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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My friend needs help?

83 replies

PupsAndKittens · 09/11/2019 00:05

My friend (not the one from my previous posts) is a devout Christian, nothing wrong with that.

We are currently rehearsing for our college production of taming of the strew. She is playing Katherine. Due to a lack of male performers a girl has been casts as Petruchio. They are both required to kiss at the end of the show. My friend is really unhappy about this as it goes against her beliefs (Sexual interactions between 2 people of the same gender). We have all told her that technically the character she is kissing is Male, however she claims that although the person is pretending to be male they are a female and ultimately they are kissing a female. We have also told her that it is just a performance, however she has said how god judges her all the time.

AIBU to I think my friend needs to get a grip. And that there is a difference between playing a character and reality.

Also how many Christians are against homosexuality, just really want to know the truth?

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 09/11/2019 10:48

Report her to the college for a hate crime.
How is this a hate crime? It's more an infringement on her beliefs, she's not infringing or being hateful towards anyone else or group.

Original poster
PupsAndKittens · 09/11/2019 11:16

I think I am just shocked that people are still this backwards with there beliefs. She regularly tells me how “disgusting” the LBGTQ+ community is. I feel that if any non Christians said this we would be in a lot of trouble (rightly So).

So could I say that I hate all black, Gay, Jew, Muslim, Mexico, Irish, gypsy and autistic people because it contradicts my religion of Nazism and my Lord Hitler said they are all of these are evil.

OBVIOUSLY I AM SAYING A POINT.... I DONT BELIEVE THIS!!

OP posts:
Lifeisabeach09 · 09/11/2019 11:22

I don't agree with her beliefs or what she says (saying the LBGTQ is "disgusting" is hateful) but I don't feel she should have to kiss anyone she doesn't want to.

Original poster
PupsAndKittens · 09/11/2019 11:24

@Thingsdogetbetter

She does realise that when the play was written all the performers were male? And Christian!

That’s a really good point.

Also we are looking at it from a Concent and #MeTwo viewpoint. Our our character development has been done looking at this theme.

OP posts:
Original poster
PupsAndKittens · 09/11/2019 11:28

@ContessaLovesTheSunshine
That wouldn’t work as all characters are in the final Scene.

@Lifeisabeach09 she is unhappy with a peck as she feels it is still a sexual action

OP posts:
Original poster
PupsAndKittens · 09/11/2019 11:30

And yes, it is the kiss me Kate line!

OP posts:
Hoppinggreen · 09/11/2019 11:58

Nobody should have to kiss anyone they don’t want to in any context
Can’t they hug?

BumbleBeee69 · 09/11/2019 12:03

Our teacher has already tried the fake approach, however she still not happy with it as it is implying that she is kissing and that is still a sin to her

in that case... She needs to step back from the role OP.

WhiskeyLullaby · 09/11/2019 12:07

She's not really your friend is she?

bridgetreilly · 09/11/2019 12:27

Nobody should have to kiss anyone they don’t want to in any context

THIS.

Also, nobody should have to do something against their religious conscience in order to get a good grade. Religion is absolutely a protected characteristic under the equalities act. However, reasonable accommodation in this case would seem to be re-casting one or other of the parts. If there isn't a suitable boy for the male part, then she needs to switch to a different, non-kissing part.

MumW · 09/11/2019 12:45

I'd say that if she can't perform the role for whatever reason, then she should step down from the part. Actors have to fake all the time, it goes with the territory but they are free to refuse any role they don't feel comfortable with

If a Muslim wouldn't try your bacon sandwich would you tell them to get a grip? It has the same principle
That's not quite the same. If a muslim was playing a part that required them to eat a bacon sandwich, the analogy would be them refusing to eat a bread and butter sandwich because it looks like they are eating bacon - I've no idea whether this would be a problem for a Muslim, though.

EstuaryBird · 09/11/2019 12:50

Did she know when she took the part that Petruchio would be played by a girl? I’m assuming that she would be aware of the kiss as would have at least read the script, read The Taming of the Shrew or seen Kiss Me Kate.

If she did know and accepted the part, or has continued in the part now she is aware, then she is in the wrong. If she has only just found out then she should tell your drama teacher that she can’t continue in the role and let someone else do it.

BarbedBloom · 09/11/2019 13:03

It sounds like she needs to switch parts to be honest. She isn't happy with a peck or a fake kiss and it seems to be causing her upset and stress. I find her views abborant and couldn't be her friend, but equally she shouldn't be forced to kiss someone if she is uncomfortable with it.

Bellatrix14 · 09/11/2019 13:25

She regularly tells me how “disgusting” the LBGTQ+ community is.

Unless you share these beliefs (which I’m assuming you don’t) why on earth are you her friend?! She’s nasty!

She wasn’t being unreasonable at all to not want to kiss someone (even if her reasons were dubious) but she is being unreasonable to refuse to accept a fake/stage kiss. They really need to kiss (or else take out a really famous line, which would be ridiculous) so recasting her seems to be the obvious solution? She sounds a bit of a nightmare to be honest... ‘a peck is a sexual action’ Hmm

Countryescape · 09/11/2019 13:31

She sounds pathetic. And she needs to give up the part.

ThePants999 · 09/11/2019 14:50

Heaven forbid (perhaps literally) she ever gets a part where her character kills someone, if the fact that it's fake doesn't help.

bridgetreilly · 09/11/2019 14:55

Heaven forbid (perhaps literally) she ever gets a part where her character kills someone, if the fact that it's fake doesn't help.

It's not the same thing, though. You pretend to kill a person but don't actually. Here she is pretending to kiss a man but actually kissing a girl.

TurOlive · 09/11/2019 16:05

But OP has said she wouldn't take kiss her either.

If she can't play the part it should be recast.

TurOlive · 09/11/2019 16:44

Fake kiss, I mean. Because it still implies they are still kissing. Which is kind of the point of acting.

MumW · 10/11/2019 11:56

Here she is pretending to kiss a man but actually kissing a girl.
Surely, she is pretending to kiss a girl who is pretending to be a man.

OlaEliza · 10/11/2019 13:28

AIBU to I think my friend needs to get a grip. And that there is a difference between playing a character and reality.

I doubt you'd say this about Muslims so YABVU.

TurOlive · 10/11/2019 13:31

Based on what? And why is it relevant?

Bezalelle · 10/11/2019 13:40

Why are Muslims being dragged into this??

She's a massive homophobe. Why are you friends with her?

eddiemairswife · 10/11/2019 14:03

Muslims are not supposed to take the parts of divine beings. I found out this when I cast a Muslim girl as an angel in a class assembly, and her mother came to tell me.

Thatagain · 10/11/2019 14:24

Your friend is being reasonable. She shouldn't take the part in the play. As for homosexuality it isn't that christians are against it its more like that we just cannot understand it. I am a Christian and I am not against anyone althought I do not understand homosexuality. It's just not for me to know about. So your friend is not unreasonable.