TikTok

[Rachelwilson1]

Dear mums! Is anyone else letting their child use this new application called TikTok? Apparently, children (and adults) post 15 second videos of anything which can be viewed by anyone. However, usually it involves some kind of dancing or lip singing or Meme. Then people can like your videos and follow your account. What age do you think is appropriate to allow your child to download this and do you think it is safe?

You should be more worried about your children consciously and potentially taking SSRI's at a rave

Eh? SSRI's at a RAVE

Interesting but probably ineffective

My daughter is year 7 at a nice indi school. The whole year practically is on it. I limit her screentime as I think it's a rabbit warren of crap but am
Not bothered about her posting frankly boring videos on her
Private profile. I watch what she posts though and often look at what her friends are posting through her
Profile- some girls are posting quite sexualised poses (naively). Even if your child doesn't have the app don't be surprised if they are on friends videos. Mine is often in ones filmed by others
On the school coach in the way back from practise.....

Booboostwo - I disagree.... I have recently let DD (nearly 11) get this app. She wanted musically a few years ago, and I downloaded it for her and was horrified. So she didnt get that. Now, a lot of her friends have it, and she loves doing music videos, has singing lessons, performs on stage.

I said she could have it on the understanding that she has a private account, so mean girls at school cant access it. She only has 6 friends on it - all from her school that she plays with, and she follows a few youtubers and people she likes online that post things about her cats.

There is a lot of girls in DD school that use it, and some of them have the most awful nick names like - XXX the slag.... XXX the ho ! That made me . I havent watched those girls feed, but my daughters feed and her friends and full of them dancing, singing, filming their pets, etc. No sexual pouting and posing at all. I have told her what my boundaries for this are, Ie no DM, no being friends with people she doesnt know, no following anyone without me checking first. She also knows if she gets any messages she needs to show me.

I think the technology is out there and the older they get the more they are going to want to access it. Your job isnt to ban them outright (because even if you do - how do you know they wont be on it at a friends house?), but to encourage them to talk to you and agree boundaries.

@delphic
The mean girls are the worst of your worries using that app

I went on it, added it as my niece and partners niece both had the app.

After afew days forgetting it was even on there, i was going through my gallery on my phone and there was loads of videos of kids, not anything bad, just videos they downloaded but god knows how they got saved on my phone....
I went on the app and was looking through it and came across a video of a penis ejaculating ....

So its a no from me

ballsdeep... in what sense ? Do you use it ? Have you looked at it regularly ? I do look at it almost daily .... how is it the least of my worries ?

People she doesn’t know cannot contact her . If anyone does circumnavigate this then she tells me immediately and I check regularly, people who are mean girls are blocked, and she only follows people she watches if YouTube that I’ve agreed with ??? Not sure I understand what I’ve missed ?

If you do any research into the app, it will bring up the issue that the main problem is the coding on the restrictive part of the site has so many holes you can drive a bus through them. So even if you have their settings to private, when they go searching through the videos, the security has so many holes that they can easily come across explicit content as it is relatively straightforward to get round the filters. This is why it is recommended for over 16s only.

DelphicOracle my DCs code, game, watch Netflix and Prime. They are too young for online interactions but even later something like TicToc would be one to avoid. There is no way to filter content and some of the content on there is seriously disturbing. No one tech savvy would go anywhere near it either as it is a massive security breach.

No way would I have a year 7 on it. Im shocked at a school that has most of their yr7 on ti. Id expect some better internet safety talks and suggest them to the school if it were me!

I’m confused .... genuinely I am .... her home page only shows people who are her friends . So in order to see inappropriate content t she has to go to manual search . I have looked all thru that and I have never seen random penis,s unless they are searched for ! Which brings it back to the point that if they are going to search them they can just as easily use YouTube / iPhone etc ...

I can see what she is browsing / sharing etc too. I’m sorry boob but even consumer articles and Internet forums specifically for parents don’t think it’s the devil incarnate that this thread is portraying .

And thanks all the same but I am not a fucking Luddite - please don’t infer that I don’t really “understand what I’m doing “... I’m guessing your kids aren’t old enough for this stuff yet ....

Unfortunately we were all amazing parents until we actually had kids / had kids of that age

I don't know much about the security features on the app and if there's a way of making it private and only visible to people you invite to view. I got the impression it's just available to everyone though. Google 'lovely peaches tik tok' and you will get an idea of the darker side of the app.

