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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think school shouldn’t insist that everyone wears a poppy and donates £1

514 replies

moonlightholly · 09/11/2019 06:51

It’s supposedly in a deprived area too - there are constant reminders of the high percentage of pupils with PP.

Also, I don’t think a school should insist everyone wears a poppy - or AIBU?

OP posts:
bellinisurge · 09/11/2019 08:03

Poppies aren't politics. But the whole point of them was for people to buy them for pennies. Pennies make pounds and all that

Runssometimes · 09/11/2019 08:03

What the head has said could be seen as “undue pressure” which is against the code of fundraising practice.

WhatisFreddoingnow · 09/11/2019 08:06

I'm not excusing the bombings (especially the second one) but in all fairness, the Rape of Nanking is just as horrific. Nanking was literally hell on earth for the remaining residents of the city. The shame being that it is still denied by many people and/or excused in Japan. Its a truly horrific incident and please be aware of that when researching it.

My point being, I don't think you can say there is a single 'worst' war crime. There was also the fire bombing of Tokyo (I think around 100k people died in one night). Both sides had civilians with ruined lives. The difference being that some countries had ruthless aggressors.

adaline · 09/11/2019 08:06

@Glitterb because someone people are pacifists. Because some people don't support the RBL. Because you don't need to wear a poppy to remember the fallen.

Sostenueto · 09/11/2019 08:08

Yes everyone has the freedom of whether to wear a poppy or not. Everyone has the freedom to say what they want. Everyone has the freedom to think what they want. Everyone has the freedom to do as they please. Did any of you sacrifice anything personally for those freedoms?
I am sick of the same arguments every remembrance Day! A poppy does not celebrate war. It is red, the colour of blood if you object red than wear white. It is to show respect to those that lost their lives in the name of freedom. It is to respect those that gave the greatest sacrifice of all so that you could have the freedom to choose. They gave their lives for you yet you cannot even give them respect.

StreetwiseHercules · 09/11/2019 08:08

I agree that there shouldn’t be a hierarchy on suffering, but the point being that the nuclear attacks on a nation which was negotiating surrender were the single events which have caused the most civilian deaths in human history.

It was carried out to demonstrate the power of the nuclear bomb.

adaline · 09/11/2019 08:09

Poppies aren't politics

Perhaps not originally but they have certainly become something to bash other people with. It's obvious even on this thread - how dare you not donate a pound to wear a poppy, how disrespectful, people died so you could do this etc etc.

People should be free to make their own choices. If some people don't want to wear a poppy that's their decision.

Beveren · 09/11/2019 08:09

All you people that say you won’t / don’t want to wear a poppy are the people that should be remembering the sacrifices that ordinary people gave to allow you the right to freedom of thought the freedom to make your own decisions in life

Why is wearing a poppy such an essential element of remembering sacrifices? Surely you can remember without wearing a piece of plastic and paper?

I hate all the poppy bullying that goes on at this time of year. I remember the time the right wing press made a massive fuss because not all members of a football team were wearing poppies. What on earth is the point of wearing a poppy on football strip? Surely what is important is the donation, not displaying what you bought with it?

Decorhate · 09/11/2019 08:09

@glitterb Because it’s complicated is what I tell my kids. We have family members who fought in WW1 who we like to remember but we don’t need a poppy to do that. But on the other hand, when your home town was burnt to the ground by the British Army in a different conflict, you don’t necessarily want to celebrate that.

adaline · 09/11/2019 08:10

They gave their lives for you yet you cannot even give them respect.

You don't have to wear a poppy to be respectful. Why do you need to stick a badge on yourself to prove how caring and thoughtful you are?

Ginfordinner · 09/11/2019 08:13

I'm a pacifist and wear a poppy. I don't view wearing a poppy as glorifying war. I wear one to remember those who died, regardless of whether they were in the armed forces, civilians or animals. That is what wearing a poppy means to me.

Clearly people interpret poppy wearing differently.

Passthecherrycoke · 09/11/2019 08:13

You need to decide what you problem is about this. I completely agree that a £1 donation can not be mandatory and is a complete disgrace to expect families in Poverty to donate that, along with potentially multiple donations this term and multiple children at the school.

