Irrational fear taxi driver could harm us - aibu?

[gaptor]

On Tues I will be landing in an Asian country at 3 in the morning. My best friend and I will then have a 4-hour taxi drive to our final destination - which is in a remote area. The fact that we will be driving through isolated/unfamiliar areas and travelling in the dark as 2 lone (young) females has me feeling extremely vulnerable. AIBU? My friend thinks I'm being paranoid. There really is no alternative and travel is essential (not really a holiday).

Actually the place I feel least safe in a taxi is in England.
Which Asian country is it. It is a big place. Some Asian countries are far safer than the UK. It would help if you told us which one.

No way would I do that

Which country is it, OP?

I have just been in a UK city for work. When I prebooked a taxi, i received a text when it was on its way telling me the make and registration of the car that was about to pick me up so that I could check I was getting into the right one, and another text telling me it had arrived. The texts also had the driver's first name.

If you are able to prebook anything which means there is an electronic record of your journey and who is picking you up like that, I would do that. It was incredibly reassuring.

An “Asian” country is too general a description for anyone to give you any advice. You need to name the country to get advice. For example I can tell you that in Malaysia and Vietnam I travelled by taxi a lot and always felt safe.

How have you booked taxi?

Do you speak the language of this country?

Can you book a car service through your hotel ?

DD and I were just in a similar situation and we were also cautioned about the meter being broken scam. She tended to follow journey on google maps on her phone for peace of mind.

Taxi drivers can potentially scam in any country. DH took an internal flight to go to head office, a very familiar journey. The taxi driver assumed he was foreign from his accent and started driving the most convoluted back routes... DH realised something was off and called him out on it.

When travelling through Asia we took many taxis. We travelled through south India by taxi as we'd been somewhat ill, and had difficulty knowing our travel arrangements far enough in advance to book decent train tickets, and were done with cattle class and basic sleeper trains. The only taxi issue we had in months was the long-way-round trip in Chengdu, China.

Sharing your destintation may give more specific help. Waiting until daylight and resting first if possible would help you feel better and more prepared.

There's no need for paranoia, but sensible levels of caution are wise and reading up on sensible travel advice. I was careful about the clothing I took with me, no strappy tops... but found in India that some of my t-shirtd were too close fitting and I needed a couple more baggy tops to wear. Attitudes can vary around particulary urban/ rural areas. Some regions may be more relaxed than others.

I don't think it's unreasonable to be concerned - I freak out about going in taxis in this country, though less because I think they're going to murder me and more because they are such terrible drivers!

People have given you great advice but it’s true that a lot of it may be moot unless you say what country you’re going to. And a lot of people are asking about what taxi you have pre-booked - you HAVE pre-booked? You weren’t just going to rock up and ask a taxi to drive you four hours at 3am, were you? Because yes, that would be enough to make someone nervous. They could just say no. Asia is a HUGE place with a wide variety of countries, from those that would be considered “first world” to those that are veritable war zones. In some, you would be a numpty to worry about taking a taxi, and in others, it would be a Death Car a Go Go. I really recommend you say what country and I’m sure there will be MNers who can give you much more specific advice. But it would be foolish to just say, “No, YABU, don’t worry, be happy,” when maybe it’s somewhere you should be worried, and there are location-dependent things you can do to make it a lot safer.

What country is it? I don't see a reason for being so coy. Asia is huge and very varied. If you say which country it is then someone on here may actually be able to recommend a taxi company.

But in any case - pre-book the taxi. Do NOT rock up at the airport expecting the next guy in the taxi line to take you on a four hour drive.

What country?

Can the people (relatives?) who summoned you there not send a trusted driver/taxi?

I lived in a country where taxis were not safe and always organised transport for people visiting me!

Whether fear is rational or not depends.
Pakistan and driving to Kashmir- YANBU because you’re going to a war zone
China and driving to see the Panda Research Center (and most other Asian places)-YABU just prebook a car from a good company.

The organisers of the 'big event' can organise a car or the hotel you are staying in can.
As others have said which Asian country? I live in Asia and just like when I lived in Europe, there are some places I travel completely freely, others I take more precautions. Depending on where you are going makes a big difference on advice.

