It's a softplay one...

[thefluffysideofgrey]

At softplay last week with two friends and their kids - all about three including my DS. All playing nicely in the toddler area, we're all keeping an eye on them. Another family arrive with two boys about 2-4. They enter the toddler area and start playing. All good.

A few minutes later the two boys push my DS to the floor and start punching him. My DS just looks shocked and scared, he curls up into a ball. I run over. One of the boys hitting him runs away, the other keeps punching my DS who is still curled in a ball. I (gently) pull the boy hitting my son away and hold him (struggling to hit my son) until his mother comes over. She does so and gives me a mouthful of abuse.

I say nothing to her, pick up my son and take him away for cuddles.

Did I do the right thing? I could'nt believe what I was seeing. Those two little boys were acting like something out of gansta movie, beating (punching and kicking) my son on the floor. One was laughing.

That is not normal behaviour, surely?

Did I do I do the right thing? Never seen behaviour like that before so no idea what you're supposed to do.

I think it might have been better to pick your child up rather than restrain hers (I know it was gentle) as that would give her nothing to go on in terms of having a go at you. I know kids can do crazy stuff but it does say something about their behaviour (and the parents) if they do this. So I'm not surprised she was so aggressive. However in the moment when your child is being hurt you're not thinking and I don't actually think there was a problem with what you did.

OP would have had to push past the child anyway to get to her son. I'm sick of s this untouchable bollocks. It's fair and reasonable to move another child if they are posing a threat to your own. What if the other boys had OPs son trapped in a corner? She can't magic him out.

You can see where the boys learnt bad behaviour, poor little things have no chance.

We stopped going to soft play, as we found lots of really aggressive children were allowed to run free rein and hurt others, I would see the parents ignoring it and continuing to drink coffee, look at their phones or talk to each other. It was almost as if they used soft play as a way to have a break from their own feral children. Far from supervising their children they would actively avoid 'noticing' their children punching and pushing other small children and toddlers.

We used the play park after that for a safe run around, rainy walks and went to an art class in the winter. I avoid soft play like the plague, they are unhygienic hell holes full of plastic and the noise levels are horrendous.

We stopped going to soft play, as we found lots of really aggressive children were allowed to run free rein and hurt others

Same here. It was just no fun.

I would have called the police and reported the family!
Call the police over a 3yo? Don't be silly.

You did the right thing OP. Don't spend ages over analysing it.

I once saw a similar soft play incident (I bloody hate softplay!) and the victim's Mum picked up her child and deliberately swung her child's legs towards the other child and hit him in the head!!

It's fair and reasonable to move another child if they are posing a threat to your own.

^^ This.

The same standard applies with adults. You can’t just go round grabbing people but you can defend yourself.

I would have called the police and reported the family!

Love it!!

Of course you did the right thing OP. There was nothing else you could have done.

What a hideous woman. You absolutely did the right thing OP. No wonder her two little thugs behave the way they do.

Did you say anything to the other parent?

What an awful family!

Well done for keeping your cool when the mother started being abusive. I'm not sure I'd have been able to.

Also YANBU in the slightest. It's really shocking to see such young children being so violent. I know when I had my DS was little I found soft play a bit of a battlefield, we only went a couple of times because DS was ill every time he went (full of fucking germs) and there were ALWAYS unsupervised children running riot.

I think the only other thing I would have done is give her a mouthful about her aggressive demon child and her shite parenting. I hope your DC is ok OP!!

I think you reacted the right way and I admire the way you managed to walk away without giving the other mum some choice words back. I don't know if I could have kept a comment back to her to myself in that situation.

I am very impressed you manage not to say anything to that anti-social nightmare, well done.

I would have gone to complain to the soft play management immediately. They need to be aware of the behaviour of these parents, and it's on them to kick them out and prevent other kids being hurt.

It's not normal for young children to randomly punch others. Problem is, without knowing their details, you cannot report to social services to raise it, unless you have the number plate of their car?
In any case, report to the soft play.

You were fine to remove the child; sometimes you’ve got to in order to get to yours.

You did the right thing.
I think you would also have been valid in telling off the other children. I believe it takes a community to raise a child and thankfully more people are now stepping up to have a word with children when they step out of line (as children always have since beginning of time). It's not right for a society to be frightened of speaking to children and all the responsibility to be on one person (mum). What if the mum was struggling to control them too. On her own?
I think this is worse in the south and leads to a very isolated insular society.

Not unreasonable at all. I go to soft play fairly often and have only occasionally had to intervene in these sorts of situations so I wouldn’t say it’s a common scenario.

Is it really that big a deal to touch another person’s child? I wouldn’t even hesitate to move them away from my child in that situation. I also pick children up if they fall over and help them out if they’re stuck. I picked up a little boy last week because he had fallen down inside a piece of equipment, banged his head and was stuck. He was crying for his mom but had wandered off quite far so I said I would help him look. He held out his hand so I held it because he was still very upset and seemed to want comfort. I’m a bit worried now that I shouldn’t have done that and have made him think it is ok to hold hands and walk off with a stranger? In that situation, he had been playing with my son and we were in a safely enclosed special play area which you need to be signed in and out of so no chance of abduction, but he obviously wouldn’t understand that. Nobody has ever complained but I am usually with my own children and look non-threatening.

Back on topic, it would be a good idea to report it to the soft play centre. They will ban families for that sort of behaviour.

You were completely right to pull the boy off. I would also have given the Mum a piece of my mind and / or spoken to the people running the place.

As you can see from the responses that seems to be par for course at soft play. Best avoided in future.

It's fair and reasonable to move another child if they are posing a threat to your own.

This, 100%

I will not tell off or touch another person's child, unless it is immediately required for the safety of my child. Where possible, I would speak to the parent, but there has been a couple of occasions where a child has been aggressive, and there was no parent in sight. I did similar to you, and held the child's hand one one occasion, and asked them where their mother was.

I would have also informed the soft play staff immediately: they will have a policy regarding behaviour, and it was also unacceptable for the mother to verbally abuse you.

Finally, I would be concerned about the children. If they are exhibiting such violent behaviour then it may be they they are exposed to violence at home.

I think you did precisely the right thing.

I've always completely and utterly blanked anyone who's started shouting abuse at me in situations like that. I pretend that I literally can't hear them and just carry on doing what I was doing (usually whilst walking rapidly away).

Of course, the second they touch me to try to get me to react, all bets are off, but it works for me.

Of course you're going to move the other child off your son, you're not just going to stand their and watch him hit your child

You did the right thing.
This is not par for the course at soft play.
And I'd suspect those boys have a tricky background - a bit like the kids who would try to put others in half-nelsons at baby gym.

I probably would also inform the soft play staff.

at calling the police on three year old gangsters.

You did the right thing. Softplay is shit

Yes absolutely you did the right thing. I would have reported them to the soft ball place too, and asked them to keep an eye on them.