To wonder where all these peoples spend there money?

[choiceofwords]

I have a household income of around 50k. We eat out regularly, nice and quiet neighbourhood, DC always in nice clothes, run a nice car, save a little.

I am quite a big spender and not great at watching what I spend so I don't feel comfortable because I'm careful with cash.

Yet people, multiple people on MN, often seem to start threads suggesting anything below much more than this is poor?

I really don't understand it.

I have friends on much less that still do nice things like go out and on holiday every year. Obviously the same won't be true for everyone on similar incomes but I just wondered where these 'anything less than 100k' tribes are coming from.

Not sure how teenage dc get the grades required for oxbridge if they are doing part time jobs as well as A'Levels etc. At Oxbridge colleges mine have been forbidden from working.

I am left wing and have lived in London most of my life on below £20k but I find the inverted snobbery on MN really grating. No one is saying they are starving or whatever on a higher wage but they should be able to say they are legitimately struggling if they are. The idea that we are all having private schools and shopping at waitrose is bollox.

We pay £6k per month for fils care home. We have taken out a 2nd mortgage to pay for this. I find it very unimaginative for people to keep saying 'what could you possibly spend all your money on youfecklessirresponsibletwats '

We are now incredibly lucky to be in the position we are in but we aren't buying posh candles and there is no way I could afford private school and ponies on £100k.

But MrsKoala I think I've met you and you were lovely - left winger or not

I have a friend with twice the income but far far less disposable income because they have twice the children, opted for a more expensive house, make different choices with food, subscriptions, general day to day costs etc. Everyone’s situations are so different that you can’t just look at income.

Is there seriously people on here saying their money isn’t great but also saying they plan to retire at 50? 😳 you do realise how privileged that makes you?

We bring in just over 100k a year and save half of that. I have friends with a similar household income who have no savings or pensions Six-figure incomes and no pensions? That's insane!!

I think there are some people on high earnings who forget that they have the luxury of choices

I have a friend who is constantly moaning about being skint. Now she is. Every month the money comes in and it all goes back out again... it goes on a 4 bed house for 2 adults and a child, said house is also in the highest council tax band locally. It goes on the most expensive nursery in town. It goes on two lease cars - one of which does the 15 minute home-nursery-work run every day and that’s it.

She could be less skint, but it would mean different life choices. A smaller house, even a same size house in the next part of town would be a massive saving. Childminders locally are much cheaper, even the other nursery is considerably cheaper. Even she says her car is unnecessary

She’s totally entitled to have a moan because she can have the on-a-whim night out she wants, but she gets less sympathy than the mate in the cheap house in a shit area that literally has no other corners to cut

Some people’s situation is choice, others aren’t

I live in London. We used to spend nearly £1500 a month on childcare when DD was in nursery.

What pisses me off is people living in Leeds or whatever, wondering what all these "rich" people in London do with all their spare cash. 🙄

Depends on how many DC and pets you have. The more you have the bigger house you need and the more expensive mortgage is.

My partner and I bring in 70k but we are saving 1/3 that and we also go on holidays every year. We don't have any DC and no mortgage. So we don't have any huge financial commitments. It's all about the choices people make.

Joint gross income off £70-£75k and we live a nice lifestyle but it doesn’t feel flash.
Smallish £900 mortgage, no childcare, car paid off, work in same town we live.
We save a small amount but I wouldn’t feel like we could afford the big £5k holidays people talk about on here.
We go camping once a year and holiday in Uk in general.
We buy minimal clothes and keep a relatively minimalist house and capsule type wardrobes.
We eat out maybe twice a month max.
Have no ransom subscriptions.
If we needed to cut back there’s not a lot of room to do it, it would be reducing savings/ pension contributions and the wine and gin habit

I think the key is how many dc you have. We have a similar income but 3 older dc. Two at uni who we top up and a teenager who also costs a fortune. We still pay for family holidays etc so even though we still go fairly cheap it still costs a lot for 5. Wouldn’t have it any other way but I do sometimes think how much better off we will be when older 2 are working (2 years - not that I am counting).

We have gone completely the other way
We sold tons of stuff on eBay / gumtree and managed to wipe out all our debt. The fear of Brexit after the referendum.
The mortgage was paid off several years ago after overpaying massively.

