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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have my dog put to sleep?

253 replies

NotAHun · 11/11/2019 19:44

Not sure this is the right place to be posting this. Long time poster but name changed for privacy...

We have a small ish breed dog. She’s 5, over the last year she’s bitten 2 of my dc one twice, and two other times when people have knocked at door, once when taking a toy off of her, she’s also bitten me hard enough that I lost my nail. She just punctured ds’s arm right on the bony bit and through a long sleeved top and jumper because he tried to push her away as he opened the door to let me in (I hadn’t knocked and she would have heard it was my voice the other side of the door.

I cannot walk her off lead as she would definitely bite a toddler unprovoked she hates tiny children! My dc are all over 5. I don’t feel comfortable re homing her because no one can guarantee that they never come into contact with children and I feel responsible.

It’s awful because we all love her but if ds had been wearing a t shirt and not a jumper she could’ve done serious damage. I feel so guilty at the thought of having her pts but no idea what to do.

OP posts:
Original poster
NotAHun · 11/11/2019 21:22

Of course it’s not my preferred option, she’s my dog and I love her dearly despite her faults however to me it’s seems the most responsible option.

OP posts:
LunaFortuna · 11/11/2019 21:22

Sounds like you've made your mind up so why ask. Something has clearly changed if she was fine for the first 4 years - you could at least speak to a rescue (someone mentioned the Dogs Trust) and see what they advise, they may even agree with you. It's only a phone call.

Kaleidoscope93 · 11/11/2019 21:22

I agree with those saying take her to the shelter. They won't just give her to someone willy-nilly and they'll make sure she goes to a suitable home. It's unfair on the dog for you to PTS especially when you haven't been able to devote the time with a behaviourist. Rescues will have contacts who can help work with her and try to amend the problem. Obviously she's not able to stay with you if she keeps biting but I don't think it's fair of you to PTS

Charmlight · 11/11/2019 21:22

Maneandfeathers The truth.

1Morewineplease · 11/11/2019 21:23

I’m so sorry to hear your story. Your dog can clearly, no longer be trusted but it sounds like a behavioural issue. Unless you can afford a dog behaviourist then I’d consider a charity like ‘Last Chance Animal Rescue’ who usually take on dogs who are struggling in a normal household and who show extreme behavioural issues. Please google them.

DriftingLeaves · 11/11/2019 21:25

I don't know why you are hesitating. Your children are in danger. PTS ASAP

Perunatop · 11/11/2019 21:28

Sadly it sounds as though your decision to PTS would be appropriate given the dog's history of repeated biting of children.

ShawshanksRedemption · 11/11/2019 21:28

Of course it’s not my preferred option, she’s my dog and I love her dearly despite her faults however to me it’s seems the most responsible option.

So did you work with a behaviourist or was it just as assessment? Would you be willing to work with a behaviourist?

I'm not one for saying I'd never PTS, but I would exhaust all other options first. PTS is a last resort for me.

Junkmail · 11/11/2019 21:31

It’s really awful but pts might be the best option after reading your replies. I don’t even know if a shelter would take her with a bite history? And even if they did who knows how long she will be stuck there? Most people don’t want a known biter. It sounds like she’s a big risk to your children and it also sounds like she’s very stressed—not fair on anyone. When I was a kid I had a friend who’s mother bred dogs. One of the dogs bit my friend’s face and the mother made the decision to have the dog put down. It’s really rough but with kids coming and going and management not working I mean... you have limited options.

lexiepuppy · 11/11/2019 21:32

Have you ever used a crate for her?
She might feel safer and if children are around you can put her in it.

Does she get plenty of exercise ? So she can run off nervous energy?

CheeryB · 11/11/2019 21:35

Things aren't right in your house but that's not to say she would be the same living with a little old lady

But who knows, she might also bite the little old lady. I couldn't have that on my conscience. 5 bites is way too many. Moving to a new environment is stressful for an animal. PTS is safest option.

GreyHare · 11/11/2019 21:36

There are far worse things for a dog than being put to sleep, languishing in a kennel in a rehoming centre for months on end as lets face it, she is not going to be easy to rehome is horribly stressful for any animal, but she could be there for a very long time and other behavioural problems could then crop up/be learnt narrowing her chances even further.

I'm sorry you are in this position.

Original poster
NotAHun · 11/11/2019 21:36

I have been speaking to one and had initial couple of sessions with no improvement and after tonight quite frankly after seeing what happened I no longer have the inclination to keep going and feel by keeping her in the house I am putting my children at risk. I love her but of course I love my children more. Had ds not been wearing a jumper and long sleeved shirt she could’ve done a lot more damage. I genuinely don’t think 🤔 reserve room g with DB will help. I cannot stop people coming and going from the house this is the main issue. I’d understand if she wasn’t getting time and exercise she has both.

OP posts:
81Byerley · 11/11/2019 21:36

You need to have her put to sleep.

