Should I go back to work now?

[Jadefeather7]

I’m on mat leave (6 months in) just found out I’m pregnant again and due in 8 months. Should I take the full year go back for a month and then start my next mat leave or shall I go back now?

My mat leave package is decent and I don’t need to worry about the money (it also mean however that going part time seems silly because I’d get the money I’m getting now for just staying at home).

My reasons for going back are 1) not wanting a huge career gap because I will find it difficult to get back into the swing of things after two years off. I doubt I will stay at the same company in the long run as a lot is changing so will likely need to find a new job once I’m ready to go back after baby 2 and a big career break won’t help and 2) feeling a bit depressed being at home.

On the other hand my job is quite stressful and has long hours. Having to come home to a baby and being pregnant is not ideal!

Please tell me what you think, I really don’t know what to do!

@KatyaZamolodchikova So looking at my policy the bit on eligibility for maternity pay (not leave that’s a separate section) says that if you have 52 or more weeks of service at your qualifying week you are eligible for full OMP

That’s odd, as for SMP you also have to be earning a minimum weekly amount to qualify. If the amount you get while on mat leave during your qualifying week exceeds that you should be fine. Sounds like a slack policy to me, but I wouldn’t complain if it’s working in your favour!

@KatyaZamolodchikova It mentions maternity allowance for people earning less than the lower earnings limit however my lowest weekly pay on mat leave is something like £400-500 so I’m well over the minimum which I think is £100 or so

As others have said o think going back to work would be good. I have seen too many threads where women return back to work after kids and their company basically tries to demote them due to them being absent for so long.

Also it can really knock your confidence to be out of work for so long especially as you’ve said you are feeling down at home.

If I were you I would confirm the policy with HR and return to work till I was 5 or 6 months along. Maybe reducing hours or working from home more near the end if you were allowed.

It may not seem financially beneficial at the time especially if you needed to arrange childcare but in the long run it would probably be best for your career.

Same situation as you OP. I decided not to go back. Wanted to focus fully on my first LO before baby number two arrived and then return to work once both were old enough to be at nursery together. But I'm one of those people that can't do two jobs at once- id need the babies to be semi-independent before I went back myself.

In my situation I actually don’t see myself staying at my current company in the long run because so many changes are happening and it’s no longer the great place to work that it used to be. So I’m not so concerned about my role with them. I guess in terms of my career I’m more worried about my ability to do my job and find another job eventually having got back from a back to back maternity leave.

@titnomatani are you back at work now or still off?

Sorry my post isn't clear. Next baby is due in January. I was meant to return to work in September but decided not to go back. I'm lucky in that I have a specialist role and plenty of opportunities for independent work, if it comes to that, when I do go back but right now, my priorities are providing consistency and stability for my current LO and to give myself a chance to do the job I'm doing- being a mum to him- well. I'd have been a mess at work if I'd gone back a few months ago, a mess at home and would've found it hard to recover in time for baby number 2.

FWIW OP regarding maternity pay policies, it is actually common in many companies, that enhance pay, for mat leave to count towards your eligibility for further mat pay - obviously varies by employer, but I work in this area and this is commonplace. It could potentially be discriminatory for your mat leave not to count for eligibility for further mat pay (for a new pregnancy) as you’re still employed and still accruing other company benefits like annual leave. The main thing as highlighted already are your earnings in the qualifying week when it comes to SMP, however your company policy is to enhance pay so in practice it doesn’t make a difference to you personally. Basically this is quite normal, I’ve seen this a lot where some women have chosen to have children close together and so have taken (typically) two lots of mat leave close together and because they get enhanced pay based on years of service they receive this regardless.

Doesn’t help your main question but just wanted to reassure that this isn’t super unusual!

I think I wagon back for a while for long term career reasons.

@cubesofjelly thanks, good to know! Do you happen to know how those women who have taken two lots of Mat leave have found it when going back?

Coming at this from a different perspective because I had my babies 20 plus years ago when ML was much shorter so after dc1 I was back at work after just 3 months. Same for my mum friends who continued to work. By the time I had dc2 and 3, ML was slightly longer and there was the option for an additional (unpaid!) 3 months so I returned when they were 6 months

Although the improved maternity rights are a very positive thing I do wonder if there’s a bit of a flip side in that women can now feel pressure to take a whole year off even if they’d actually prefer to be back at work a bit sooner. Also, having seen younger colleagues begin to put their children in childcare at a year old, it strikes me that felt a separation anxiety point of view this is probably the time it peaks, whereas if you start leaving a baby when they’re younger then you’re not putting them through that.

Personally I found 6 months off about right. 3 months was physically hard work as I was bf. I never felt out of the work loop which I think I would have done if I’d been off a year or longer. As you say OP it’s not just about money, it’s about your mental well being and need for balance in your life. Having a baby is wonderful, best thing ever but you shouldn’t feel any guilt about wanting other important parts of your life to continue.

So- long post! But the nun of it is, if you do decide to return to work earlier, remember this is what tens of thousands of women did for years, the only reason you’re questioning it is because so many women now have a whole year out of work. Your baby will be fine and so will you if you go back. I certainly couldn’t contemplate 2 years out of the workplace- And I loved my maternity leaves! - I just think I would have felt very out of the loop and a bit left behind career wise

Felt = from
Nun = nub

Fat fingers!

