To ask what you do when kids are at school?

[sharond101]

I work part time. Eldest is in school and youngest will go in August. Currently youngest goes to nursery 9-3, I regular collect early and play with her at home or take her out. I cook, clean, shop, paint my nails, exercise at home but otherwise have no idea what to keep myself busy with. I have been working extra hours and arranged to meet a few friends but this is not regular and feel pretty lost.

@formerbabe I have to say you’ve used very “fast” language to describe doing things fairly slowly, giving the impression you think you’re very busy.

I can see how things just eventually fill your time though- it happens over years. As I said to a friend, she pops to the shops every day to pick up something she might’ve forgotten. When We’re both working that internet shop turns up on a Monday and if it’s missing something then tough.

@Passthecherrycoke

Yes definitely...you absolutely adapt to your own situation. If we both worked full time, I'd do online shopping, I'd have five sets of uniform for kids, my dh would have to cook dinner. I'd buy more pre prepped food etc.

I enjoy it after years of being exhausted! 1 hour cleaning & admin & laundry, 1 hour errands/getting boring stuff done, 1 hour writing (for fun), 1 hour going for a swim & a coffee, 1 hour nap/read, sometimes see a friend/mum. Also prepping meals, and preparing activities to do with child at home. Soon goes.

I work PT with three school age DC and a baby. We usually go to baby groups on my days off which waste an hour or two. I also do all of the cleaning, play with DS, read to him and sing with him. When he naps I confess I sometimes sit watching TV.

I'm off on garden leave at the moment after having been made redundant. I'm loving the freedom but I genuinely have no idea how sahms with school aged children think they're busy! Unless you live in a mansion, there is so much time in the day that it's surely impossible to fill it with cleaning, cooking and household admin!

OP, if you're at a loss as to what to do, why not try volunteering in your local community? Or do an online course? Learn a language? Read? Write a book? I have loads of ideas about how to fill my time!

I agree with @formerbabe about adapting. I've been a single parent for 22 years and always worked full time. No family assistance and very lucky that I never had to take a day off sick with DD. However I dare say that my standards of cleanliness in the early years would horrify some of you 😀 plus I never iron anything, ever. Beds changed once a fortnight and I make sure that I have a weekend visitor, even if just for coffee, to ensure that at least on the surface it looks ok. And hope they don't open any cupboards.

The more you're in a house the more mess is made and so there is more cleaning up to do.
When I was a single parent to DS and worked full time we were both out of the house everyday between 7.30am -6pm Monday - Friday at work/school. Once we got home it was a quick tea,bath then bed on week nights. He only wore school uniform during the week and I wore a uniform. Only washing to be done was underwear, uniforms and weekend clothes so not that much, could do just a couple of washes a week. The house didn't get very dirty or messy with just the two of us there basically 2 days a week (and even weekends were usually spent out and about).
It's different now, 3 DC, a dog, 2 adults. Kids are home everyday from 3.30 (4.30 when I work) and often have friends over after school. The house is full of people all the time. A lot more mess is made, house gets much dirtier more quickly, lots more dishes to wash, it takes a lot of time to get on top of things. I can see how being at home all the time brings more work into the home.

There's an easy solution here OP. Most people fill the time while children are at school by working more hours.

I'm on maternity leave.

Do you want what I tell my husband I do or....what I actually do. Which is not much at all.

My PhD.

Have you considered part-time study? I got funding to do mine, even alongside a part-time job and being a single parent. So my fees are paid and I get a stipend. Nearly all the work can be done on a flexible timetable.

Obviously I don't have time to meet friends, exercise, clean & cook (do those when dc home after school) etc.