Trigger warning - this gives a summary of what she did. Admittedly not all of it was through tik tok, but she got 'famous' through that app: www.change.org/p/police-department-investigate-arrest-brittany-johnson-aka-peaches-aka-lovelypeaches4ever100

I thought mummydoctor was being ironic.

Nope. Not going by her other thread.

But all of the internet has a dark side .... Facebook , Instagram, snap chat, online gaming .... it doesn’t mean it’s going to happen - it means there is a risk - like with everything in life. Going to the park has risks, being driven on the motorway has risks. If you child is 11+ then there is a good chance they will have seen TikTok or have friends that use it . Therefore isn’t it better to teach them to use it more safely and know that they can have open dialogue with you about these things ?

Rather than them knowing you ban it ... so when they see something they don’t like or go fuses them st someone’s house / or outside school / they know they can talk to you about it ... isn’t that better ??

I let my 10 year old have it when it was musically. Account all private, all fine...so I thought. People could still send private messages to the account, and two were rather disturbing. Also, friends can tag people into other peoples videos. I just happened to be checking her tablet when one of these tag came through, and if was a self-harm video posted by god knows who. The app was then promptly deleted and she's never been allowed it since.

Sadly, she gets picked on at school for not having tiktok. I even had one of the mothers tell me I was "being soft" and overprotective. If you want weirdos messaging your kids, or have them watch videos of someone scraping a razor blade down their arm, fine...but I'm not allowing it for mine.

Tiktok’s dark side is uncontrollable DelpicOracle that is the whole point. When my DD is ready to learn to drive I will take her to an empty car park or a suburban street not the autobahn. Tiktok is the equivalent of teaching internet safety by throwing a learner driver on the autobahn - they may survive the experience but only through luck.

And my DD did come across TikTok by herself at 7yo which was when we removed all access to uncontrolled sites, including YouTube from her tablet. YouTube also has some worrying statistics on disturbing content being inserted under child appropriate labels.

boob to be fair a 7 year old shouldn’t be using the internet full stop. And in fairness the difference between 7 and 11 is huge .

We’re going to have to agree to disagree .... as far as I can gather you have s limited knowledge based in what you’ve read rather than practical experience.... I have used the app - I have it on my phone . I check with DD what she’s looking at..

Pls don’t underestimate what happens the older they get - everyone e else being allowed on it and then being excluded ... that is also v v damaging to children esp if it’s based on fear mongering rather than practical understanding and the experience

TikTok is a disaster but don't be fooled by other sites like Kid's Youtube either.

Total supervision - all the time. Speaking as a person with 20+ years in marketing and a masters in digital marketing. Don't leave them for a second and make sure all your family settings are locked down - keep checking them monthly or so.

I know that sounds a bit dramatic but as PP mentioned, once seen can't be unseen. And algorithms change constantly so you need to be on it.

it's is so dangerous mine will never be allowed it- one of the easiest ways for kids to be groomed

Pls don’t underestimate what happens the older they get - everyone e else being allowed on it and then being excluded ... that is also v v damaging to children esp if it’s based on fear mongering rather than practical understanding and the experience

This is such bull. My children will not be getting TikTok, Instagram, SnapChat or anything like that until they leave home because I am their parent and because I firmly believe the social damage inflicted by these apps is significantly greater than the social damage of my children not being on these apps. No child has ever really suffered because they lack the ability to post on Instagram or lip synch to a video when all their friends are doing it.

Avoid at all costs. Seriously, it's just about the worst out there.

DelphicOracle sure you can agree to disagree with everyone on the thread, no skin off my back.

@DelphicOracle everyone e else being allowed on it and then being excluded ... that is also v v damaging to children esp if it’s based on fear mongering rather than practical understanding and the experience

Not allowing an underage child access to an app "that everyone else is on" isn't damaging. They aren't sheep, they don't all need to be doing the exact.same.thing.

You're the one scaremongering by coming out with stuff like that!

Make sure the privacy settings are correct and let them know they can speak to you if anything is bothering them. No harm in checking their phone once in a while, just say that you're making sure that they are safe rather than not trusting them. Good advice here - www.commonsensemedia.org/blog/parents-ultimate-guide-to-tiktok

And...a police officer told me recently that it's easy for kids to get a cheap second phone and use that in secret, which made me think twice about being too overbearing when it comes to social media.