Now, we both work full time, I cycle to work, take packed lunch. Partner has a car, tales packed lunch

We don’t have sky
Only sim contracts - phones bought used
Tv’s bought used
Car bought used

Basically everything we buy we try to find used for A) saving B) upcycling -protecting the planet

We maybe eat out 3-4 times a year

1 cheap foreign holiday at least every 2 years

We both neither drink, smoke, nor follow fashion.

Basically we are spending next to nothing - consequential our savings look healthy.

If either of us lost our job, there would be no need to rush out and take the first one offered. - knowing that, is by far the biggest luxury we have and gives us both the incentive to carry on as we are.

Each to their own I suppose - but we are both content.

Mrs koala
I’m wondering why you are pay for fils care home.
If he has no assets then he lives for free.
My mums care home was £1800, renting out her home and pensions almost covered it

I just want to see my son do well. He has fallen on hard times and it’s tough for him and his family of 5 ( him included)

4 DC in independents schools at £25k each per year means £100k in fees. At 50% tax rate you obviously need to earn £200k to pay that, before you do anything else.
A 5 bed house in many areas of London can easily cost 3-4 million minimum. Not a mansion, just a semi or terraced house.
Also, when people have “a lot” of money, they don’t just put it in the bank. They re-invest it for the future. So you might be worth many millions but your set-up is that the money is not accessible. You don’t think of it at “disposable income”. Maybe it’s in property or with fund managers, etc. So you still just have one holiday a year etc. But your kids may go on lots of other trips through the schools.

What pisses me off is people living in Leeds or whatever, wondering what all these "rich" people in London do with all their spare cash. 🙄

I've not come across this once, ever. In fact usually the opposite, everyone is aware of the cost of living in London and how much more you have to earn to have a similar quality of life to other areas of the country.

Not sure how teenage dc get the grades required for oxbridge if they are doing part time jobs as well as A'Levels etc. At Oxbridge colleges mine have been forbidden from working.

Pretty easily- I managed it at a state sixth form college back in the day. Three A-levels. Worked between 12-16 hours per week which was full day Saturday, half every other Sunday and half day Thursday. I still had a tonne of time, although admittedly no huge sporting or other extra curricular commitments, which is where my peers at private schools spent a fair chunk of time. It's a very different experience.

Also depends on your view. Our family income is nearly (not quite) 3 times yours but we don't buy expensive cars, clothes, holidays etc.
We save most of our money to buy houses etc / put into pension.
So you'd probably ask me why we don't go out to eat regularly and wonder what I do with my money instead. I'm just doing something with it that you can't see.

@PapayaCoconut I find the opposite on here. It's always threads like "how do people cope on less than £70k"

Our joint income before tax is approx £170k (I am the bigger earner if that makes any difference?). 2 kids one will start private school next year, the other in two years. Large house, largish mortgage. One big holiday a year, eat out a couple of times a month, one nice car the other is a "work car". I am still careful with money and make conscious decisions when shopping for food/clothing/shoes etc it's been a long time for us to reach this point as we've had to really scrimp and save previously to get to this point of being comfortable. I find old habits die hard I absolutely love a bargain and I sometimes struggle to make semi-expensive purchases eg work clothes (I need to look smart) but I'm starting to loosen up.

We retired when i was mid 40s and DH 50, we sold up and moved to Scotland, we take £600 out of the bank a month anything left at the end goes into a piggy bank and we use that for any unplanned nights out with friends. We only ever pay cash, Dh always has £100 hidden in the back of his wallet for emergancies ( think they money is cemented in there) I have pots that i put £10 a week into for the for the phone/electricity/logs bill. Food is one big shop £60 and 3 little shops that are between £10-20. By using cash we dont buy things we dont need, its too easy to pay by card just because you like something. Cash makes you think

Amazed at the number of people considering private school fee's as a normal expense.

Take your children out of this artificial bubble, pop them into your local state school to learn about the real world and raise the standards of this school and give the money saved to a local charity.

Tra-la!!! The beginnings of a better, more loving, more respecting, more empathetic society.

I don't know where our money goes, it's not on £50 candles or organic food.

Big mortgage, two cars, child care, kids activities. Family days out, 1 abroad holiday and trips in UK. I think the winter is expensive for us as we eat out more and trips like cinema and bowling.

I don’t know about bowling but meerkat movies on a Tuesday or wed is buy one ticket get another free..at Vue cinema would be £10 for a family of 4 and take your own drinks and sweets