is his ex taking the piss ??

[tryingtokeepcool]

I have been with my partner now for 3 years we live together with my children and he has children from a previous relationship whom he seems every weekend, however his ex won't allow him to have the children at our home so he has to take them elsewhere every week which can get a little expensive if he can't take them to his friends or relatives as he has to pay for hotels. he pays his maintenance every week but she constantly asks for more its like every time we save a bit of money she always has some sort of Emmergency and were supposed to bail her out, every week without fail an hour or so before he is due to drop the kids back she txts him a shopping list and expects him to pay out more money and do her shopping when she lives right next to a shop if the items where for the children I don't think I would mind so much but when she is asking for sanitry towels I feel this is asking for to much altho I think everything she asks for is too much. is she taking the piss or am I being too sensitive ??

Remember your husband had children with her. He's not taken her to court over refusal to let him see his children. Just above the cm is not much I'm guessing? Why is it assumed that the rp has to have it all sorted?

I never understand the amount of sympathy a dad gets for leaving his children and starting over and the parent who is left to deal with everything gets all the abuse.

You shouldn’t assume that it’s always the dad that has left the children as in this case that is not what happened. I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my post and offer their opinions my partner has also been reading all the comments and agrees that action needs to be taken even if it means he does not see his kids for a while we plan to call a solicitor this week to get some more advice and take the next steps to have something sorted properly.

Glad to hear he's taking action. Cut off her gravy train, court order for contact and DSCs stay at your place.

She sounds awful, poor kids.

I’ll go against the grain here and ask if there is a reason the kids are out?

It might be that your DP has form for being a bit of a lax parent at home. I know my Ex is and he dumps the kids on ILs who then don’t supervise them and let their kids bully them. And one of our kids is very vulnerable so I won’t let that happen.

So I ‘encourage’ Ex to have them out and anyway the kids are booked in weekend sports activities. Which is what he does with them. I pay though.

But of course he tells everyone I’m a controlling witch.

Although getting shopping is cheeky.

no he does not dump his kids on other people he’s not a lax parent at all. The times his children have come to our home we have done our separate things with mine and his kids so that they still get 1-1 time with him and then we all have dinner together of an evening

Fair enough. What does she ask him to do with them while they are out? Do they have activities they need to go to?

I’m sorry you’re going through this OP! My DP and I have been living together for 4 years now with our own DD and another baby on the way. We are due to get married next year. His son is 7 and from a very brief relationship. He’s not unwanted but wasn’t planned and DP didn’t have a say. I do kind of get the point PP is trying to get across when men leave the family home and start another. I’ve seen it happen a fair bit. The difference here is my children with DP were planned and are the product of a loving relationship. I’ve never met his son’s Mum so don’t expect her to be comfortable with her son staying in my home but it’s getting very tedious DP staying at his parents EO weekend. It will be even more tedious when our newborn is here and I’m alone from Friday through to Sunday twice a month. He works full time for Christ sake! I think it’s very selfish to take a father away from their family for your own satisfaction. Also very selfish to deny her son the chance of meeting/spending time with his siblings. If we didn’t have our own children I’d understand but I know what I’m doing so her son would be safe in our home. I think she does it out of spite tbh and sounds like that’s what’s happening in your situation too OP

@searchingforlight why hasn't your DO applied for a court order? It's ridiculous he is letting the situation and his DS is missing out on having a loving relationship with his younger (half) siblings!!

Good luck with the solicitor OP!

Yes... good luck with court order. You all need this in place. As to more money, if he pays more than he needs to already then no more money should be spent , unless for the children.