It's 13.46 and Ive just sat down. Just over an hour before pick up. So far, I've cleared up breakfast, emptied dishwasher, put a wash on, put old laundry away, hung wet laundry up, made a ten minute phone call, been out for a haircut, got a few cupboard essentials and picked up a parcel from Next. Lunch was grabbing a quick fries from McDs. When I get home from school pick up, I'll cook, sort out lunches and leave for work at 5.30 til 11

So far I've..
Cleared up breakfast stuff
Put away clean laundry
Done two loads of laundry and hung up
Made a cake
Prepped dinner
Cleaned kitchen
Dusted children's bedrooms and cleaned their Windows
Changed my bed sheets
Put some things on ebay
Just about to hoover lounge

I work 3 evenings a week and both DC are at primary school. I:

Do my uni work
Exercise
Batch cook
Meet my mum or friends for coffee / mooch round the shops
Meet DH for lunch child free
Do housework
Do life admin
Washing & ironing
Chill on MN or my other favourite websites
Run errands

I love it.

I work 4 days. If I am lucky enough to be at home when the children aren't I sleep.

I also sometimes cry about how little sleep I get.

I have just started having one day at home while my DC are at school. I find it so much easier getting things done when they are not around so I try and do as much as I can so I can spend some time relaxing/taking them out at the weekend.

I often go to Lidl to get some groceries after the school drop off. I'll then head home, clean fridge, then put groceries away. Clean and tidy kitchen and put a wash load on. Fold and put away dry clothes. Clean and tidy living room. Change beds every other week - tidy and hoover the bedrooms. Clean the bathroom. If I have time I'll sit down with a coffee and read, watch tv or mumsnet in complete peace!

Work 2 days a week. Visit my DM once. The other two are easily filled with things. I have DS3 here on one of them as he's still part time at school nursery. I get no alone time once everyone is home (2 have SN and need a lot of attention) so the remaining day is mine. I catch up on errands and phone calls, watch tv that I've recorded and maybe do shopping or a bit of knitting.

I work part time but always seem to be busy! Today I took DC's to school, walked the dog, worked 10-1. Just finished having lunch, cleaned the car out and prepped dinner for tonight. 45mins to have a cuppa and read before pick up and starting again....

I’m a sahm for my youngest (13 months).

So when the older ones are at school I do varied stuff really.
Tidy/clean up around DD’s naps
Do family admin
Do the food shop
Take DD to baby/toddler group or the park/soft play
Go out for lunch
Go to the gym if my dad can babysit for me
Have a nap when DD naps.

I work full time but shifts, one week of days and one week of nights. The nights week I have 3 days off and I literally sit on my arse as much as possible and do the very bare minimum that I can get away with. Having said that, my youngest at 14 is the only one still at home, and I am rather a slattern 😁

I don’t work Fridays and I have a four year old in reception.

I drop my son off at school and practically skip away!

I head straight to the gym to meet my boyfriend (also doesn’t work Fridays as it’s a ‘study’ day) and do a 45-60 minute workout.

After that we go back to mine until about 1:30, then we go for lunch together and he heads home while I go and pick up my son from school.

I go to work.

Stravaplava ...I bet you do!

EllaPaella, you’ve nailed it. Just by being in the house chaos and mess are created. Even if the kids are not there in the school day they can easily trash it before and after school. Plus the vast amounts of laundry.

I’ve got four DCs aged 19-6 yrs.
over the years, I’ve worked FT with a long commute, PT, in the office and from home, had a year as a SAHP plus a year ML for each birth.
Honestly, it’s swings and roundabouts. There are huge, but different, frustrations and strains at both ends of the spectrum.
Finding something that works for your current family and financial situation, while maintaining your sanity is achievement enough. This is different for everyone and will be different for each of us as we move through life.

@formerbabe this morning I’d done half your day’s list before I left the house for the school run! I got myself and 3 kids (1 primary school, 1 preschool and 1 baby) ready, put a load of washing on, washed up from last night and tidied up breakfast, packed bags for the day, hung my washing out, wiped round the bathroom and then left for the school run.

I don’t doubt that stay at home parents are busy, but having just gone back to work 30 hours a week following a relaxing maternity leave with my third baby, there is no doubt in my mind that working parents are busier!