To want to stop buying these children Christmas presents because they never say Thank You?

[ManonBlackbeak]

Every Christmas I buy a present for my goddaughter and her siblings, I also buy my goddaughter a birthday present each year.

Goddaughter is now 10, and I can honestly say that in all the years Ive been buying for them Ive never once received a Thank You. Ever. I should add that I don't expect an extravagent, long handwritten letter or card but just a text or even a message to say that they've received the gifts would be nice. Over Christmas I will see them personally and they never say thank you to me, or anyone else for that matter. I therefore know its not personal and just a general lack of manners because their parents havent instilled it in them, but it really irks me.
DM made me personally phone everyone who'd bought me a present to say thank you every Christmas morning, and though that's also a bit extreme I just think an acknowledgement would be nice.

I feel like stopping altogether and spending more money on the family and friends who would actually appreciate it. Im not made of money.

Oh yes, I can well imagine it would be noticed if I didn't send them anything this year. I spend £10 per child, so that's £40 for the four of them. It might not be a lot to them but it is to me. Every year their DM posts boastful photos of her tree on Christmas Eve with an absurd ammount of gifts for them. Makes me cross when I personally know families who struggle to afford to buy any gifts for their children!

She's very much a peformance parent, lots of FB posts about 'making memories' and how her kids are her 'world'. Yet neither she nor their father has bothered to instill any manners in them!

If it was me, I’d personally keep buying for a god child til 18, even if they were ungrateful (and carry it on if there was acknowledgement past that point perhaps). I completely agree that they should thank you, but clearly the parents haven’t taught that, so it doesn’t happen. And at this age I don’t think it’s the parents fault. As a compromise could you just buy for your god child? Buying for 3 ungrateful siblings on top would definitely annoy me, so I think you could easily stop that

P.S - gift idea - little note cards and coloured pens? I loved stationery as a kid and my mum always got me to do cards when I was old enough, so could be a good way for you to help instill those manners!

I give loads of kids gifts, nieces nephews, friend's kids..and I generally don't get a thank you and I couldn't care less. I take it as read they're grateful and I bought them it because I love them I don't need a round of applause. In fact the one niece who does send me a thank you letter with photo of them holding it up I think you poor sod getting forced to do that umpteen times for all your presents!!

Do you hand the present to their parents to give to them?

Giving them to them in person and letting them open them while you are there might be better?
I find people are more likely to say thank you in person unless they're really rude.

If you still don't get a thank you doing that then I wouldn't bother next year.
A card and some chocolates at most.

One of my nieces is like this. Spends xmas with us and my DSil (single mum) every year. DN just about tears herself off her phone to do the washing up once over a 4-5 day stay but otherwise her arse is stuck on the sofa all day. Has NEVER bought even her own mum a small xmas or bday pressie in 19 years! Let alone sent a thank u text to any relative for birthday or xmas cheques. She's been earning good money so it's not like she's a broke student who can't afford even a xmas card or token pressie.
Last year she said she had a "hangover" before xmas and that's why didn't buy anyone a pressie (not even her mum again). So I said to her "oh we didnt want to embarass you by giving you a pressie when you couldnt reciprocate. So we donated in your name to a local charity" DN was mardy as hell all day and left early. Result!

Her mum despairs of her. We'll see whether she'll make any effort with buying this year .

@ManonBlackbeak

YANBU.

Me and DH stopped buying gifts for someone who we used to buy for.. (We bought for them, for around 5 or 6 Christmases in a row.)

They bought for us, but then at Christmas 2016, they didn't give us anything back, not even a card. (OR a 'thank you' for what we gave them.)

We let it go, and still gave them a gift and card in Christmas 2017. (We sent it through the post as they live 30 miles away.) Although the postal reference number said the package (and card) had got there, they never acknowledged it or sent anything for us.

So last Christmas, (2018,) we sent them nothing. Not even a card.

You probably know what's coming... By mid February, we were told by someone (that we both know,) that they slagged us off for not sending them a card and gift for Christmas.

Batshit.

Some people are just too 'entitled' for words. They take take take and never give. But when you stop the giving, your name is mud!

