Such severe emetephobia ruining my life

[NigesFakeWalkingStick]

Ok, fully expect to get blasted here but please be as kind as you can?

I know some MN doesn't believe in the emetephobia thing (after all who likes sick) but I genuinely have paralysing phobia of sick. I lost a chunk of my 20s being so afraid I became agrophobic, I've had all therapy types offered to me, I'm currently on as much medication as I can be on. Basically, it's ruined my life.

I took my 3 year old to nursery this morning (only day he does, I'm a SAHM) and saw the dreaded 'D&V' sign outside. I nearly took him straight back home but gave myself a talking to and went in, asked about it, found out if it was in his class etc. Not actively in his class but 2 kids that were usually in on a Monday weren't in, presumably with the bug.

Downstairs three rooms had kids off with it, and staff members off with it too. So it's running rampage.

Against my better judgement I left him there happy. I went home and my slight panic turned into god almighty panic attacks and I couldn't centre myself using any of my usual methods. I am terrified of him getting the sick bug, paralysed. I have such a strong phobia about it I cannot put into words. I managed to get so worked up that after about 4.5 hours I went back up to the nursery and picked him up, although if he's caught it, I suspect he'll have caught it already - he was playing in the communal ballpit, etc.

I know this phobia is ruining my life. I am desperate for it not to ruin my sons the way it's consumed me for 25 years, and I'm going to the GP this week to see if there is anything else they can do to help because I can't cope.

Is it likely he's caught anything though? No active bug in the room he's in, although staff are covering the ones downstairs so there may have been some cross over.

I know IABU with this frankly fucking ridiculous phobia, but I need to talk to someone. I am a single parent and everyone thinks this is crazy.

@Spoonsmum I used to do that too. Maybe I should try that again.

@Lolwhat yes - 5 times!

You did the right thing to send him in. It wasn’t selfish, it was the opposite. You’re trying to give him a normal life where you’re not teaching him to avoid situations. That was brave. I know it’s made you extremely anxious but it’s important not to avoid situations with him, both so that he doesn’t miss out or learn avoidance also so that you can get used to exposing yourself and him to potentially scary situations and see that actually it’s ok.

That was my way of thinking @Karwomannghia - I thought that if I kept him off I would only be feeding the phobia and anxiety and that I would never learn how to deal with it. Unfortunately as the day went on I became more anxious and had to pick him up.

Yes but you did it for a bit. And it’s been ok! I know it feels horrible and scary to go through but you took an important step.