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AIBU?

going to new york without my 18 month old?

26 replies

selfishglobetrotter · 18/08/2007 10:39

We booked our trip without too many concerns. We're going for 4 nights and she's staying with my parents who she's very fond of. If we have a rare night out she's so happy with them she barely seems to notice we've gone, so we thought she'd be ok for 4 nights whilst we have a once in a lifetime trip. It's not like this is going to be something we'll ever do again.

However, so many people i've told about it have asked whether she's too young and whether we wouldn't miss her so terribly that we wouldn't be able to enjoy ourselves. At first i brushed it off, but now i'm starting to worry. Are we making a big mistake?

She's also become slightly clingier since we booked the trip, which makes me more concerned about whether it's a good idea.

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foxybrown · 18/08/2007 10:44

Don't give it a second thought - go and enjoy! you are not being selfish at all. she will be well cared for by people who love her and she'll have a ball.

honestly, you'll miss her more than she'll miss you (ooh, that sounds mean, its not meant to).

have fun. am very !!!

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PestoMonster · 18/08/2007 10:46

Don't worry about it. DH & I did the same trip when DD1 was 4 & DD2 was 2 and we had a great time. We didn't miss them until we were on our way home and that's when we started to look forward to seeing them again. Make the most of your trip and enjoy yourselves. I'm sure you'll have a wicked time!

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madamez · 18/08/2007 10:49

You're not leaving her in a shed with nothing but a bowl of biscuits: she'll have a lovely time with her grandparents and you'll ahve a great time being grownups rather than parents for a few days.

The people who are trying to put you off are either jealous of your trip or they are the sort of dipshits who think that parents (especially mothers) should never have ny time off or do anything enjoyable.

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selfishglobetrotter · 18/08/2007 10:55

madamez - lol at bowl of biscuits!

thanks ladies you've made me feel much better. i shall refer back to your comments whenever the doubts start to seep in.

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bookwormtailmum · 18/08/2007 11:04

Go without her and enjoy yourself. I've left my dd with my parents a couple of times to take short breaks/holidays with my dp (yes, I know, I'm a lucky mare) and it is true - you miss them more than she'll miss you. Try to ring her everyday if you can so she can hear your voice and bring her back a nice present. Parents are allowed time off for good behaviour iyswim .

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magnolia1 · 18/08/2007 11:06

I left 3 children with dh and went to New York for 8 days! It was fantastic and they didn't batter an eyelid!
Go enjoy yourselves

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mm22bys · 18/08/2007 14:35

YANBU.

We left DS1 with my parents when he was 1 for 4 nights to go to a friend's wedding in Champagne, and worried so much, till we went out the front door, then we just "forgot" about him, and had a great time!

Go enjoy yourself! Wish I could do that too (parents are 11,000 miles away so it's not highly likely!)

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wolveschick · 18/08/2007 14:40

YANBU! If sleb mums can go off to jungles etc for 2 weeks at a time your 4 nights in New York pales into insignificance.....am

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greenday · 18/08/2007 14:41

we spent 4 nights in Barcelona last year celebrating our anniversary. We left DD with in-laws and she was fine. Do it!! Its worth it.
In fact, a cousin is spending a few days in NY (for work) and she's bringing her 18mth DS along and poor DH has no choice but to take leave and babysit DS while she's at work. That, IMO, is unreasonable.

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TheBlonde · 18/08/2007 14:44

Go, you will have a wonderful time

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rosmerta · 18/08/2007 15:06

Selfish (you're not by the way) my ds is 18m and we did this trip just a month ago for my birthday! We did miss ds of course, but we know he was having a great time with his grandparents.

Go & enjoy yourselves, it's a fantastic city!

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binklehasflipped · 18/08/2007 15:09

we did this trip when dd was one - she was absolutely fine at home with grandparents. We went again last year and talk her with us this time - have a fantastic photo of her stood in the middle of Times Square, hands on hips, like she owns the place. Might post it on my profile its fab!!

Go, you'll have a fab time

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rosmerta · 18/08/2007 15:12

binkle you have to put that photo up, sounds great!

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binklehasflipped · 18/08/2007 15:15

i'll have to get dh to explain how to do it - not very technically minded

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selfishglobetrotter · 18/08/2007 15:23

thanks everyone i'm actually starting to look forward to it now! mumsnet it a wonderful thing

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MuffinMclay · 18/08/2007 15:26

YANBU. It'll be fabulous!

FWIW, we're having 4 nights without ds soon (15.5 months), the first time away without him, and I can't wait. People keep saying to me, 'oh, you'll miss him so much' and actually, I don't think I will.
And he'll have a ball with his cousins and SIL, rather than being stuck with me!

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allgonebellyup · 18/08/2007 15:28

i cant stand it when people tut and ask if you'll miss them when you go away, they are trying to make you feel small and are probably jealous.

Go! Have fun!

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chonky · 18/08/2007 15:31

Have a fabulous time

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kerala · 18/08/2007 18:06

4 nights isnt that long. Have fun! Just dont let your worries spoil the trip, your dd will be having a lovely time with her granny Im sure.

Friends of friends of ours left a 1 year old with a nanny for 10 days while they went on a luxury hol.

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littlelapin · 18/08/2007 18:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sugarmatches · 18/08/2007 18:47

YANBU! Go, have fun! New York is an amazing city! Your dd would have a much better time here. We took ds to Chicago recently and he hated the plane, the travel cot, the shopping, the public transport, etc. He got cranky by midday and the people on the street were not loving the pushchair.
Take her when she is 14 and will love and appreciate it.
It is not like you are moving away...4 days!
Ignore all of the comments, they are probably just jealous!

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sugarmatches · 18/08/2007 18:48

Go to Magnolia in the village and bring her back cupcakes...Absolutely amazing!!! And they can wrap them up really well for the journey home.

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onehackedoffmuma · 18/08/2007 18:48

GO GO GO GO GO GO GO!! I went to New York when ds was the same age and left him at home with my parents - he was absolutely fine. Go and enjoy yourself!!!

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lilymolly · 18/08/2007 19:02

Gosh I have a final job interview on Monday, and if I get it I will be going to New Jersey for 3 weeks !!!!!!

Yes I will miss dd a lot, she is 19months old, but hey she and I will get over it.
4 days is nothing, go and enjoy yourself

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foxybrown · 18/08/2007 21:27

Think of all those lovely things you can buy for her!

Hope we've helped make your mind up for you

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