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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

SIL baby name

131 replies

Springtime3 · 10/11/2019 19:58

AIBU - I have a 6 month old Annabella, we call her Bella for short which I’m sure will get shortened to Belle. My sister in law is pregnant, due 04/2020 she’s just told me her girls names is Belle! I was speechless when she told me I just think It’s too similar ?? Aibu to feel angry over this?!?

OP posts:
wibdib · 10/11/2019 23:51

Talk at length about how sweet it will be to have your Belle and her little Belle, and that Won't it be great for her to have a big cousin at school with the same name and won't they have lots of fun confusing people, and won't it be funny if she ends up being the tallest one even if she's always known as little Belle (assuming that they might have the same surname if SIL is dh's sis)...

Just keep on being gushy about how cute it will be to have a Belle and a little Belle and that you're so chuffed that they have chosen to copy you rather than go for a name of their own...

And hopefully by the time the baby is born it will either be a he or they will have decided to chose something else!

If their son calls your dd Belle and you call her Bella, start to drop a few Belle's into the mix too in case she thinks that she can use Belle as you are using Bella.

Elle7rose · 11/11/2019 00:12

I have a cousin who basically has the same nickname as I do with the addition of one letter- it just gives us an extra connection!

You could always use the full name when around your SIL's baby and then use 'Belle' at home/in other situations.

HiJenny35 · 11/11/2019 00:56

If you don't like it start calling your child by her actual name. So far you want to keep 3 similar names. You don't own the name she can use whatever name she wants yabu to be angry.

VanyaHargreeves · 11/11/2019 01:21

I agree with others that this a recent way to get offended

I have two cousins whose mothers were sisters who have the same first name.

It is a very ordinary name.

Nobody even discussed it as odd at the time

Now it's a huge deal to have the same name as a friends child let alone family

AndNoneForGretchenWieners · 11/11/2019 01:53

People are strange. My ex's nieces are called Cherie, Keri and Cherylyn. All sisters. Bella and Belle will have their names mixed up by their grandparents, but are there any grandparents (or even parents) alive who don't go "Bella-Belle-Stuart-Tracy-Fido- whatever your name is" at some point?!

IamWaggingBrenda · 11/11/2019 02:09

Yes, YABU to be angry. She can call her baby whatever she wants. My DB and my cousin have the same name. My aunt loved my DB so much, she named her own son after him. My DM and I have the same name. What possible difference can it make?

LimeRedBanana · 11/11/2019 02:33

Yes, it's nuts. Of course it is.

But the only person who will look ridiculous is your SIL, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Coyoacan · 11/11/2019 02:40

I always loved the name Johanna (pronounced Yohana) and a year before my daughter was born, my bil had a boy they called Johann. You'd think we live in Germany, but this was in Mexico, so the name Johanna went out the window.

FriedasCarLoad · 11/11/2019 02:42

A little annoying, but perhaps she had her heart set on 'Belle' long before you had your little girl? She could have loved the name for years and stuck with it

I think it still isn’t ok. I had my heart set on my niece’s name, but my brother had a daughter first. So I chose one of the many other 1000s of names available instead.

Topseyt · 11/11/2019 02:58

This wouldn't be something I would bother getting het up about.

My mother and her cousin had daughters of the same name (but different spellings) within 10 days of each other back in 1969. Not an issue at all then and never has been since either.

Mummyoflittledragon · 11/11/2019 04:00

I wouldn’t get upset about this, no. Odds on the girls will like it.

Witchend · 11/11/2019 04:11

No Annabellas who shortened their name to Bella then shortened it to Belle.

If you are so bothered start calling her Anna.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 11/11/2019 05:06

If you wanted to call her Belle then that's what you should have called her....I can see why you would as Annabella is a bit of a mouth full and a bit "made up" for many tastes.....is this a case of name regret which is why you call her the shortened form???

Mjlp · 11/11/2019 05:09

YABU. You don't own the name Bella. Your SIL can call her daughter whatever she wants.

Countryescape · 11/11/2019 05:15

My question is, if you call your child Bella, why didn’t you name her Bella not Annabella. ? It’s so weird how people do this. Why have a name that you never use!

Magicmama92 · 11/11/2019 07:27

I would maybe talk to them.about it perhaps say it's quite close to your daughters nickname. But you called your daughter Annabelle not bella or belle. So I think you may have to start using her full name or Anna if it bothers you. This is why I picked a short name. Maybe she thought about how she loved your daughters name but tried to pick something slightly different. I can understand why your a little miffed but youd have more right to be angry if your daughters full name was bella not Annabelle good luck

Magicmama92 · 11/11/2019 07:29

Annabella sorry my phone auto corrected teach me not to look before posting.

Freewanderer · 11/11/2019 07:35

First world problem. I really wouldn’t give this a second thought.

NotaWagon · 11/11/2019 07:40

How do you know it is a first world problem? Poor people still have boundaries, etiquette, traditions, consideration, communication, feelings

Idea86 · 11/11/2019 07:40

I'd shorten Annabella to Anna. I find Bella is usually reserved for Isabella. Therefore I wouldn't be upset with them calling their child Belle.

Rememberallball · 11/11/2019 07:46

To me it’s a bit close especially given your cousin’s son calls your DD Belle and living so close to each other. On the other hand, it’s a real compliment to your choice of name that they’re considering a name so similar for their, as yet unborn DD.

Some families do use the same name across generations. My DH has an uncle Steve named after his father (DH grandfather) he also has a brother and cousin called Steven/Steve, a nephew, a brother in law and the cousin also has a son called Steven. Apart from the uncle and the late grandfather they are all known as Ste and it’s just accepted that that is a thing for his family - but we deliberately chose boys names that aren’t used in either family when our twins were born in the summer (though their middle names come from my family history)

Morgomargot · 11/11/2019 08:07

There are literally thousands of possible names out there. YANBU to be irritated by this. Your SIL is being a dick. I think those saying to OP "oh so you own Annie, Anna, Bella, Belle and Annabella" are being a bit mean and missing the point. No one owns a name but your SIL is being very unoriginal and a bit rude. I'd speak to my DB about it and see where he stands. He might not like the idea and will veto the name anyway.

GertiMJN · 11/11/2019 08:08

I find the intense drive for "uniqueness" in naming children quite sad. It's as if connections and commonality are not valued.

I'm not saying parents shouldn't choose the name they want, or should restrict themselves to a prescribed list of some sort. It's the extreme reactions to situations like this that make me feel sad.

How does a child lose out by having a name that's similar to their cousin's?

GertiMJN · 11/11/2019 08:11

Uniqueness was probably the wrong word but Im sure people know what I mean.

Whoops75 · 11/11/2019 08:28

To use Belle you should have called dd Annabelle not Annabella.

Stick with Anna or Bella, you could use
Ella as a nn and they wouldn’t be so similar.