It's a softplay one...

[thefluffysideofgrey]

At softplay last week with two friends and their kids - all about three including my DS. All playing nicely in the toddler area, we're all keeping an eye on them. Another family arrive with two boys about 2-4. They enter the toddler area and start playing. All good.

A few minutes later the two boys push my DS to the floor and start punching him. My DS just looks shocked and scared, he curls up into a ball. I run over. One of the boys hitting him runs away, the other keeps punching my DS who is still curled in a ball. I (gently) pull the boy hitting my son away and hold him (struggling to hit my son) until his mother comes over. She does so and gives me a mouthful of abuse.

I say nothing to her, pick up my son and take him away for cuddles.

Did I do the right thing? I could'nt believe what I was seeing. Those two little boys were acting like something out of gansta movie, beating (punching and kicking) my son on the floor. One was laughing.

That is not normal behaviour, surely?

Did I do I do the right thing? Never seen behaviour like that before so no idea what you're supposed to do.

You did the right thing.

I would never put my hands on someone else's child unless it was absolutely necessary, and in this case it was.

Soft play brings out a lot of parents inner arsehole. I hate the places. Crawling with mostly feral kids and parents who happily sip coffee and feign ignorance while their kids run absolutely wild.

YANBU.
My LG is 19 months so the past year or so myself and a friend who has a son the same age have been taking them to soft play (there is an under 2s section there) and honestly the amount of times she's been hit and pushed and even head butted is ridiculous!!! All the children who have done this to her and my friends son have clearly been over the age of 2 but I rarely take her anymore because of it. I understand toddlers and children bicker and squabble but these are really violent little children and their parents are always nowhere to be seen!!

Well that's basically unanimous!

I do wonder what kind of home life they have to learn that.

Of course you did the right thing. What was the alternative, letting those little nightmares beat up your son until they got bored?

Soft play brings out a lot of parents inner arsehole. I hate the places. Crawling with mostly feral kids and parents who happily sip coffee and feign ignorance while their kids run absolutely wild

Thats just what my DD2 says, the exact same:(

I’d have hauled any kid away from mine if they were hurting them - and I’d have said very loudly stop hitting in a calm firm voice so that any onlookers were aware and I’d have gone to reception and told them what happened.

If their mothers gave me abuse I’d have said exactly what happened but tbh at that point your kids safety and emotions mean they need you to deescalate the situation. By walking off.

I wouldn’t have gone back to soft play but I’d tell the soft play exactly why I wasn’t coming back.

From my point I think this morning re the police (it's been a long day). The parents can be held responsible. From the description given in the OP this was incredibly violent behaviour- a learned behaviour perhaps?

The police should be made aware of these families it could be likely they are on their radar anyway. I'm not saying the kids will be taken into care but there are parenting programmes on offer/other action that can be taken.

I definitely think that family needs help. Can't see much of a future for those boys other than jail otherwise.

I would have given her a bloody good mouthful back! Cheeky bitch

Is it really that big a deal to touch another person’s child?

Unfortunately these days, yes. I don't mind people helping or picking up my son if it is for good reason

Not normal, but I'd have picked my child up and carried them away rather than holding on to the other child, that was a strange reaction from you tbh. Well done on not giving a mouthful back, not sure ud have been that grown up

Why did you hold the other child until the mother came? My reaction would have been to pick up my son and comfort him.
Did you leave your child in a ball on the floor crying whilst restraining the other child whilst waiting for the mother? Surely you should have just whipped your son up and comforted him? Weird reaction I think, is there more to this? It doesn’t play right.

Well done. Your first job as a parent is to protect your child.

You did the absolute minimum to stop your child being assaulted. I feel sorry for those kids. God knows what they have experienced to behave like that.

You did the perfect thing. Well done

I would have sternly told the child off and physically stopped them hitting anyone else. I think I’d also have had something to say to the mother.

When I was little my mum took me to soft play and one child was full on stampeding round the place, hitting and biting etc. All the mum's just side eyeing each other. He hit me, and my mum picked the kid up and loudly called out to the room "Whose child is this? Come and watch him, he is being a menace".

I wish you could do shit like that these days.

You see some real ratbags at soft play. I saw one try and push a little girl down the slide (second storey slide) after battering his way up there past parents as well. I could see the ineffectual mum texting and having coffee with another mum.

I boom. DO NOT PUSH THE LITTLE GIRL DOWN THE SLIDE. The trick is to get as many people aware of what’s happened as possible for maximum embarrassment for the parent and minimum blame on your part should people not know what’s gone on. When they do appear you menacingly say “you need to watch him” - again it’s vague enough to not be threatening but also it kind of is a threat. No one messes with you if you set the terms first.

I wish you could do shit like that these days.

You can but it’s more nuanced. You just mustn’t touch the child or implicate yourself in any way. Well done your mum!

You “gently” moved a child who was punching yours?

@Evilmorty that's genius!

OP it's not normal and you were right not to retaliate with the mother because you are your child's role model ♥️

Absolutely lolling at the suggestion of calling the police 😂

DH is really good at this. He just uses a very firm low and loud commanding voice to tell them to stop. The kids shit themselves at the sound of him :D

I think you did wonderfully well because I would have gone ape shit at the mother.

I'm talking 20 gallons of crazy in a 2 gallon bucket!

I would have pushed the little shit off my kid and then gave the family a mouthful. Then I'd have asked the owner of the centre if they have CCTV and called the police. Sorry but that isn't natural behaviour for children of that age, they have learnt that from somewhere.
I used to take my son to a centre once a week.
This one kid was always a little shit but one day too things too far, pushed a little one down a slide and then went down himself kicking this kid in the head in the process. The kid, understandably burst into tears. I took her over to her mum, told her exactly what happened and who the kid was. Suddenly bully boy is crying and his mother is consoling him as he tells her this kid head butted him!!! She was bloody tiny and he was at least a foot taller. Her mum and I both went over and gave this woman and her shit of a kid what for. I then told the manager exactly what had happened.