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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think school kids shouldn’t be rewarded with stickers for eating all of their lunch!

33 replies

Caramelll · 11/11/2019 19:58

At my DD’s school, children who eat all of their school dinners are given a sticker. My DD is 6 and is within the healthy weight bracket and, although she is a very good eater, she rarely eats every last thing on her plate. My ethos with my kids has always been that they should know the importance of stopping eating when their tummies are full. DD will often turn down her desert at school if she is full up or will leave some of her main if she doesn’t have room. She said to me that she is getting upset that she rarely gets the stickers and asked me if she should make herself eat the food even though she is full up.

I do completely understand that their are children who are fussy with food and may need encouragement but at the same time, sending the message to kids that they should force themselves to eat to the point of potentially be uncomfortably full just doesn’t seem right to me.

I have had a chat to DD and explained to her that the stickers are really there for the fussy eaters or for those who need encouragement to eat their meals and that she shouldn’t worry about them. That being said, she is six and just wants to be able to get the stickers like her friends are.

AIBU to think that the stickers are sending the wrong message to some of the kids?

OP posts:
Musicalstatues · 11/11/2019 20:01

They do that in reception at our school and I don’t like it either. It definitely gives the wrong message. I’ve always tried to encourage my dc to stop when they’re full.

Having said that, have you seen the portion sizes?? They’re tiny!

oblada · 11/11/2019 20:02

You are absolutely right. I'd have a chat with the school. Why not turn it into 'I tried a bit of everything' sticker? That's what I ask of my kids. Not to polish their plate. When they are old enough and able to decide how much food to plate up then yes I will expect the plate finished most of the time, only because I hate waste.

pinksquash13 · 11/11/2019 20:04

I'd say school dinners are the right size in my school as they are served up according to the child's age and often to their wishes I.e. "just a little bit please" or "I'd like 3 please" so most should finish without a problem. I do hear your point but the bigger issue in schools is children not eating because they are keen to go and play. Don't forget the physical and mental energy expelled at school, especially for younger ones. They need the fuel.

HeyYouWhatToDo · 11/11/2019 20:07

We have "lunchtime award" stickers to dish out to anyone who has behaved well, tried new foods, eaten all their food, sat nicely at the table, been kind or polite, ect. So you can get a sticker even without finishing the whole meal.

NailsNeedDoing · 11/11/2019 20:10

I agree with you in that children should learn to recognise when they are full so that they don't over eat, but as your dd shows, if a child is genuinely full then it is going to be difficult to get them to eat.

I'd imagine that the school was having a problem with children not eating enough because they wanted to go out to play or because they were reluctant to try the school food. Considering the portion sizes of school dinners, it's unlikely that children are going to have the opportunity to over eat, so I doubt the sticker incentives will be harmful in that way. Children not eating enough is likely to be a bigger problem than a few children who are eating well being disappointed that they don't get a sticker.

Original poster
Caramelll · 11/11/2019 20:35

I completely understand that children not eating their meals is a bigger issue in schools than those who eat their lunch but don’t quite manage to finish it. I just feel sorry for DD. Like I said, she eats well. She eats the same evening meals as DH & I and never turns down a meal. She has a healthy, admittedly not huge, appetite and as I said, her weight is in the healthy range. I just don’t like the fact she’s feeling as though she isn’t doing as well with her meals as the kids who eat every last thing.

OP posts:
transformandriseup · 11/11/2019 20:35

YANBU

eurochick · 11/11/2019 20:37

I completely agree OP. My daughter got one once in Reception. The school got feedback...

With the link between obesity and cancer one of the most important things to teach children is to listen to their bodies and stop when they've had enough.

Bearfrills · 11/11/2019 20:38

My child is a fussy eater and needs encouragement to even start a meal never mind finish it and I don't like the stickers. They contradict every single piece of advice given to us by his dietician.

DS is an inventive sort though and when he realised you could get a sticker for having an empty plate he duly obliged by emptying it onto the floor under his table and then cashing in the empty plate for a sticker. His defence was "they never said I had to eat it, I only had to have an empty plate".

