AIBU to refuse to give DC presents

[Betty1119]

DH and I are currently NC with MIL & FIL
Things have always been tense (Ive never been welcome) But they have always had full access to GC.
They live hours away and visits were always overnight and every other month (DC only 2 and this has been since 6m old)
Contact was very flexible, generous and to suit them.
They had overnight, full weekend stays without DH there.
However they continuously ignored my very basic requests (dont put a nappy on we are training etc, dont send a stranger to pick them up!) Please text to say they have settled for the evening.etc etc
About 10 months ago MIL and I seriously fell out but they still took DC as planned overnight but didn't call or text.
DC came home with a temp of 40c & we ended up at a&e but nothing was mentioned!
It was decided then that DC would not visit again unsupervised but access was never denied.
But in-laws decided to cut all contact and haven't seen or asked about DC since and said they refuse to be supervised and would rather not see DC againl!
However they now want to send gifts to DC - who now doesnt recognise them, (not yet 3 and it's been almost a year)
AIBU to refuse to give my children gifts from strangers who care so little they won't see them because it's no longer on their terms?
DH has told them not to send presents if they won't bother to visit, but they said they still will as it's 'all they have left'
Huge backstory - NC since before new GC was born because of way MIL spoke about me. DH has given them 101 olive branches but they refuse to apologise and have now told all family how heartbroken they are that I've banned them from seeing kids!
WWYD?

I think you need to decide whether you are NC or not.
You seem confused about the whole thing.

If they are so awful how can you send them there overnight especially as they are so little?

Its either they are genuinely awful enough for you not to have anything to do with them or have low contact. It's very confusing for the children as well.

If they are so bad that you and DH are NC with them, why on earth are you sending your precious DC to them? A bad GP is not better than no GP.
And now you are saying no contact unless supervised by DH, but he is NC! How is that going to work?
All go NC, gifts to charity.

Perhaps them sending presents is their way of reaching out. To be honest it doesn't sound like the grandparents did anything wrong. The nappy thing, so what? Just restart training when they come home. Stranger picking him up? It wasn't a,stranger it was his uncle and if you were that worried you shouldn't have let your child go. Being sick? Just one of those things. Constant phone calls, why?
I'm reading this as you don't like the grandparents and will use whatever
excuse you can to stop them seeing the children.
Let them have the gifts .

If you weren’t happy with the Uncle and his friend coming pick up your child and them driving 150 miles away, why did you allow it?

Sounds like the visits come with conditions the GPs struggle to live up to.

The nappy - you can't delegate potty training. Children need a stretch of time at home to establish this properly. I wouldn't send a 2 year old without pull ups.

A stranger - nope that was a family member. And so what if the uncle brought a friend you didn't know. Do you need to know every individual that comes into contact with your child. Would the GPs be prevented from having a friend over because you don't know them?

Is this the hill you want to die on and prevent your son from having the widest possible love and affection in his life?

I'm confused, neither like the pils but your sort of forcing 'contact', it's strange you don't say relationship but say contact. This is sort of legal wording a divorcing couple may use.

I'm surprised you handed over a tiny baby with incredibly regular 'contact' and for such a long time?
I can't get my head around it? It's bizzare.

You could always keep the gifts and say they are presents from Father Christmas?? It would be a shame to get rid of them completely.

Sending an uncle he barely knows - accompanied with uncles mate that I don't know, to drive my 18m old child 150 miles! To then not be there when he got there? That's ok?

I'm confused about this bit - did they send the uncle to pick your son up from your house? If it was a problem, why let him go with the uncle?

Who sends any child away to a location miles away to relatives they don’t like or trust - and at 6 months too? What was going on with you and DH while your child was being cared for? Surely you would all visit or your DH would at least stay there with the baby? If you genuinely don’t think they had your child’s best interest at heart then I don’t understand how you could continue to use them for babysitting - because that’s what they were doing ( not contact). Yes I would allow the gifts - your falling out with them has nothing to do with the grandparent relationship with your child.... and they clearly ARE wanting a relationship to continue with him.

Re sending uncle I also get that, maybe op has no idea if uncle is good driver or has driving conviction, who is the the friend?0 does uncle know baby like pils?

But then I wouldn't be putting tiny babies into cars for 150 mile journey either??

Hang on. You sent your six month old and toddler to stay with grandparents 150 miles away, with whom you have no relationship? Is that right?

Because that is mind boggling to me.