Just wanted to add... It doesn't make someone superior because they don't care if anyone thanks them for anything.

It does make you a bit of a mug though.

My niece and nephew sit on the floor in front of me, open their gifts, silently hold them up to show their mother (SIL). They then turn back to their other presents and no one says a word. Once I said "Oh, those presents were from us." SIL just smiled and still, no one said anything. Yet they would probably describe themselves as perfect parents.

I didn't say I was superior I was just sharing my point of view.
No need to call me names that's bad manners!! 😊

Stop at once. If they have the cheek to mention it then tell them the truth. I'd have stopped much sooner.

Stop buying them anything or get really cheap stuff so it doesn’t bother you so much. I had this with nieces ranging from 13-20. Never a thank you so I reduced the gifts to cheap little 3 for 2 sets from Boots or Claire’s Accessories. That way it would piss me off less and I also couldn’t be accused of not getting them anything.

The worst was when a couple I’m friendly with (more DHs mates) had a baby. We sent a gift bag with some nice stuff to where they live......Australia. They didn’t even so much as send a text message to say thanks. However, when I was over there a year later I politely enquired as to whether they had received it and they casually said ‘oh yeah, thanks’. Me, DH and a couple of friends side eyed so hard our eyes nearly came out. The fucking rudeness. They haven’t so much as received a happy birthday text from me since.

Come to think of it, Ive never had anything back from them either. Ive never really thought about it before or expected it, but Ive not so much as had a box of chocolates from them either.

Time to nip this in the bud I think!

Yanbu. But it’s a tricky one, they’ve clearly been brought up with no manners. we sent our niece (DP’s niece) a birthday card for her 2nd birthday with £20 in and didn’t hear a word from them. I text BIL to ask if they’d received the card and he replied ‘yes x’ not ‘yes thanks’. I wouldn’t dream of not saying thank you but there you go. No doubt both nieces will grow up with no manners

Another one, my family friend got married and I was maid of honer. My mum gifted £100 voucher in their card for John Lewis as they’d recently bought their first home. My mum was upset a year later they hadn’t sent a thank you card (or said thank you). When my friend came to visit I mentioned my mum was upset and she replied “oh I didn’t think people did thank you cards anymore”. I could of laughed in her face

Why dont you just stop buying individual presents, a box of chocolate for the whole family or something for all?

One year , in slight fit of rage ,I announced my new year resolutions was that I would not be sending any presents ever again to anyone who didnt say thank you.It did work, so I guess they knew they were being rude before,

Once I said "Oh, those presents were from us

Different context, but you just reminded me of a corker

A pal who's wife had left him was having the DCs for Christmas, so I gave him the kids' gifts in advance. TBF they did usually say thank you, so I was surprised nothing was said - and even more surprised when they mentioned the lovely gifts that "Sue" had bought them

Turned out he'd removed my labels and claimed his new girlfriend had bought the DCs the gifts, to sweeten them towards her a bit

Same situation here OP. I always use to buy birthday/Christmas presents for my cousin and her two daughters, however I never received a thank you from them so I don't bother now. My mum doesn't bother buying for them anymore either as she's never received a thank you for gifts or money.

I remember we were all at a family meal last year and my auntie gave my cousin's eldest daughter (age 10) £10 to buy herself something nice from the toy shop and she never said thank you. It was worse because her mum and dad were sat right next to her and never encouraged her to say thank you either. I just sat there with my mouth wide open. I think my auntie was taken aback after that incident as well and she rarely makes any effort anymore.

I don't necessarily think it's the child's fault as parents should encourage good manners and let's face it, if parents don't acknowledge gifts and say thank you then their children aren't going to either. Lead by example and all that....

Like a pp said above, it only takes two seconds to send a quick text message to say thank you. It doesn't need to be a long letter! I think some people are either just ungrateful or bloody oblivious!

I understand your frustration though. I just wouldn't buy for them anymore and spend the money on someone who will be grateful.

I can't believe they get away with not saying 'Please' or 'Thank You' in school. Every teacher and TA Ive ever met would be all over that like a rash.