Should I go back to work now?

[Jadefeather7]

I’m on mat leave (6 months in) just found out I’m pregnant again and due in 8 months. Should I take the full year go back for a month and then start my next mat leave or shall I go back now?

My mat leave package is decent and I don’t need to worry about the money (it also mean however that going part time seems silly because I’d get the money I’m getting now for just staying at home).

My reasons for going back are 1) not wanting a huge career gap because I will find it difficult to get back into the swing of things after two years off. I doubt I will stay at the same company in the long run as a lot is changing so will likely need to find a new job once I’m ready to go back after baby 2 and a big career break won’t help and 2) feeling a bit depressed being at home.

On the other hand my job is quite stressful and has long hours. Having to come home to a baby and being pregnant is not ideal!

Please tell me what you think, I really don’t know what to do!

🤞

What does your husband think? How much parental leave has he taken? Would it make sense to share the parental leave for baby 1 so you can go back to work and have him stay home with baby 1 until you are ready to start leave for baby 2? This could have the triple benefits of you staying in touch by going back to work for a bit, him having more time to bond with baby (and do his bit for the feminist cause ✊), and baby 1 has the stability of staying with a parent for a little longer and not moving around childcare when you go to work then start leave for baby 2. Congratulations on your pregnancy.

@trinibrit My husband did offer to do this but I think if he took leave he would only get statutory minimum which would make it difficult for us with the mortgage etc. I have a great maternity package which we need to take advantage off to stay comfortable without having to dip into savings. Also he is a lot more career focused then I am and has potential to progress further in his career whereas if I’m honest I’ve reached a point in my career where I’m happy with what I have and I don’t want any more responsibility. I know it’s not great for the feminist cause!

Well it would help the feminist cause if more employers offered enhanced parental pay for both mothers and fathers. That way he could take parental leave without a financial penalty. But of course if you get 50% of an already high salary, and he would only get the statutory £140/week or so, it doesn't make any financial sense.

Personally I would go back. I have two friends with small age gaps between their children. The one who went back between her kids found her return very easy in comparison (she was even promoted 6 months after returning from her second mat leave, although that had been on the horizon for a while). The one who stayed out struggled massively, tried to go part-time, it was refused and she resigned. She's looking for other part-time work now that her youngest is getting free nursery hours. She says herself she dislikes being sahm full-time, she'd prefer to be working part-time.

@Slomi Thanks, it’s good to know about your friends experiences especially as I don’t really know anyone who has been through this

Hi

One thing you could consider is that because you accrue holiday, you could do full time but take one day off a week. Some friends who have had kids close together have done this and worked from home a day or so a week. It keeps your pay open and your options open (if you want to put in a flexible working request on your next return you've already demonstrated that you can make it work in your role).

Why dont you do a couple of kit days and see how you find the commute etc before making a decision?

@GettingABitDesperateNow Yes that’s a good idea which I’m seriously considering. 4 days will be much more manageable and this way my pay isn’t reduced for the next mat leave.

bear in mind maternity pay is based on salary during a specific qualifying week. if you only get mat pay that week your next maternity pay could be lower than you expect.

I had mine close together but we planned it so that my qualifying weeks/months were minimum the first two months of full pay when i went back. I also used my annual leave to work 4 days a week but still be paid full time.

Going against the grain here but I wouldn't bother. I can't see how going back for less than 6 months with a baby at home and already pregnant will do anything but hinder your career TBH. If you are struggling with your mental health then you need ro address that separately returning to work isn't a panacea. Honestly if I were you I would minimise the time you had to return for.

When you do return it will feel like you have been of for ages (to both you and them) and I would want to keep my powdsr dry.

The other thing that I was wondering about is carrying my baby around when I’m heavily pregnant especially up and down stairs. Wouldn’t it be better to have some help at that point? I don’t know maybe it’s not a big deal and people do do it?

Also if anyone is still reading this I was wondering how those of you who went back to work early coped with teething? My little one is yet to cut a tooth and it’s something I’m dreading - constant night wakings and having to be at work the next morning

Well we only realised my son had CMPA, which caused silent reflux, after I went back to work. It was when we started giving him more formula so the symptoms, which had been mild enough for us not to realise before, became much worse.

Once we got the CMPA and reflux under control, we had to sleep train him, which involved being up half the night (in shifts) for nights on end.

The sleep deprivation was horrific and I don't know how I survived but I did actually manage to go to work and function, somehow.

I do know that I wouldn't have made it through if DH hadn't done his share.