@Acciocats Thanks, that’s reassuring to hear. Everyone I know has taken a year and when I was starting my ML they all said you must take a year if you can. If enough people tell you that and it’s your first child you feel inclined to go with it. If I wasn’t pregnant again I would have just done the full year but now that it could become two years it seems like too much!

I had two mat leaves almost back to back. Due back from #1 in the Jan but was pregnant by Dec. I worked for 7 months and then went off again. I actually went back and did a different role as I informed them early on - it was less stressful and didn't 'leave them in the lurch' on projects when I went off again.

If you can manage to go back FT then def worth thinking about to preserve your money. I went back PT (all agreed before I knew I was pg again) and then took redundancy about 8 months after I went back after #2. Getting 2/5 of the full redundancy after 16 years was very galling!!

I think you’re dead right OP, especially as a first time mum, there’s a huge pressure to do what everyone else seems to be doing. It’s like now, when I sometimes mention to people that I was back at work when dd was 3 months old, they look at me in horror and say they could never manage that. My response is ‘of course you could, if that was the norm and every other working mum you knew did it’

Our mental well being as parents is massively important. I loved every minute of my ML but even so I honestly don’t think I would have wanted a whole year off, I suspect I would have got into a totally different mindset and routine and it would have felt almost like starting out in work for the first time. As I say I think 6 months was about right for me. If I was having babies now I’d probably do that and then transfer a few months to dh because I think shared leave is a brilliant thing for children. But definitely don’t feel you ‘must’ take what will effectively be 2 years out of work. Even if the pay side is good, there’s more to working than just money and it’s about you having a healthy balance

Rather than going part time I could use my Annual leave to give me a 4 day week for the 4 months that I work before I will be off again. Hopefully work can find a short term project for me so that it’s not too disruptive to them.

I will also need to start looking at childcare straight away if I need to go back in Jan. Still feel more inclined to getting a nanny because I feel that he needs individual attention at the moment, I won’t need to worry about drop offs/pick ups and a nanny will do things like laundry, tidying up baby things etc

@Jadefeather7 for the ones I know a bit more the experience of returning was fairly similar to any mat leave returner - some now wanted to work part time, others decided they would prefer to work closer to home. They all came back to their role (or a version of it, depending on any organisational changes) at the same hours pre-mat leave, gave it a couple of months and assessed. But they all continued working and seemed to be happy to be back. It’s a bit like the saying about riding a bike, once they were back and catching up with things they quickly got back into the swing of it.

I do work in a fairly supportive area (public sector), so that probably has more of an impact than the actual impact of taking two lots of leave close together IYSWIM. Also these people span across middle management, senior management, and exec level so seniority and pressure doesn’t seem to have been an issue.

"Rather than going part time I could use my Annual leave to give me a 4 day week for the 4 months that I work before I will be off again."

That's a good idea. Do you have enough leave? It would be about 17 days.

@AnotherEmma Yes I’ve got about 15 days from 2019 to take which will roll over to next year and then I would have my annual leave allowance for 2020 so would easily have 20-25 days. I hope they will let me do that!

Your maternity pay is based on a qualifying period of pay. Policy's don't usually state this as they are usually linked to smp - the amount of smp you are paid is based on the two monthly payslips received 15 weeks before your due date. Its unlikely your omp is not based on the same figure so if you don't go back in time your mat pay for 2nd baby will be reduced.

Good luck

@siriusblackthemischieviouscat So my policy explicitly says that the payment for the first 6 weeks is 90% of the earnings during the qualifying week but then for each week thereafter it says that it’s 50% of my actual salary. Why would they make that distinction?

In fact it says that the 90% of earnings during qualifying period is “as required by HMRC” whereas the 50% of actual salary doesn’t mention HMRC or qualifying period, so fingers crossed I should be ok. I expect the first 6 weeks I will get a lower sum as it will be based on my maternity pay during the qualifying period rather than salary.

I would phone HR and check maternity pay entitlement and flexible working arrangements so you can make an informed decision without guess work.
Sounds like you're between a rock and a hard place, if financial considerations aren't a factor them MH ones certainly are but working full time , with a young baby and being pregnant will be hard, a lot depends on the support you have at home and how stressful and flexible work would be, only you can weigh it up and decide.
When are you due back at work and when do you think you'll want to start your next maternity leave ?
I worked up to 38 weeks, so could you go back after a year and then have a few months at work, maybe with reduced hours or some WFH before going on maternity leave a couple of weeks before your due date?
Speaking from experience I do think having a bigger gap out of the workplace dents your confidence and damages career prospects.
I can understand you feel a bit embarrassed about being pregnant, I had a 15 month gap between my eldest two and felt the same, even felt like I'd been unfaithful to DD1! But there are lots of advantages to.a smaller age gap, they are really good friends, too young for jealousy and they liked doing the same activities. congatulations by the way ! And good luck .

@Runnerduck34 Thanks, it seems like in the short term it’s could be quite tough but in the long run better for my confidence and my career. I already feel like I’m out of touch and it’s only been six months! It’s hard to know how stressful work will be because it really depends on the project that you get put on. I’m due back in May and the baby is due in June.