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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I can't cope with the school run anymore!!

344 replies

PapayaCoconut · 07/11/2019 01:03

I don't drive. (Have a tiny breastfeeding baby, so won't be able to learn until she's older.) DH works looong hours. DD (5) just started school 20-25 minutes walk away.

I just can't do it anymore! DD is so tired some days I have to drag her scooter with one arm and push her sister's pram with the other. In the rain if I'm unlucky.

I'm seriously thinking about hiring a taxi to take us every day... 😖 AIBU?

OP posts:
Passthecherrycoke · 07/11/2019 04:03

@1forAll74 you’ve obviously never done it, or you’d know how crap and depressing it is

SD1978 · 07/11/2019 04:09

If money isn't a concern- then second the intensive course. A baby isn't a reason not to. You know what time they need fed- schedule the lessons around that during the day- Intensive juts means daily lessons usually. If you pass; can you have immediate access to a car? Will your partner go out on the weekend with you driving? Do you currently have your learners? Have read the Highway Code? If you aren't keen, then the board is probably best at least short term.

BlackCatSleeping · 07/11/2019 04:09

Honestly, it only gets harder and winter is on its way. I’d definitely look at booking some lessons for Sunday if your OH is around then and I agree that automatics are a lot easier to drive.

Mammyloveswine · 07/11/2019 04:13

@SD1978 erm breastfed babies don't feed to schedule... Hmm what a ridiculous comment!

Op is that the closest school to you?

I don't think 5 is too old for a buggy board! Or even a sling and buggy for the winter wouldn't be the worst idea.

It will get easier I promise!

FrogOfFrogHall · 07/11/2019 04:36

I've found making the walk to school into a game helps motivate my tired child to walk. Sometimes we get chased by bears and sometimes we are trying to catch an imaginary butterfly etc.
Also it's amazing how he can go from being "too tired to walk another step" to running around if we see one of his friends from school walking the same way so maybe you could team up with someone else walking their child and the kids will then turn the walk into play themselves.

MakeLemonade · 07/11/2019 04:37

Definitely recommend getting the driving lessons sorted, I learned in an auto in under three months with a breastfeeding newborn. My husband would work from home so I could do a lesson on his lunch break and/or I’d do one on a Sat too. He could always manage to jig her along for an hour as long as I fed her before I went. Passing was such a game changer for my daily life!

lonelyplanetmum · 07/11/2019 04:43

I had this situation too. Buggy board is a good temporary solution. Also walking with any other children at the same school really helps if there's anyone you can call for on the way?

It's not long before the 5 year old gets less tired. Two of my DCs best friends after primary school are still the ones we used to walk with and they were in different classes.

I also had a grandma type neighbour who lived some distance from her own GC. She was lonely and widowed and in reception I paid her for two days a week to sit with the baby for one hour between 8.30 and 9.30 . This way school age DD got some one to one attention on the walk to school and it was less hassle.
It does get better.

MyOtherProfile · 07/11/2019 04:57

OP is there no neighbour nearby also doing the school run who could take your son sometimes?

RNBrie · 07/11/2019 05:00

A big rain coat zipped around a baby in a sling is fine.

Or try one if those scooter straps that make it easier to tow a scooter. I used to loop one through the buggy handle and tow my dd along. There is no way I'd want to do a 25min walk with a 5 year old on a buggy board. scooter strap

Yerroblemom1923 · 07/11/2019 05:10

It gets easier. We're now in year 6 so after almost 7 years of walking to school and back in the great British weather I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. They do get used to it although it's tiring at first for their little legs and especially after a long day at school. My dd would come home and fall asleep when she was in Reception.
Fortunately people will probably take pity on you when they see you walking in the rain and offer lifts. Find out which other parents drive past your house on the same route to school and befriend them. If they're going that way anyway it's no great hardship to call in to take your child with them. And they might offer to pick them up for you too. I find in RL people are usually happy to help out. And remember, although the weather is pretty grim now, it doesn't last forever. We love dry sunny walks in Spring and Summer etc

Snaleandthewhail · 07/11/2019 05:20

Whilst it’s not going to help long term, I’ve been in a similar position twice (infant school aged child when I had two subsequent children). And the mumsnet food police will hate this but... feed your daughter as she leaves school with something (banana great, but anything which will giver her a lift). Then invoke the magic power of a big bag of chocolate bits and use them to bribe your daughter home.

It doesn’t solve the wetness (wellies!) but I couldn’t believe how hungry my child could be on leaving school and it did help a bit.

katewhinesalot · 07/11/2019 05:27

Why is dd always tired? Can you get her to bed earlier?

Novemberblu3s · 07/11/2019 05:28

How quickly do you think I could learn? I'm 35 and only had three lessons in my life...

took DH at almost 40 about 6 months. I drove around with him loads during the weekends for general practice and once a week he had 2h with an instructor to teach him properly and to prepare him for the test.

