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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Irrational fear taxi driver could harm us - aibu?

72 replies

gaptor · 11/11/2019 02:15

On Tues I will be landing in an Asian country at 3 in the morning. My best friend and I will then have a 4-hour taxi drive to our final destination - which is in a remote area. The fact that we will be driving through isolated/unfamiliar areas and travelling in the dark as 2 lone (young) females has me feeling extremely vulnerable. AIBU? My friend thinks I'm being paranoid. There really is no alternative and travel is essential (not really a holiday).

OP posts:
Original poster
gaptor · 11/11/2019 02:17

The Asian country isn't known for viewing women highly.

OP posts:
steff13 · 11/11/2019 02:18

I think you'll probably be fine, but could you rent a car and drive yourself?

fallfallfall · 11/11/2019 02:23

Is there a hotel in the airport? You could sleep a bit and travel by day? Could you message where you’re expected with the cabs details (vehicle, plates, driver ID card)?

Original poster
gaptor · 11/11/2019 02:31

Unfortunately we have to leave as soon as we land in order attend an important event

OP posts:
Episcomama · 11/11/2019 02:38

I would rent a car and drive myself.

BuzzShitbagBobbly · 11/11/2019 03:05

Ask the event people for recommendations for a car service. It will cost a bit more upfront but

  1. It's known
  2. The meter won't be "broken"
  3. Prebooking has an audit trail for you
  4. Offset the worry
BuzzShitbagBobbly · 11/11/2019 03:08

Also make sure you have a working mobile (roaming or local sim) and if you have any concerns, make a show of photographing car, driver, making loud calls to say you are en route and your "eta to meet you at

I'm sure the fear will be worse than the reality (I have done similar), but being prepared helps.

SummerWhisper · 11/11/2019 05:15

Make sure you sleep on the plane so that you are not sleeping in the taxi. Do exactly as Buzz recommended re photographs and send them to social media or WhatsApp and make sure the driver knows this.

So many people take pride in their work and their country that the driver could be the best part of your whole trip. I have met some amazing people on my travels who make the world a better place simply by being decent and wanting only for you to have the best experience.

However, follow your instincts. If the conversation becomes too personal re boyfriends, clothing, looks etc. then stay alert and keep the conversation polite and neutral. Keep everything of value securely in a money / passport belt. Read up on common-sense behaviour, such as wearing sensible shoes, not sandals, no flashy jewellery, a fake, cheap wedding ring etc.

Enjoy your trip. I hope your driver is safe and trustworthy.

WagtailRobin · 11/11/2019 05:17

This sounds very much like anxiety and the best thing to do with anxiety is not to feed it.

You will be with a friend, safety in numbers, believe you will be absolutely OK and repeatedly tell yourself that. The reality is out of millions who travel back and forth across the globe each year, very few come to harm.

You will be fine!

BillywilliamV · 11/11/2019 05:30

Because every taxi driver in every Asian country is just waiting to rape and rob a pair of Foreign women.
It’s a wonder any of them manage to make any money to support their families at all!

Mjlp · 11/11/2019 05:37

I think you're being paranoid. Where I live in the UK 99.99% of taxi drivers are from 'an Asian country.' They're very nice, polite and professional. I doubt they'd be any different in their home countries to here.

JonnyPocketRocket · 11/11/2019 05:42

Bit depressing that 77% of votes are YANBU. I seem to have landed in a country that isn't known for viewing men highly. Or is it just Asian men? They're the worst sort, eh? Hmm
To PPs suggesting she take a photo of the driver and put it on social media, what in the world gives her the right to do that? Brown people are also entitled to a private life, and to go about their daily work without some tourist posting photos of them on the internet.

Zero79me · 11/11/2019 05:48

It's not just the taxi driver. A gang could stop the cab on route.
I don't understand how an important event is in a remote area and nobody from that important event is helping you arrange to get there safely. You probably will be fine but I personally just wouldn't travel to unsafe, remote areas anyway.
Your phone may even not work there.

BellyButton85 · 11/11/2019 05:50

Fuck that for a bag of milky buttons!

CrumpetyTea · 11/11/2019 05:50

I'm not paranoid/anxious at all but I have had the experience in an Asian country , landing at 2 am as a 25 year old woman with another woman of same age of getting in a cab to our destination and being taken somewhere entirely different- apparently its a well known tourist scam (not violent crime/abduction but attempt to take you to their hotel and also to have access to you to try and sell you tourist stuff). the way to avoid is to prebook from reputable firm and get them to meet you at the airport. Noting any taxi numbers/texting them to a friend is sensible in any country

Jellybeansincognito · 11/11/2019 05:51

I think area is needed here for a true opinion.
Where is it op?

FridalovesDiego · 11/11/2019 05:52

My 17 year old went alone to a country in Asia and felt very safe taking taxis. What are the alternatives? Can you drive yourself as others have suggested?

Mumdiva99 · 11/11/2019 05:55

Have a pre-booked transfer arranged. Then you will have someone meeting you with a board with your name. Call the hotel where you are staying and ask of they can do this for you. The first time I arrived in Mumbai I had a driver prearranged. I was glad I did as not knowing the city or where I was staying and the drive at times was very dark with no street lights it gave me a little peace of mind.

FredaFrogspawn · 11/11/2019 05:55

What happened to Crumpety also happened to me. I pretended my husband was visiting for a police conference and got cross - they finally took me to my destination.

You will be a lot safer if you have pre-booked a can. Make sure that’s the one you get into

SonEtLumiere · 11/11/2019 05:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OrangeBuddha · 11/11/2019 05:56

The event can't be more important than your safety. Travel in daylight with pre booked car options & a working phone. Asian country or anywhere else. It's just common sense.

FredaFrogspawn · 11/11/2019 06:00

Sorry - posted too soon.

I was tricked into believing this was the one I had booked. At the point of booking, make sure you make it clear to the company that you consider them responsible for your safety and request a very trusted driver?

And all those posters trying to shame op into thinking her concerns are racist - fuck you. There’s nothing wrong with asking about safety when travelling in a country with a poor record of safety for women who are unaccompanied by men.

Hagbeth · 11/11/2019 06:05

It depends on what country, Asia is big. I’ve been with family in India several times and always had a private driver. My friend (western) who is married to a man of Pakistani origin would never go anywhere without a trusted escort even in Lahore.

zebra22 · 11/11/2019 06:09

Which country?

I would prebook a car

PaulHollywoodsSexGut · 11/11/2019 06:11

When you’re in ANY foreign country you feel vulnerable to a degree: because it’s foreign, different, not what you’re used to, different - so your guard will be up a bit.

Foreign country + foreign language + nighttime + a four hour cab ride + no prior knowledge of the route = YANBU

Stop inferring she’s racist. I’d wager she’d feel very similar if it was the Outback or the Deep South