I have a lot of friends who travel. Whilst most get along fine, a few have been in some really seedy situations and one was almost raped. The OP isn’t being unreasonable by being anxious after we have a constant feed of bad news on the daily.

I get anxious about being in a taxi over here in the UK! I still get them because I can’t live my life in fear but I understand where the anxiety comes from.

I think you should say the country so people with experience their can actually advice you.

I would preebok a taxi from a reputable company rather than turn up and just get into one parked at the airport.

Also I know this may seem stupid but if you and the car, constantly call someone and update them on where you are (out loud) so the driver knows that there are people expecting you and if they try anything that people will realise.

I’d find someone through friends or on mumsnet, from that country or who knows it really well, and get them to give me advice. Chances are they might know people too.

Agree with PPs.
Pre-book taxis with reputable company.
Ensure your phone will work abroad.
Take 'holiday' pictures of your driver and car and say outloud about posting on Facebook.
Have some pepper spray/perfume on hand.

I’ve travelled SE Asia a fair bit & always get a driver to pick me up from the airport & take me almost everywhere for as long as I’m in that country. People will recommend on TA where you can read the reviews, you can contact the driver yourself & get a price .... I’ve never had a problem doing it this way.

I've travelled a lot in India on my own and would always, always prebook a cab with the input of where I was staying.

Download an app like Life360 so someone back at home can track you. Reassuring.

It really depends on where you are going. In some Asian countries I wouldn’t hesitate to flag down a cab on the street. In others I wouldn’t leave the house without either a large group of friends or a male escort. If you are going to see someone can’t you ask them to meet you at the airport?

I don't think the OP is being racist as some are inferring ... I know loads of people who take a picture of the taxi number plate and even the driver !!! It's a safety thing.

Like PPs, I've also been taken to a different location rather than where I wanted to go. It was purely an attempt to sell me stuff from their friends' business. It also happened to my male colleague so it's not just something that affects women.

You're being too vague for any of us to give reasonable advice tbh. I've travelled lots and depending on where it is impacts how I'd dress, whether I'd take extra money to be able to pay people off (if necessary) whether I'd take a satellite phone (because there's no signal) whether I'd hire a translator/body-guard.

So your fears may be justifiable but able to be mitigated. Or your fears may be irrational. It's impossible to say.

Foreign country + foreign language + nighttime + a four hour cab ride + no prior knowledge of the route = YANBU

I lived many years in a country that didn't view women highly - or to be more precise, many men didn't view women highly at all, but some were more normal, meaning strange men could be a dangerous lucky dip. I spoke the language and knew my way around and I would never have done 4 hours in a taxi with a driver that wasn't known to the organisers or very well to me personally.

Maybe your friend has been there before and done a lot of solo travel in that country though?

Like others said it's not necessarily about sexual assault, which is a risk, it's about ending up in the middle of nowhere, and being asked for money. Or arriving at a cousin's house for a meal along the way that takes AGES...that you then need to pay a lot for. Or arriving at a shop that you need to buy things you don't want from or he won't carry on the journey. There don't need to be any weapons or direct threats. You're completely in his hands. And of course, when you're in these situations, you don't know what's going to happen next. Once you're in the car, you don't know what's going to happen until you arrive at your destination. If the car stops en route, you are completely at his (it's never a female driver) mercy.

It's a very vulnerable situation to be in.

And I'm betting that in this country two women of your age would not take a 4hr taxi ride through remote areas in the middle of the night. And their friends and relatives wouldn't suggest they did.

So it's a dangerous lucky dip. You may very well be totally fine. But if things go wrong you're not going to be able to respond in the same way you would in your own country because you won't know where you are, who to trust, or how to speak the language.

And anyway, do taxi drivers want to drive 4 hours away?!

The important-event organisers or venue must have drivers they know of, or contacts who do. Pay more and use one of them. It's not a cast iron guarantee, but you take yourself out of the dangerous lucky dip then.

I'm going to India and the taxi has already been booked by someone more familiar with the area