Autumntoowet · 11/11/2019 20:39

YANBU
I would have a chat to them. I had eating disorders growing up and this is the kind of stuff that you don’t want.

Footiefan2019 · 11/11/2019 20:41

I have a friend who’s completely unable to leave uneaten food because of this throughout childhood. It’s become pathological. She’s struggled with her weight because she’ll clear a massive portion because she just can’t leave it whereas I’d take it home or portion up next day or even bin if unsaveable without feeling bad. Because feeling uncomfortably full ruins eating for me

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 11/11/2019 20:44

I'm the lunchtime supervisor at my school. I don't give out the 'I ate all my lunch' stickers for precisely the reasons stated. I'm undecided about the whole sticker thing anyway, but I will occasionally give them, e.g. if a child has tried some they've alway ref previously.

BeBraveAndBeKind · 11/11/2019 20:45

DS is an inventive sort though and when he realised you could get a sticker for having an empty plate he duly obliged by emptying it onto the floor under his table and then cashing in the empty plate for a sticker. His defence was "they never said I had to eat it, I only had to have an empty plate". I love this! This boy is going to go far!

Parttimewasteoftime · 11/11/2019 20:46

Yeah mine get team points for eating it all and pudding. I am over weight so is a worry for me also they can have endless fruit snacks.

Bearfrills · 11/11/2019 20:49

@BeBraveAndBeKind he also went through a stage of emptying it onto his sister's plate and cashing it in for a sticker. DD was very cross that she couldn't get a sticker because she couldn't eat two dinners so he started sharing it around the table instead and putting a little bit onto all of the plates.

He's king of the loophole.

GrumpyHoonMain · 11/11/2019 20:52

So what if she eats all her lunch for the sticker, you can always adjust down the dinner portion to compensate. And to be honest I’m in the camp where kids shouldn’t be getting two big main meals per day. If she gets a big cooked lunch at school then the evening meal should be light (soup etc) to compensate - especially as she won’t be burning that meal off.

BeBraveAndBeKind · 11/11/2019 22:40

@Bearfrills That's great problem solving! I have a loophole finder myself and hear a lot of "ah, but you didn't say...". Amusing and frustrating in equal measure. Smile

SarahAndQuack · 11/11/2019 22:53

the bigger issue in schools is children not eating because they are keen to go and play

Is it, though? We are always being told that a worrying proportion of children are obese. Is there really a huge issue with children who are offered food, refusing it and becoming ill because they decided to play instead?

SarahAndQuack · 11/11/2019 22:54

(And it isn't a great idea for anyone to stuff themselves and then 'compensate' by having a smaller meal later.)

purpleme12 · 11/11/2019 23:10

I agree I've never really bothered about my child not eating enough. I don't say to her to eat it all.

Her school doesn't have stickers at dinner time but I know they encourage them to eat more and eating it all is even better - more than I would at home.

I don't think this sticker thing is good

Jollitwiglet · 11/11/2019 23:14

YANBU

It's not about actual portion sizes being the problem at that age, it's instilling the idea that you should always clear your plate that is the problem.

Lulualla · 11/11/2019 23:17

Our school to be out "I tried s new food today" stickers and my oldest keeps coming home wearing them. When I ask what food, he tells me a vegetable which we eat all the time!!! They basically give them to the kids who eat their veggies, even when it's not a new food!! Totally pointless.

Lulualla · 11/11/2019 23:21

@GrumpyHoonMain

My kids have 3 hours of sport on 4 nights a week, then 2 hours on a Sunday. If I only let them have their school meal then a bowl of soup, they'd be ill and I'd have social services at my door.

StillWeRise · 11/11/2019 23:26

totally agree OP
if they must have stickers at lunchtime it could be for
good manners
being kind/helpful to others
tell your DD, some people aren't as sensible/grown up as you are about food, they can be a bit silly- so the stickers are to help them learn better.
And give her lots of praise/talk about how great it us that you can all enjoy yummy/healthy food together

YourOpinionIsNoted · 11/11/2019 23:31

Well I bloody well love that they do, it's the only thing that has motivated my fussy eating and not overly bothered by food to eat at school.

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