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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To expect friend to put nappy on 18 month old DD when visiting my house?

75 replies

walkedallover · 18/08/2007 12:02

Hi, have changed name in case said friend reads this. AIBU to expect that this friend, who has just started potty training her DD, put a pull up on or nappy to visit others houses. I did this with my children. Her DD weed twice on my floor as she has only just started training, didn't know where the toilet was well enough and her mum had no potty or anything.

Even after weeing once, she didn't have a nappy to put on although did have 3 spare outfits! I then had bare bums and wee everywhere.AIBU? Do I fall out over it (don't think she will put a nappy on and would rather tell others what to do than the other way round) I am fed up of feeling disrespected in my own house and generosity (long story but this is just one of several examples here) AIBU.

OP posts:

belgo · 18/08/2007 12:55

surprised at the critism the mother is receiving for potty training at 18 months.

sauce · 18/08/2007 12:56

Ds was 3.5 before he used the potty with any regularity. Very stubborn boy. 18 mos seems somewhat early but hey, whatever.

Original poster

walkedallover · 18/08/2007 12:59

Yes she does like to brag that her DD is 'more or less' potty trained at this age. She often offers me advice and tells me where I am going wrong even though I have much older kids and am quite happy with how I am doing. If I suggest a potty next time or pull up she would probably just come without them anyway. That really sums it up.

OP posts:

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 18/08/2007 13:00

Belgo, I'm sure there are plenty of people who "potty train" at 18m, in my country is difficult to find big nappies for that reason (had a bit of a problem finding some big enough for a 2 year old even when the main brands were huggies and pampers).

I think the difference betwwen that early potty training and the later one is that in the first one is the mum who gets trained to read the signal and get child to toilet asap while in the second one, the child is more capable to take care of his own needs.
It is not only about getting to the toilet in time but about being able to clean themselves afterwards.

mamazon · 18/08/2007 13:00

if she were prepared for the child to be nappy less then i would say it is perfectly reasonable for her to leave her without a pull up. but as you say she hadn't even bought a potty with her then what did she expect to happen.

was she askling the child if s/he needed the toilet constantly? was she watching for signs of them needing the toilet?

i think she sounds rather clueless tbh and no YANBU

belgo · 18/08/2007 13:00

walkedallover - drop her if she makes you feel that way.

Gbrad · 18/08/2007 13:02

belgo...suprised at criticism of a mother of an 18 month old who refuses to carry a potty with her and instead expects that baby to know where the toilet is in a strange house...and get there on time to boot?

belgo · 18/08/2007 13:04

Isabel -what country are you in? I had difficulty finding panties small enough for DD2, she weighed just 8kg when she was potty trained.

She was quite clearly ready because she asked to use the potty (she said kaka and pointed at her bottom) at the age of 19 months. I was very surprised, but it just shows, like with any stage of development, the age range is huge.

for instance some babies walk at 9 months. Other at 18 months, and they are all healthy.

some kids potty train at 18 months, others at 3 years.

sauce · 18/08/2007 13:07

My boy is a strop & the more he knows you want him to do something, the less likely he is to cooperate. But this has nothing to do with whether or not you should put up with your friend's kid peeing on your floor.

beansprout · 18/08/2007 13:11

Surely it's only common decency to ask if someone can piss on your floor or not?!!

Is she rushing to clean it up when it happens? If she is serious about potty training, er, where is the potty?!

YANBU!!!

Original poster

walkedallover · 18/08/2007 13:13

She took her when she arrived and before she went (4 hrs later) and that was about it. Think she expectes DD to say wee well before she needs it but that only happens the odd time outside her house.

OP posts:

sparklygothkat · 18/08/2007 13:14

when I was potty training DD1 (she was older than 18 months, 3 IIRC, she has disablities) and was taken to nursery in a taxi, I put a pullup over her knickers, so she could still feel the wee and knew she was wet, but it didn't go everywhere. Could you not suggest this??

belgo · 18/08/2007 13:14

I've never taken a potty to a friend's house. But I always make sure I know where their toilet is and stick dd2 on it regularly.

Original poster

walkedallover · 18/08/2007 13:14

She wasn't really rushing to clean up tbh but she did do it as i didn't offer.

OP posts:

belgo · 18/08/2007 13:15

good idea to put the pants under the nappy. I've never heard of that.

Original poster

walkedallover · 18/08/2007 13:16

I could suggest that (pull up over pants) and it is a good idea but doubt she would listen to anyone else!

OP posts:

sauce · 18/08/2007 13:18

Hand her a pair of pullups when she walks through the front door.

Original poster

walkedallover · 18/08/2007 13:20

lol yes that IS a good idea!

OP posts:

NoBiggy · 18/08/2007 13:23

Guess potty training at 18 months is fine if you want to, but surely more to it than taking the nappy off and having loads of spare clothes ready?

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 18/08/2007 13:25

Is not only about the size belgo, they were not absorbent enough to keep them dry overnight. Have had the same problem in Spain, the US (I tried every brand available in 4 supermarkets), and LA. Where potty training takes place earlier than here.

belgo · 18/08/2007 13:26

that's interesting Isabel. I wonder if it's to do with people having or not having carpets?

where's MAcondo?

IsabelWatchingItRainInMacondo · 18/08/2007 13:27

A place under the rain

belgo · 18/08/2007 13:33

according to google it's in Angola, and according to Wikipedia it's fictional.

mm22bys · 18/08/2007 14:28

YANBU

It's YOUR house, for crying out loud.

The dd is very young

It won't hurt to put nappies on when they go out.

I would be spitting chips if it was house, and would never have let my DS1 do that while he was pt.

YANBU - Iwould get a new friend (and hope too that she recognises herself here!)

wolveschick · 18/08/2007 14:47

YANBU. If you are potty training such a young child and not using pull ups maybe you need to put social life on hold.

I was shocked when my friend just pulled out a potty from her bag in middle of my lounge and got her DS to do a stand up wee in it in middle of my living room....on my Laura Ashley Rug . She didnt ask and we have a downstairs loo just feet away

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