...for being miffed by husbands ex wife still refers to him as her spouse.

[nuggetmcnugget]

...after 20 years!! come on woman. We have been married for 15 years, they have been divorced for 20 years, they were only married for 6! She is still single. I just find it creepy, a bit sad and pathetic. I always hoped she would move on, but nope. She calls her ex in-laws her in-laws too, one of my dh parents she never met as he died before they were together! Please tell me I'm not alone , or that yes, I do have a point to be creeped out by this woman.

I’m sorry but how could it not bother some of the pps? If she referred to him as her husband (same as spouse but she’s being careful) or your boyfriend as her boyfriend or her partner, you’d be outraged!
@nuggetmcnugget if I was you, I’d tell DH how you feel about it and reverse it for him, see how he’d feel and ask him to tell her to step back, stop it and move on with her life! That is just plain weird behaviour!

I know someone who does this, divorced over 35 yrs, will say my husband worked/lived there, trained with them etc. in fact on any and all occasions will find a reason to mention and claim him as her husband. he left her and has marreid twice since. even an itme on the news, location, job, anything will give rise to these statements.
its not in the context of discussing relationships, family, history, which might be more understandable. when I would gently correct her by saying you mean your ex-h, she would make eyes roll, as if I am being eccentric. she cant see how pathetic it make her look, and I feel sorry for her, esp in front of other people. sometimes says she likes the muslim system, ie having 4 wives...
I doubt the present wife cares less.

Sounds a bit catholic

@nuggetmcnugget

You should have known better than to post on AIBU!

YANBU though. The woman does sound odd.

I'm sorry for the way people have spoken to you on here, putting you down, and mocking you. The whole story does sound odd though!

If I were you I would ask for this to be removed. (Report your original post, and say you'd like the thread removing...) It's not going to go well, so it's probably for the best.

Pps saying @nuggetmcnugget is obsessed? Wtf! She’s simply informing us what kind of stuff is going on, she’s got a pretty big list of crazy behaviour - that doesn’t make her obsessed, it makes her simply at the end of her tether. Give the OP some advice.
You’re right OP, there are times on MN when I seriously start to wonder about some people, they’re just so bloody quick to judge and turn things the other way, it’s so extreme.
You get accused of being a bot on Twitter if you disagree with someone, or a troll on here, or “drip feed” when you’re being asked to give more information, because if you write a dissertation in the OP, you get accused of “wall of words” or “too long to read”.

I’d advise you to speak to the police, it’s harassment if she’s following on social media and shouting outside your front door. She needs a doctor imo.

@littlehappyhippo & @VenusTiger thanks for the support and advice. I think I will leave this thread up though, it will embarrass other people more than it embarrasses me. Thats one thing about people generally, there is always someone to defends the indefensible, but that defensiveness gives more away about them than they realise

This really isn't the best place to get the support you are looking for.

Living with the shadow of a nutcase is wearing. It sounds like what she calls her ex in laws is the least of your worries. I would be tempted to move house and not let her know your new address. She has no reason to know it now her daughter has grown up.

Nuggetmcnugget can I just say that I live in the other universe.. not inhabited by the vast majority of AIBU posters - where I find your post not remotely unreasonable... but then again my DH also has an ex who likes to refer to him as 'my husband' - despite me being his wife for14 years.. AND (even more bizarrely) her being married to her DH for 10 !!! ..
.. and yes I completely get why you don't want to give chapter and verse in the OP. Honestly I think people troll these posts to 'have a pop' which is sad because I understood MN being about women supporting women. How times have changed !

My partner and I have only been together for 2 years, but he and his ex have been split up for almost 4. She still has him in her phone as ICE, and as she has health problems, he gets a phonecall on average every few months.

He's asked her to change it, to say a friend or her parents, but she never has.

She also drops round at the house to ask him things about his son (she is not the child's mother but still sees him, which is fine, she was part of his life for a long time) which could have been asked via text or phone if she must. She's a 20 minute drive away for goodness sake!

She still spends time with my partner's parents too, dropping in to see them. They will never complain as they always got on well and they're always glad of the company.

I suppose it's nice, but I find it weird really, as I know I'd want to move on if I split up with someone.

Some people just won't get it into their heads that it really is over.

op sorry you are getting such a hard time.

start calling her your sister wife and see how that goes down.

At the beginning of our relationship it was harassment and death threats.
I'd have taken out a restraining order in those circumstances. Did you at least report this to the police?

She sounds batshit BTW.