Do people tell you that you're pretty when you're 49?

[wishiwasinbarbados]

Just that really.

@wishiwasinbarbados

I think 'pretty' is probably better reserved for younger women. Don't know why sorry. Calling a middle aged woman pretty seems odd. (JMO.)

I know (as a middle aged woman - late 40s,) I get ignored and have doors slammed in my face by men of my own generation... (Aged 40 to 55 ish.) They just look through me and ignore me, but they coo over and chat up women mid 30s and younger... They think these women are interested, but on speaking to them, the younger women are repulsed by the idea of being with a man as old as their dad!

Young men (mid 30s and younger,) are nice and respectful to me, and so are older men (over 60.) But men my own age are really rude to me. I guess I'm repugnant to them. To much younger men I am probably their mum's age (so that's why I get respect,) and to men 60+ I am a 'younger woman!'

I'm not bad looking - Maybe a 5.5 out of 10. DH thinks I'm gorgeous. Says I am as beautiful as the day he met me nearly 30 years ago!

As a pp said, it's a relief to not be gawped at and groped, and hit on all the time, (like when I was 16 y.o to my late 20s.) But occasionally, it does get me down that I haven't had a man show the vaguest bit of interest in me for some 15 years. I think 'am I that unattractive now?'

But I have heard several women a decade younger than me, (38-40,) who are quite attractive, who say the same..... men don't pay attention to them anymore. So I don't feel so bad then!

I think a lot of women claim they don't care what people think of them, but deep down most are secretly chuffed if someone compliments their appearance and says they are attractive, or look young for their age.

I mean, if any woman said they wouldn't care if someone said 'your husband's gorgeous and you're punching above your weight! I can't believe you're the same age, you look much older than him,' I would call bullshit.

No WAY would any woman not be hurt and offended, no matter how much they tried to insist they wouldn't care.....

Yes, it becomes ''attractive'' at 49. If we're lucky.

I'm trying to look healthy, happy and stylish.

Of course, you can be pretty at any age. I know someone who's 90 and extremely pretty (she's very glamorous and looks no older than early 70s)

Wrath of God?!

I know what you mean

DH always says I am pretty, almost 50. I maybe don't appreciate it enough?

I have a friend who tells me I look like a model (hahaha) but then tries to sell me botox and fillers

My mum also tells me I am pretty and slim (size 14 I am and look like a mass murderer if I forget to smile)

As does MIL

I think I am lucky that I have always been surrounded by family and friends who often say nice things.

Wish that kind of low level positive support to everyone

I'm 51, and a group of street drinkers (both sexes) told me I had beautiful hair the other day. Does that count?

I'm not 49 yet but as no one has called me pretty in my life so far that I can recall, I'd imagine not in my case, no.

I have been told that I'm the ugliest person they've ever seen and that I look like a man in drag, so pretty would come as a surprise. tbh.

I am 45 and I was chatting to an older woman at work the other day and I mentioned the number of children I had. She was shocked and said I didn't look old enough to have one. She said I had beautiful skin with no lines. God bless her eyesight.

Muuuuuum I have also been called those things

It says a lot about the people who called us that, but nothing about us or how we look.

That was just people trying to hurt you for whatever pathetic reason. Honestly, it says nothing about you

DH thinks I'm beautiful.
DD (22) is very honest so I choose to believe her when she says I'm getting better with age.
DN (age 5) told me that I'm pretty a couple of days ago, then tried to persuade me to let her use straighteners on my hair

Embarrassingly someone did say this to me recently. Another girl said I looked like a china doll. Presumably that's a sort of compliment.

Saying that I have always looked ridiculously young for my age which isn't the bonus you'd think. No boys my age were ever interested in me, let alone older boys. Middle aged men were, but they were creepy. People at work thought, what's a 12 year old doing looking after patients, and on and on.

So maybe the bane of my life is finally worthwhile

@littlehappyhippo, it's so true. It's men our OWN age who are the most repulsed by us. I've wondered if that is because they think we will assume any small amount of interest shown by them to us will give us the wrong idea! ie, that holding a door open for us would lead us to think we had a chance ! or that we'd read too much in to a simple pleasant chat because they were age-appropriate. From the moment I left my X, the only men who've been interested in relationships have been younger than I am. I didn't see that as likely! I thought that if men my own age were SO repulsed by me then younger men would be too. Is it that men our own age fear that that's it forever? A woman their own age, if it works out, that's it, no more chances with a YOUNG woman. Whereas men younger than us aren't seeing their own mortality through us. Friends have had similar experiences on line.

I was out with 2 younger friends last night who both told me I’m gorgeous but it felt like they were just being kind as I was moaning about looking old. I used to seemingly turn heads when I was younger and never short of male attention but now I feel pretty invisible. I’m in my late 40s, my husband says I look good for my age, which feels like a slap across the face but maybe I’m just needy!

Not to mention being mistaken for my daughters sister, much to my DHs embarrassment as they thought he was our dad!

Dh tells me I am but I think he is slightly biased and might need an eye test 😂😂

My friend is in her early 50s. My brother and I bumped into her one day, my brother is early 30s. After she walked off my brother told me how 'absolutely stunning she is' and why hadn't I introduced him to her before.

I sent her a text to tell her how gorgeous she is. I honestly hadn't seen her that way until my brother pointed it out.

They used to.. but 67 is a whole new ball game

I was always told I was pretty when I was young and attracted a lot of attention. Now am 48 and I doubt anyone thinks I’m pretty apart from my mum and my DH (who says I look the same as I always did). People treat me the age I am as I have those flaming wrinkles

One of the porters at work said I’m very pretty at 52. I took it gracefully rather than report him for harassment.

As a pp said, it's a relief to not be gawped at and groped, and hit on all the time, (like when I was 16 y.o to my late 20s.) But occasionally, it does get me down that I haven't had a man show the vaguest bit of interest in me for some 15 years.

I'm going to be irritating and tell you that at 45, I get a fair amount of (unwanted) male attention. I think it's because I'm confident in myself now and know what suits me clothes and hair-wise.

I think I get more now than I did in my 20's, probably because I don't give a shit!

I’d rather be told I am attractive than pretty. My 11 year old dd is pretty but after mid 20’s pretty just doesn’t sound right.

Pretty is a young person's word. Attractive is what I am called - at 66.

Not a stealth boast:
I'm a lot older than 49 and a lady of a similar age to me in my hobby group told me I was a beautiful woman. I was stunned and just said, of course I'm not and flapped my hands about.
Ungraciously.

"You look great" is what I hear when I've made an effort. I get "that's a nice dress"

Mere.

I'm 58 and often told I'm pretty/stunning/beautiful.

I was an exceptionally ugly teenager (buck teeth, acne, greasy hair) and had real confidence issues until my 40s. I'm at a good stage in my life now (and lost so many close friends and relatives that I know how lucky I am to have health and happiness)

I think confidence and not giving a fuck have a lot to do with how people perceive your appearance.