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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend needs help?

83 replies

PupsAndKittens · 09/11/2019 00:05

My friend (not the one from my previous posts) is a devout Christian, nothing wrong with that.

We are currently rehearsing for our college production of taming of the strew. She is playing Katherine. Due to a lack of male performers a girl has been casts as Petruchio. They are both required to kiss at the end of the show. My friend is really unhappy about this as it goes against her beliefs (Sexual interactions between 2 people of the same gender). We have all told her that technically the character she is kissing is Male, however she claims that although the person is pretending to be male they are a female and ultimately they are kissing a female. We have also told her that it is just a performance, however she has said how god judges her all the time.

AIBU to I think my friend needs to get a grip. And that there is a difference between playing a character and reality.

Also how many Christians are against homosexuality, just really want to know the truth?

OP posts:
DeathStare · 10/11/2019 14:48

If your friend doesn't want to kiss a girl then that's reasonable. Nobody should ever have to kiss anyone they don't want to kiss.

However kissing (or pretending to) is part of the role, so if she won't kiss (or pretend to kiss) another girl then she needs to give up the role. expecting to keep the role, and also not do what the role requires is unreasonable.

Petrichor11 · 10/11/2019 14:58

If she won’t do a fake kiss then she needs to give up the role.

The whole scene shouldn’t be changed to accommodate one persons prejudice. Reasonable compromise has been suggested (fake kiss) but she won’t compromise at all. So she needs to let someone else take the part.

flirtygirl · 10/11/2019 18:17

Not wanting to kiss a girl is not about prejudice.

What others choose for themselves does not mean you have to choose it for yourself. It works both ways, you can kiss a girl if you want to whilst someone else can refuse to.
I hate that everything can only work one way and then you are prejudiced if you don't agree.

Hate is voicing it in mean terms, not just not wanting to do it yourself. You also don't have to agree with everything but that doesn't mean you hate it or the other person for it.

Your friend is reasonable to not kiss the other girl but she is unreasonable to voice in rude and mean terms her beliefs about homosexuality. That is not needed or called for.

Shooturlocalmethdealer · 10/11/2019 18:30

Your friend is not being unreasonable. I wouldnt do it. I dont believe in homosexuality but I dont hate anyone who is.

TurOlive · 10/11/2019 18:32

So if she needs the part for her diploma but is refusing to even pretend to kiss the girl, what is she proposing happens?

TurOlive · 10/11/2019 18:34

@Shooturlocalmethdealer

You might not believe in it, but it very much exists.

DriftingLeaves · 10/11/2019 18:38

She'll have to give up the role, won't she?

theboxfamilytree · 10/11/2019 18:41

So she objects to kissing or pretending to kiss a woman in the play as being sexual contact against her religious beliefs, but she would be okay with sexual contact with a man outside of wedlock if the part was being played by a man?

SteelRiver · 10/11/2019 18:44

I disagree with her, but she has her convictions and if she won't 'fake kiss' then she won't get the grades and she will have to live with that. I can't help but wonder, if she sees the kiss as a sexual interaction, wouldn't she have a similar issue kissing a male actor she wasn't married to?

MidnightMystery · 10/11/2019 18:53

I think your friend should play a different role.

bathsh3ba · 10/11/2019 19:03

On the acting front, I think she can't help how she feels and if she is that uncomfortable, she can't play the part.

As a Christian, on the Christianity front, there are a lot of different interpretations of what the Bible says and doesn't say about homosexuality but calling it disgusting is certainly unChristian. If you are really are her friend, I would be concerned by the way her faith is making her feel guilty. It is a possible warning sign of a toxic church environment. What do you know about her church?

reallyrandomwords · 10/11/2019 19:16

@PixieDustt "If a Muslim wouldn't try your bacon sandwich would you tell them to get a grip?"

A fairer comparison would be- if a Muslim actress was playing a Christian, would they refuse to pretend to eat a bacon sandwich?

Yes it's ridiculous. She's not playing a homosexual, she's playing a heterosexual engaging in a heterosexual act... she does need to get a grip. Would she also refuse to kiss (real of fake) ANY actor in the future because she's in a relationship and committing adultery? It's a necessity of acting, you either have to do it, or don't act.

I'm a Christian, and very progressive, the amount of people that become offended by things like she has with no real reason for it can be very damaging to the faith as a whole and it makes me incredibly sad.

PixieDustt · 10/11/2019 19:26

@reallyrandomwords Would she also refuse to kiss (real of fake) ANY actor in the future because she's in a relationship and committing adultery? It's a necessity of acting, you either have to do it, or don't act.

That's not true. There are a lot of celebrities that won't kiss a co-star.
Religion aside at the end of the day if she doesn't want to do it then she doesn't have to. It doesn't come as a necessity of acting you make it sound like she has no choice.

reallyrandomwords · 10/11/2019 19:27

It's the fact that she won't even pretend- that's what acting is...

PixieDustt · 10/11/2019 19:33

@reallyrandomwords Because she doesn't have to! She doesn't have to pretend to kiss anyone if she doesn't feel comfortable with it!
There is a lot more to acting then pretending to kiss someone 🙄

TurOlive · 10/11/2019 20:54

No ones saying she should have to. But it is part of the role and if she isn't willing to she can't play it.

Commandershephard · 11/11/2019 15:04

OP, has your 'friend' decided what shes going to do?

reallyrandomwords · 11/11/2019 15:58

Acting is playing a role, thekiss is part of the role, what would acting be if it doesn't cover that?

ConfusedAndStressed95 · 11/11/2019 16:02

Christian here and I don't care one bit if someone is gay. I'm for relationships that are healthy and happy. As long as the people involved are the age of consent and are able to consent its no ones business but their own. Its not my place to judge how anyone lives their lives but to love and respect them.

That said your friend is within her rights to not want to kiss whoever it is for whatever reason. No one should be forced into anything they are not comfortable with.

Healseedbroth · 12/11/2019 23:18

@Shooturlocalmethdealer

So as well as being a trump supporter, a climate change denialist, a fundamentalist and thinking that drug dealers should be murdered, your also a homophobe.

You are Duterte and I claim my five pounds.

monkeymonkey2010 · 13/11/2019 01:40

My friend is really unhappy about this as it goes against her beliefs (Sexual interactions between 2 people of the same gender)
I bet she's no virgin though........

Healseedbroth · 13/11/2019 01:42

💂‍♀️

Original poster
PupsAndKittens · 17/11/2019 00:59

Sorry this is so late, my friend did/has agreed to “kiss”.

Although she is not happy and keeps on saying that it is wrong and why society is so warped Hmm

I just think she is completely hypocritical as she claims to be a Christian, and then tells me how much Bonnie and Clyde were not bad people Confused

OP posts:
ViciousJackdaw · 17/11/2019 03:43

Jesus loves everyone and I'm pretty certain that includes gays. Also, are gays not God's creation?

Next time she spouts off, direct her towards Leviticus and Deuteronomy and ask her if she ever wears mixed fibres or garments from the menswear section.

aurynne · 17/11/2019 04:36

Surely stage-kissing a male is also a sin as it would be the equivalent of commiting adultery?

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