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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't cope with the school run anymore!!

344 replies

PapayaCoconut · 07/11/2019 01:03

I don't drive. (Have a tiny breastfeeding baby, so won't be able to learn until she's older.) DH works looong hours. DD (5) just started school 20-25 minutes walk away.

I just can't do it anymore! DD is so tired some days I have to drag her scooter with one arm and push her sister's pram with the other. In the rain if I'm unlucky.

I'm seriously thinking about hiring a taxi to take us every day... 😖 AIBU?

OP posts:
emerencemaybehopeful · 07/11/2019 06:06

I re-learnt how to drive after losing the use of my right leg. It took 8 weeks of twice weekly lessons, but I couldn't do other outings because no one had a left foot accelerator installed.

I used a bakfiets trike for years before that though. It's definitely worth considering whether this could be better for you than learning to drive and possibly running a second car. It turns a 25 minute walk into a 10 minute ride, has minimal regular costs, is easy to park with and can carry a lot of stuff. If you haven't ridden recently, or there are hills or you are worried about exhaustion I cannot tell you how much power assist is worth the money.

Otherwise, agree about baby carrier + babywearing coat OR double buggy OR buggy-board or combo of the lot. If big scoots to school then in the afternoon on the way home big goes in buggy, baby on you and scooter under pram.

It would also not be unreasonable to occasionally pay a taxi. My experience with those is that they are not terribly reliable in terms of showing up when you need them.

Palaver1 · 07/11/2019 06:07

It doesn’t matter how long you start from somewhere.
It will help you if you drive
For now I would get the board suggested and on really wet days get a cab

Hurdygurdy24 · 07/11/2019 06:08

Depends where people live though.

There is no way on earth I would cycle to my kids school with them on a bike, the roads are just far to busy. Also, it’s a nightmare in heavy rain or if it’s freezing cold. Bollocks to that, we walk on nice days and drive the rest.

Ps - I am a pretty keen cyclist, but not with kids on a main road in the pissing rain

snowball28 · 07/11/2019 06:09

OP I take the title of worlds shittiest driver 😂 honestly I am utterly terrible, I can’t remember a thing cause my memory is so crap, my ability to multi-task is non existent and I'm bizarrely unaware of my surroundings! I’ve tried on and off for years to learn to drive I genuinely just couldn’t get to grips with it.

That is until my brother took me out in his automatic! Jesus wept was it a revelation lol, turns out I can drive actually quite competently as well it’s the gears and whatnot I just can’t get to grips with.

So for my birthday this year I’ve treated myself to some automatic driving lessons, they start in January so I’m currently swotting up for my theory test.

Definitely try automatic, you could always even do a semi intensive course if your OH could take 1/2 weeks off work?

As for the current situation I would definitely use buggy board and on really rainy day 100% I would get a taxi. I’ve 3 more years of school runs then he can take himself off to secondary, counting down the mins!

OhTheRoses · 07/11/2019 06:11

I've been there op in a wet autum like this with a 10 minute walk, buzzy 4 year old and baby. That was grim enough. If push a buggy and hold a hand you can't manage an umbrella.

Honestly, for this winter I'd get a double buggy. The baby will only get heavier and by Jan a sling may be far less comfy.

You will need to learn to drive but I'd wait until the baby is bigger and the days are longer.

Is there another mum who could help at least one way?

9-3 isn't very long when there's a baby involved and you must be exhausted Flowers.

camelfinger · 07/11/2019 06:12

I would do a sling plus tow rope for the scooter. I think that people who learn to drive quickly are in the minority, and don’t have young babies to deal with. Is the 25 minutes at DD’s pace or a adult’s pace? If it’s a 25 minute walk for an adult then I can see the attraction of driving. If it’s 25 minutes at a 5 year old’s pace then The return journey would be a nice quick walk.

Fightingmycorner2019 · 07/11/2019 06:19

As winter is coming try to make it as easy as possible
Get some waterproofs , and agree with buggy board too

Save taxis for worst days

Are you rural hence no bus ?

There are advantages to that daily
Walk which you will see when baby is older but right now it’s hard

Alanna1 · 07/11/2019 06:24

I’d firstly get a buggy board - they aren’t expensive. Secondly, driving lessons for you! Thirdly, can your 5 year old cycle? If not get her q bike for christmas so that she can learn! There are excellent bikes (Isla, frog etc) that regularly come up second hand for children. Finally of course get a taxi if you can afford it occassionally!

MrsWombat · 07/11/2019 06:25

You've got a tiny baby and a small tired girl. Take the path of least resistance, get a buggy suitable for a baby and pre-schooler. Put her in the buggy on the tired coming home days and carry baby in a sling. Be kind to yourself and don't listen to the vipers. In a few months time it will be spring, she will be a bit older and stronger from the walk to school in the mornings, the sun will be shining and the promise of ice cream and the park will work wonders. Enjoy your new baby and congratulations.

ivykaty44 · 07/11/2019 06:26

A mixture of buggy board, and when baby is older put them in this type of cart for fun www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Large-All-Terrain-Wagon-cart-flyer-retro-trailer-wagen-pull-along-all-sizes-/132753646150 you can get them with canopies
Bike for five year old
Rainy days you’ll struggle to get a taxi so book the night before and get a taxi on a Friday afternoon

Starlet79 · 07/11/2019 06:28

Have you thought about a buggy board?