This should easily be solved by a conversation with the teacher or email to the office. No question.

Re the wearing of poppies this is a different matter and doesn’t affect the families financial position.

Personally, if I was in so much poverty £1 would cause stress I would look after my mental well-being and make life easy for myself. Deal with the donation and wear the poppy. I would have enough stress in my life without trying to deal with the 2. I suspect I would leave the poppy wearing liberty arguments to the time rich contrary antogonists to be “that parent”
With

Especially considering they only pretend they’d do anything about it on an Internet forum as opposed to taking any kind of action in real life Wink

MindyStClaire · 09/11/2019 08:13

Requiring people to wear a poppy is inappropriate. I live in NI and it's a rare Catholic who wears one, for obvious reasons, and I'm sure there's people from plenty of other places around the world who'd feel the same.

Not everyone in the school will have solely British heritage. As

Beveren · 09/11/2019 08:14

I feel sorry for broadcasters who clearly have to buy a job lot of poppies ready to pin on anyone who appears in front of a camera, otherwise they and the unfortunate person in question get pilloried all over the press. It gets particularly ridiculous with programmes like Strictly where they have to make fabric poppies to be sewn on flimsy costumes because obviously a normal one would fall off within seconds. If you've made the poppy and haven't bought it, haven't you missed the point?

LittleCandle · 09/11/2019 08:15

I don't get why you are frothing over this, OP. If you don't want to pay a pound and send your child with a poppy, don't. As others have said, what are the school going to do? If the teacher/headteacher asks your DC why, then by all means give them a note saying you can't afford it/don't approve/fuck off or whatever that can be handed over. If the school then makes a fuss, you go in and tell them in person to get over themselves. It isn't hard.

Glitterb · 09/11/2019 08:16

@Decorhate poppies are not about ‘celebrating’ any war or horrendous act. They are a sign of respect more than anything, are we now bringing our children up to hate/not respect the armed forces? It is impossible to believe anyone could not want to do this for a few £ a year due to ‘not wanting to be a sheep’

Beveren · 09/11/2019 08:16

They gave their lives for you yet you cannot even give them respect

How is sticking a piece of red and green paper and plastic on yourself demonstrating respect? Conversely, why would you assume that someone who doesn't do that doesn't feel respect?

StreetwiseHercules · 09/11/2019 08:17

“ Did any of you sacrifice anything personally for those freedoms? ”

Nope. So?

BertrandRussell · 09/11/2019 08:17

The RBL’s relationship with “dark money” is very problematic, to say the least. And the exploitation of the memory of “the fallen” by politicians is even more so.

Decorhate · 09/11/2019 08:18

@Glitterb Well I’m afraid I don’t respect those who torched my home town. Maybe educate yourself about the British Empire.

BertrandRussell · 09/11/2019 08:20

We have now lost the last of the veterans who were so eloquent about not wearing poppies, sadly.

OhYouBadBadKitten · 09/11/2019 08:21

I cannot wear a poppy for very personal reasons that I will not share here. Others will have their reasons too. That must be respected. Posts attempting to browbeat us into wearing them make me angry. My choice, my reasons. Stop judging.

BertrandRussell · 09/11/2019 08:22

“ are we now bringing our children up to hate/not respect the armed forces?”

No.

BettysLeftTentacle · 09/11/2019 08:22

For goodness sake @Sostenueto read your posts back to yourself will you?

TGEY FOUGHT FOR YOUR FREEDOM SL YOU COULD CHOOSE!!!!
YOU MUST WEAR A POPPY OR ELSE YOU'RE NOT REMEMBERING AND ARE DISRESPECTFUL!!!!!

Contradictory much? Instead of jumping on the directionless outrage bandwagon, why don’t you try sitting down and having a bit of a sit and think.

adaline · 09/11/2019 08:22

They are a sign of respect more than anything,

I don't need to pin a bit of plastic to myself to prove I respect anything.

I don't support the RBL therefore I will not be buying or wearing one or their poppies.