WhoWants2Know · 11/11/2019 21:38

If she gets so distressed staying with family, then a shelter would be awful for her.

A large crate/kennel with her bed inside would make a safe space for her when you can't supervise closely, and a well fitted muzzle should be comfortable and stay on when she's not confined.

To be honest, there aren't going to be any easy solutions here. They all suck. But if you delay making a decision, you may find it's taken out of your hands. Did you seek medical treatment for your kids when a bite broke their skin? Repeated incidents could have some very dire consequences.

NameChangedForTheDay · 11/11/2019 21:51

Rehome the dog, with someone who can help it. It's not the dog's fault. Get some proper help here.

It's only young and to take its life is wrong.

Pannalash · 11/11/2019 21:51

Did you intentionally breed from her OP?

gingerbreaddragon · 11/11/2019 21:52

I think your most responsible and appropriate option is PTS.

There are so many dogs without this kind of aggression already in rescues. Even if a childless home came into the picture, you cannot eliminate children from a dog's life. They will encounter children on walks, visiting children, children within the family. That's without her biting any adults. It's such a sad decision but there are many worse fates. Given her history I would view it as irresponsible to rehome her (in the kindest way, that's the decision I'd make in your shoes and I can see you are doing your best).

Plenty of people may tell you to do more, to preserve her life at all costs but I think five bites in the home of a loving owner shows that enough is enough now.

NarcolepticOuchMouse · 11/11/2019 21:53

You need to speak to a APDT, registered behaviourist. That industry has a problem with little to no regulation and so anyone can call themselves a dog trainer. Our local puppy classes taught us all kinds of things wrong and we didn't know until the dog showed aggression. We took him to an actual professional and he started making progress. It seems you've already decided but have you really tried everything you can? Actually talking to people qualified to help you?

Wallywobbles · 11/11/2019 21:53

My cocker suddenly bit kids multiple times. I had to wait 3 weeks to pts because of rabies regs. In that time he bit another child in our home. He had to be constantly tied up in the house as we were living with 6 kids. As much as possible he hung with me. I adored him and it was mutual.

He was 10. And the last day he lost it, and scared me. I could no longer be sure of him at all. He was in no pain as far as anyone could establish.

The vet came and put him down while DH and I were giving him a cuddle. Died peacefully in our arms and is buried under a tree in the garden.

Good luck with your choice.

Original poster
NotAHun · 11/11/2019 21:56

Yes I did as stated this is a relatively new thing.

I had a waiting list, I had genetic health tests and participated in a breed specific health testing scheme which incidentally has a temperament assessment involved! She had one litter and was then spayed. Although I do not say the relevance, this was two years ago.

I don’t feel it’s our fault either she has always been loved and looked after and fussed

OP posts:
UrsulaPandress · 11/11/2019 21:58

What breed is she?

Original poster
NotAHun · 11/11/2019 21:59

Wally that sounds awful, could well have been cocker rage, fairly rare but horrendous.

We used to crate her but she got aggressive if people or dogs walked near the crate. So I stopped also we do not really have enough room for a crate now

OP posts:
Original poster
NotAHun · 11/11/2019 22:00

I don’t particularly want to state the breed. It’s not a breed renowned for aggression. It’s also not relevant, she isn’t huge but she is big enough and strong enough to cause harm, especially to a child

OP posts:
TheMasterBaker · 11/11/2019 22:01

She terrorises your other dogs? As in, she has bitten them? Is she DA of other dogs in public etc? If so, Dogs Trust for example will likely tell you they wouldn't take her as they wouldn't be able to keep her due to dog aggression. We tried with our old dog (I say old, he was 2) to have them put him on their waiting list for a space. He was bullying our other dog and I was getting concerned about his behaviour. It turns out he had a serious condition, one not picked up by normal blood tests. What bloods did your vet run? Has she always been like this or it's started happening? Any other symptoms at all? We had bloods run for our old dog because his behaviour was getting very concerning. Normal bloods showed nothing, he then had to have specific tests. The one which came back positive was Cushing's disease. It caused dog aggression first, then added in guarding me from the children. It ended up that he had to be kept away from the family as we had 3 young children. His condition progressed very quickly and we had to make the decision to PTS when he was only 3 years old.
I can completely understand where you're coming from with PTS being something you're having to consider and I know from experience how incredibly heartbreaking it is to do. Have you exhausted all the areas? Have you tried more than one behaviourist? Does she have a safe area in the house she can retreat to if she's feeling overwhelmed by kids, visitors? Plenty of exercise?
If you feel that your children and other children are seriously at risk, you have 3 options really I guess, back to vets to see if any more tests are possible (Cushing's for example is treatable but very expensive, makes them prone for more illnesses but can give them many years more of life), find a shelter who will give her a chance and work with her to see if her behaviour is correctable or PTS. Sorry you're having to make the decision, I think you've pretty much made your mind up about what is right for you and when you're concerned about your kids safety, you have to do what feels right for you and your family.

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