Sostenueto · 07/11/2019 05:33

I used to have to walk over 3 miles to school ( from age 4-11). Even in snow! It was normal in my day.

myself2020 · 07/11/2019 05:38

I have done it. i used a sling for the baby (go to a sling library, don’t just buy one), and a scooter for my oldesf and it worked fine.
alternatively, buggyboard (fine at 5!). buggy and scooter at thr same time is horrible

Hurdygurdy24 · 07/11/2019 05:39

You can learn to drive pretty quickly.

I applied for my test the day I got my provisional license as wait time around here is (was) about six week.

I professional hour long lesson a week and extra time just doing the running about with a qualified driver and l plates on the car.

Or book an intensive course with a local instructor

cinnamonwoman · 07/11/2019 05:41

No ones suggested a bike?

A bakfiet with a newborn insert or maxi coat adaptor. They’re very expensive but hold their value upon resale.
Here in Amsterdam I see people cycling with a baby in a sling, but I wouldn’t recommend that for outside of the Netherlands Shock

25 mins isn’t that far for using a buggy board. I definitely used ours at aged 5 for my older two.

Don’t get a car just for the school run, cars are a pain in the arse and they aren’t a magic bullet that solve all the logistical problems of transporting young children.

Mumdiva99 · 07/11/2019 05:45

It really isn't normally as wet as it has been this half term. I've been doing the school run 7 years and typically we only get absolutely soaked a few times a year. Make sure you all have excellent waterproof clothing - jackets which are nearly knee length. Waterproof trousers and boots. I actually find a scooter more a hindrance than just walking - but whatever works for you. We used to tell stories on the way to school - we had an ongoing saga about something travelling everywhere which helped to pass the time and not think about the walk. And as another poster said definitely feed your child as they leave school. I didn't ever use slings in the rain I preferred baby sleeping flat but it could be a way forward for you. You just have to get in the mindset that you have to do it.....taxi on a rainy day at peak time would be a nightmare here. You'd have to book it so early that you'd end up waiting in the rain to get in at school there would be no benefit.

Oppopotomouse · 07/11/2019 05:47

I can't believe all this nonsense. A 25 minute walk to school.with a 5 year old, and a baby in a pram, why on earth would this be a problem. And yes, in the rain, but it rains in the uk quite a lot. I can't believe that people are talking about cars and taxis here.

I think you're looking for Gransnet, love. Try the menu (top left hand corner).

MonChatEstMagnifique · 07/11/2019 05:48

I used to have to walk over 3 miles to school ( from age 4-11). Even in snow! It was normal in my day.

Another really helpful comment. 🙄

Proseccoinamug · 07/11/2019 05:48

OMFG

Some of these replies are unbelievable. I’ve been where you are OP and it is shit. Really shit.

OP has a tiny breastfed baby. She can’t ‘leave it with dad for a few hours’ and they feed on demand. You can’t schedule feeds with a small baby who is exclusively breastfed, it just doesn’t work like that.

Her dd is tired because she’s FIVE and has just started school, not because she does go to bed on time.
25 mins isn’t a long walk. Until you have to do it 4 X a day rain or shine with an exhausted five year old and a baby that’s screaming because it needs to cluster feed. And you’re juggling everything else too.

OP, if you have enough money, pay a childminder to do the school run. Or get a taxi. Totally not unreasonable.

HiyaVera · 07/11/2019 05:52

@PapayaCoconut I did 10 hours intensive in an auto which was 2 hours over 5 days and passed. I would definitely recommend that if you can. I had the same problem and it was the best thing I've ever done. Still have absolutely no desire to learn in a manual 5 years later! Grin

hopefulhalf · 07/11/2019 05:53

I got my driving liscence at 33 with DCs aged 3 and 6. It is possible but not quick (18m in my case). I did sometimes get taxis, also buses and lifts with friends. TBH I would ditch the scooter, it's just another thing to drag round IMO.

forkfun · 07/11/2019 05:57

@cinnamonwoman I had a kangaroos cargo bike. Life saver, especially on rainy days. Sold it after 5 years for 60% of its original price.

@PapayaCoconut I'd seriously look into cargo bikes. You'll get years of use out of it. We don't need more cars on the road.

Blippolbblopp · 07/11/2019 06:05

Until you can do your lessons id go with putting baby in a sling and DC in the pram. My DD4 started school in september and she is exhausted from such a busy day, we live a 10 min walk from the school but she jumps at the chance of getting a lift home in the pram if she can

If we have a big walk to go on i let DD stand on the basket of the pram and she leans against the handlebar and i push her like that,

Their only small and its a big day at school isnt it, i think 25 minutes is a really long walk for a 4/5 year old