I feel you though! It will get better!

Nextphonewontbesamsung · 07/11/2019 06:30

Honestly? I'd seriously consider moving house to be nearer the school or sending your changing to a school that is closer to you if at all possible. You've got at least 11 years of this ahead of you. And having to drive for the school run is grim anyway - a massive drag and environmentally unfriendly.

BlackCatSleeping · 07/11/2019 06:30

I agree a lot depends on where the OP lives. I used to live in a city and I used an electric bike to drop the kids off at nursery and then cycle on to work. It was fine until I had number 3, when I sold the bike and we bought a car. I had tried the bus but it was a nightmare with the prAm and all their bags and things. I actually found I needed a car more as they got older with clubs, events, days out, parties, etc.

ivykaty44 · 07/11/2019 06:32

I’d also look for some fun waterproof ponchos and trainers for walking to school so your dd can change shoes when she gets to school - often school schools aren’t great for walking in and that may be part of the problem

Mummyoflittledragon · 07/11/2019 06:37

Do what you have to do if you can afford it. I would say start lessons now. Your baby is quite portable at this age. If you can get into a feeding routine and schedule at nap times, it could work really well.... that is unless your baby screams a lot.

You could also schedule the driving instructor to meet you at the end of day at school run so you drive around with your dcs in the back and the instructor will take you home.

You’ll have to find a sympathetic school for this. Idk if that would be possible. But may be worth checking. Failing that, the weekend when your dh is around.

Lilyflower1 · 07/11/2019 06:42

I can’t believe this.

Ordinarily, on any other thread, Mumsnet commenters would be stridently in favour of green anti car policies and also would also be ultra health conscious and here are almost all posters saying, get a car, arrange a lift or suggesting some solution which burns fuel or, by avoiding walking, encourages childhood obesity.

It has reinforced my strong suspicion that the green agenda is being pursued by virtue signallers who have not thought about the devastating consequences of their unproven policies to the economy and not to personal freedom.

Bristol is about to ban Diesels. Imagine if that were your area. How would you cope if that is all you had? School. Shopping. Work. Holidays.

I am all right if all the Labour saving devices and the vehicles we use were banned as I am retired and have time to cope but my life would be immeasurably diminished as would my individual freedom. Goodness knows how others would manage if a mother can’t get a child to walk for twenty minutes with a baby in a pram accompanying.

With the green agenda all small tasks which take minutes now would take houses of labour. Let’s face it. These tasks would mostly fall to wome:- washing, ironing. cleaning, cooking and so on. Not only that but smart meters would allow power cuts or swingeing tariffs at peak times to disconnects any devices you had left to you.

I speak as one who walked to school for half an hour on my own when I was five and one who watched her mother wrestling sheets through a hand mangle.

I think the OP should consider continuing to walk for the sake of the child’s exercise but I fully support her if she wants to drive or hire a taxi as we are currently free citizens and can make choices for ourselves.

Following the green agenda will lead us to authoritarianism and a catastrophic loss of liberty and choice.

Lilyflower1 · 07/11/2019 06:43

Sorry, ‘to personal freedom’, not ‘not to personal freedom.’

ivykaty44 · 07/11/2019 06:44

Mum round the corner has an electric cargo bike, pops bags children in front and of she goes, electric cuts in up hills

Lilyflower1 · 07/11/2019 06:46

Disconnect, not ‘ disconnects’.Doh!

Whatnameisgood · 07/11/2019 06:47

Bless you, you must be knackered. Do what you need to do for now (and if that means taxis then so be it!) but if you’re worried about taxis for every journey can you just prioritise journey hoe from school when 5 year old is most tired?

oliviabenson2 · 07/11/2019 06:53

Have you considered a joovy caboose where the 5 year old can sit or stand at the back of the pushchair? I think they do an attachment now for younger babies to sit in the front. We did this and was brilliant and you can pick up these pushchairs quite cheaply on eBay. Easier than pushing pushchair and buggyboard especially if you are short like me

lowlandLucky · 07/11/2019 06:56

I had 3 children, 1 (6) at school full time and one in for an hour and a half each day, i had to walk the eldest to school with the other 2 it took 20 mins to walk , turn around and go home for half an hour then take the middle(4) one to school, back home for a cuppa and to let the baby(14 months) have a crawl about, back to school to pick the middle one up, walk back home for lunch, walk back to school to pick the eldest up and finally back home to make Dinner.
Dont be so dramatic OP walking wont kill you in fact it will do both of you the world of good

MyOtherProfile · 07/11/2019 06:58

I'm sure stories of greater hardship are a huge help to the OP!

Marriedwithchildren5 · 07/11/2019 07:00

I've done the same thing. One car family and dh uses it for work. It's gone from a 25 minute walk to 15 over the years as everyone has sped up.

It takes time but I really wouldnt waste my money on taxis. I think I can remember once or twice dd as a newborn screaming down the road for me to feed her. School run is stressful. It will get better.

malificent7 · 07/11/2019 07:02

Think how fit you are getting with all that walking.it is the silver lining.