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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think she's in the UK

358 replies

Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 20:58

Anyone who has a bit of tech knowledge greatly appreciated here....

My friend is abroad. Been there since Weds due back tomorrow morning. I've called her mobile a couple of times, got the international dial tone, as per normal.

Today, called at lunch. International tone still. She's told me again she's flying back in the morning. I called her just now to double check flight time and it's ringing with a standard UK ringtone like the phone is in the UK?

Does this mean she's in the UK now? She's a really good long term friend with no reason at all to fib. There's literally no reason why she'd tell me she was back tomorrow morning instead of tonight (it's like 14hrs difference) so can this happen by accident? Google is not helping.

I know she's on EE. Could the phone have picked up a UK network out there (Cyprus) and that's why the dial tone has changed this evening.

I hope this is a common occurrence with phones, I'm just a bit "hmmmmm" because since it's rung like it's in the UK she hasn't read my WhatsApps or returned the call.

Please tell me you've had experience of this to put my mind at ease. I know it's really none of my business at the end of the day, but I'd like to know if she could still be legitimately out there and it's just the phone playing silly buggers.

Thank you in advance...

OP posts:
SandunesAndRainclouds · 09/11/2019 23:09

*ring tone 🙄

Justaboy · 09/11/2019 23:09

FWIW called a French landline today and it rang with a British ringtone! Never known it to do that before and the French people were deffo in France!..

Beveren · 09/11/2019 23:10

FFS, there is literally nothing in OP's posts that suggests she is stalkerish, weird, or any of the other offensive adjectives people are hurling at her. On the other hand, there are some deeply unpleasant people responding. Take a good hard look at yourselves, people.

Original poster
Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 23:10

@RhiWrites

That's what I got when I googled as well. That's what confused me. I thought if the phone was off, it wouldn't ring at all. Just go straight to voicemail. Neither a UK or international tone. And if on, should give ring and the international tone as it had done earlier today. Hence me asking if anyone had ever encountered anything to the contrary.

I was entirely unaware that it could still be abroad, on, and randomly switch to a UK ringtone. But as a PP mentioned she's had the exact same thing happen, I presume that's what's happened here. It's just weird that it's in addition to her not reading her WhatsApp since 6pm. Weird, but seemingly a coincidence.

@badbananabad I know Grin some folks need to step away from the gin.

OP posts:
Windbeneathmybingowings · 09/11/2019 23:11

FFS, there is literally nothing in OP's posts that suggests she is stalkerish, weird, or any of the other offensive adjectives people are hurling at her.

Did you miss the dancing on a secret date in London scenario?

ffswhatnext · 09/11/2019 23:14

Sometimes if you're blocked it can ring first before it goes to voicemail. Not sure why. I've had voicemails asking me why I am choosing to reject. It's not I have blocked them 😆 Yes I unblock them, remind them why and block again if I can be bothered.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 09/11/2019 23:14

What I'd presume is that she's landed in London and then fancied going out for the night, or gone on a date perhaps, staying in London for the night then acting like she's only just arrived back when she wakes up tomorrow, and saying something like she's popped into the city can I pick her up from there.

You surmissed all this from a ringtone and we are the weirdos. Ok Confused

Original poster
Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 23:16

Did you miss the dancing on a secret date in London scenario?

Did you fail to see the sarcasm in that being a more likely scenario than the ridiculous suggestion that I obviously thought she was home already but going to journey back to the airport just to appear like she needed a lift home Grin

Mumsnet 2019. Deary me.

OP posts:
ffswhatnext · 09/11/2019 23:16

6pm here, 8pm there.
Could have been grabbing dinner, doing the last-minute rush around before going to bed.

The time to panic is tomorrow. Then if nothing, contact her parents. And I don't mean first thing tomorrow.

over50andfab · 09/11/2019 23:17

OP you’ve had quite a few posters now saying the ring tone could be either international or U.K. while the other person is abroad so I think you have your answer.

Why don’t you phone your friend’s parents tomorrow morning first thing as if they are the ones who your friend thinks is picking her up, they should know more than you re flight details. Other than that, you must know which airport she’s arriving at and there can’t be that many flights arriving around lunchtime so you can track flight time and whether there’s a delay.

Wauden · 09/11/2019 23:18

Dancing?...

ffswhatnext · 09/11/2019 23:19

Other peoples way of thinking about things is the only reason I use forums. Even the ones that make sense can be delivered in a way that can be funny.

Shoppingwithmother · 09/11/2019 23:22

@littlehappyhippo

Your theory about the text messages to your friend doesn’t work. If you text someone on a UK number and they are abroad, you do not have to pay any more than the standard text charge. They get charged the extra to receive it.

