't shy away from confusing concepts. Just talk to them.

I would tell me kids all the points which have been made here and explain that it's a misguided attempt to promote good food habits, but it actually makes things worse. Then use her own thoughts as the example: she currently eats in the correct way buy is now wanting to stuff herself just to get a sticker. Just talk to her the way you'd talk to an adult, and explain further anything she doesn't understand.

I was one of those kids putting food on the floor as we had to finish the plate when I was in school/kindergarden. We didn't get stickers though but would get told off for leaving food. I was a fussy eater and it messed me up a bit. Took me a while to get over it. Now I eat everything though (except meat and that was a big point of contention at school - I've stayed behind many times in front of a plate of cold stew that I'd refuse to eat).
Stickers are not a good way to teach anything anyway but certainly not a good idea where food is concerned.

I agree; I’d rather my DD are until she was full than cleared her plate. I thought that’s what we’ve been trying to teach children with baby led weaning etc.
I wonder if they could find another way to encourage children to eat a decent amount although I’m not really sure what.

It’s an awful idea and likely to create issues for many children. I also have a very fussy eater and we have also been advised against any type of rewards, bribery, cajoling or making a big issue out of eating or not eating. I would also imagine it creates problems for children who force ,themselves to eat rather than listening to their own hunger cues.

It doesn’t surprise me though, the amount of misinformation surrounding eating habits is staggering.

When Ds still ate in the hall I had to send specific instructions into the dinner staff not to pressure him to eat. He will eat what he wants.

He has an eating disorder called ARFID and is now tube fed. Pressure to eat works in the opposite way for him and it means he is less likely to eat anything, at all. Now he has his tube and he eats away from the busy school hall he will happily eat his apple and packet of crisps most days.

I think at both sides of the weight problem forcing or rewarding children to eat is going to be problematic

I think you're right but it's hard to get over the idea that finishing is good. I always finish my plate, even if I've served myself too much - it drives me mad when DH always leaves something, although I know it's my issue. I try not to do the same with DD but DH and me did catch ourselves trying to make her finish a slice of cake the other day - she has a tendency to say she wants a dessert and then only eat the best bit, e.g. the icing off the cake. So we started telling her she couldn't just eat the best bits, she had to try it all and then I was like 'hang on, did we just tell her she has to eat all the cake?! She's not getting enough cake??' Agghhh!!!