Windbeneathmybingowings · 09/11/2019 23:22

No I missed that obvious sarcasm Hmm I just thought you were a nutter.

What I’m not missing however is the attempt to undermine several posters who think you sounded mildly deranged, by tutting and going on about how you can’t even ask a simple question about how to stalk your friends these days without being questioned by new MN.

Original poster
Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 23:27

@over50andfab

I'm just going on the assumption that she's fallen asleep. She wouldn't ask to be picked up, ending the conversation that I'd get back to her once I'd confirmed childcare, then deliberately not respond for the rest of the evening.

I do know the airport, and can't see an incoming flight around lunchtime, so there's not a lot more I can do without her input. I'm not going to bother her parents, she'll be in touch tomorrow either way.

OP posts:
AutumnCrow · 09/11/2019 23:30

I want to know what you saw at her house, OP. That's all I'm here for.

Was it torch light moving from room to room? A massive house elf stretched out on her bed? Tommy Mallet in the conservatory jigging around to S Club 7? I think we should be told.

Original poster
Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 23:34

Timmy Mallet?

OP posts:
Dilkhush · 09/11/2019 23:34

OP my DH used to travel a lot. I think that it was only reliably the local dialling tone if I rang a landline. His UK mobile quite often sounded the same as usual, though it was noticeably slower to connect. This was before mobile phones boosted their signal with WiFi, though, so I'm not sure you'd even get the slight delay any more. If she's a good friend I don't think I'd worry about this myself.

Keepmewarm · 09/11/2019 23:43

I love that people are so shocked at a five hour round trip to the airport to pick up a friend. It would take a lot longer from where I am and op is doing it as a favour for her friend. She said her friend has done it for her before.

PollyFeather · 09/11/2019 23:45

I have spotted where you've gone wrong OP! And that not spelling out every single detail for the hard of thinking in your first post

Had you put ' My friend has asked me to collect her from the airport. It's last minute and means I have to arrange childcare to do it and travel 5 hours in total. She has form for being a bit sneaky and I've rung her mobile this evening to finalise arrangements and the phone rings out with a UK tone. When eve chatted in the week, it's always been an abroad ringtone. As I said, she has form for being a little sneaky and I'm wondering if she's come back early and arranged a date in London and muggins here is a convenient taxi. So my question is, could a mobile ring with a uk time if you're abroad?'

.... your answers would have been VERY different Grin

strawberrieshortcake · 09/11/2019 23:46

@dontgobaconmyheart
You’ve got it spot on. Seems such a fuss over nothing. You didn’t even have concrete plans to pick her up and she’s not answering her phone, just ignore it. Instead of watching her house and overthinking the entire situation due to a ringtone.

This is why you came off as weird.

I am waiting for you to say this friend is actually your DP and that is the only situation in which you are being reasonable.

JosephineDeBeauharnais · 09/11/2019 23:46

You beat me to it Benevolent. I was coming on to say the same thing - it's not a friend, it's the DH and OP suspects an affair. OP doesn't want to get sucked in to all that LTB business that usually follows declaration of suspicions on here, but has now got sucked in anyway because the spurious question is so bonkers.

So, OP thinks DH has arrived back early and snuck away for a night of passion in London with the floozie (and all his luggage). His parents are in on it and the only way OP can confirm her hunch is to challenge him on the basis of the ringtone. That's EXACTLY the sort of thing my crazy jealous XH would think up. EXACTLY that.

Moondust001 · 09/11/2019 23:50

Reda some of page 1, some of page 8. I hope I don't have any friends like this. Who needs stalkers?

Original poster
Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 23:53

I love that people are so shocked at a five hour round trip to the airport to pick up a friend.

Not people. The "stalker" crew Grin

It's more like 6/7 hours in reality. Fastest run I've ever done was 2.5hrs there. That's 5 hours round trip, factoring a 5 minute flawless pickup at the airport. Once you've allowed for any delays at passport control, luggage collection, actually finding each other at the drop off /collection zone etc you can add on anything up to an hour. Grab a coffee from the services on the way back, hit a bit of roadworks, and all of a sudden it's a 7hr palava.

Don't you just love living in the buttcrack of nowhere Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
Courtney555 · 09/11/2019 23:56

She has form for being a bit sneaky and I've rung her mobile this evening to finalise arrangements and the phone rings out with a UK tone.

Which would be fine, except, well it's the exact opposite. As I've spelt out. She's far from sneaky.

OP posts:
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