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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask you how you copes with the tiredness when breast feeding?

87 replies

parkersnose · 05/11/2019 16:23

I'm a few days overdue with my second baby. With my first I was determined to breastfeed but struggled so much with being totally exhausted. It broke me and my dd was on formula from a few weeks old. I was prepared for pain etc but just not the total exhaustion I felt. I ended up with quite bad post natal depression and I am sure this all contributed to how bad I felt. Please hit me with your tips for coping with the tiredness this time around? How did you all manage?

OP posts:
Skinnychip · 05/11/2019 21:24

I bf with both mine, and co slept and lay down to bf at night. But the bigggest thing was getting DH to do a night feed (so technically was mixed feeding) and then bf through the day/evening.

ArnoldWhatshisknickers · 05/11/2019 21:28

There must be a knack to it??

I guess there probably is but honestly couldn't explain it. I just found breast feeding easy in any position, lying down, sitting up, walking around. I think it depends in part on the baby. My eldest took to it instantly, I always reckoned she taught me if that makes sense? My youngest was not so easy but that time I knew what I was doing. Just dumb luck really.

AnotherUserName19 · 05/11/2019 21:28

Lots of co sleepers.. I'm a bit paranoid about doing it safely.. Have a snuzpod, baby's in a sleeping bag. What's the best set up on the bed? If I do do it, I'll pop him on the duvet so there's no way it can Viber his face, and have all pillows away from him/behind me. Does that sound ok? Anyone else doing anything different? (I really like to have my duvet all cosy around me).
Also, it sounds like no one is picking their little one up to burp, do you find you don't really need to when they feed half asleep on their side?
I'm jealous of all these people who can do this, I just get too anxious about it, but feel we're missing out on some lovely and easy feeding (and sleeping!) time.

AnotherUserName19 · 05/11/2019 21:29

Viber=cover

Sotiredbutcannotsleep · 05/11/2019 21:29

Lots of fluids, breastfeeding vitamins, nursing tea and 2 Spatone (iron) sachets a day. If it happens again, get your iron levels checked via your GP just in case.

Rainycloudyday · 05/11/2019 21:49

@AnotherUserName19 definitely don’t put the baby on top of the duvet, you need to take the duvet off the bed altogether. Lying on a duvet isn’t safe as it is too movable and soft. The baby can only lie on a flat sheet over the mattress. There are lots of other rules on safe co-sleeping and I’m no expert as I’ve never done it, I just don’t feel safe, but clearly lots of people do. That just jumped out at me so I thought I’d say, but please please if anyone is thinking of co-sleeping make sure you know EXACTLY how to set things up to minimise risk.

Rainycloudyday · 05/11/2019 21:50

@GingerFoxInAT0phat That’s great with your first baby...not really possible when you have other children to look after and take out though!

RolytheRhino · 05/11/2019 21:52

@AnotherUserName19

Here you go:

www.lullabytrust.org.uk/safer-sleep-advice/co-sleeping/

I love cosleeping.

mawof3soontobe · 05/11/2019 22:07

Co-sleep, lullaby trust for all guidance. Quite concerned about the poster who slept sitting up in a chair with a breastfeeding pillow, so unrecommended and quite worrying. Glad it didn't end badly for you but not good advice to pass on I'm afraid.
For those asking how to get your nipple to sit not pointing in the mattress, a rolled up muslin under your boob. Or lay on your back with boob hanging down to the side if you're no longer in perky land like a lot of us. Blush No need to wake a breastfed baby to burp, they don't take in the same air as Ff. Of course they need to still burp but it doesn't tend to cause the bunging up that my FF babies got. If I felt very tired or needed to stretch out some nights then I finish a feed, lay baby on his chest on my chest so he's still asleep, sit slightly upright to let his wind ease out itself then I've mastered a little barrel roll supporting his neck into the next to me. I tend to do it so quick I don't even think he realises he's moved! He's still swaddled for now so not sure if it'll work in future but I'll take what I can get now.

onetimeonlyy · 05/11/2019 22:17

Wish I'd learnt to feed lying down! I'm still BFing 9.5 month old and he still doesn't sleep. I always feed sitting up. Last month on holiday that included 4 hours non stop when he was sick. I have read hundreds of books on my phone. I re read all the Harry Potter's, trashy romances, series I enjoyed previously.. It helped me to focus on that.

During the days, if I'm really shattered I try and nap when he does.. But that's rare now as I always have so much to do but I napped more when he was little

No other advice other than... Buy nice coffee, think positive, it's not forever and you're stronger than you know!

onetimeonlyy · 05/11/2019 22:19

I used a bedside cot, meant to say

Crotchgoblins · 05/11/2019 22:23

Co slept from day 1 with dc2. Took me over 6 months to be broken by hourly wake ups with dc1 to then co sleep with them.

Go to bed early, nap in the day when baby sleeps ( if possible) keep older child in nursery for one day ( again if possible).

Lower your expectations of how clean your house will be.

I'm am 2 stone heavier than pre children and have aged 10 years in 5 from tiredness.

Mascarponeandwine · 05/11/2019 22:23

Interesting about the rolled up muslin under the boob. I’m not sure if I’d have managed that - baby muslin etc, I never was good at playing twister Grin. Do wish I’d bought a bedside cot though as think that would have helped a bit.

SmallAndFarAway · 05/11/2019 22:26

Eating lots of cake...

gonewiththerain · 05/11/2019 22:27

I ate a lot,4 meals a day plus snacks. Co slept from 4 months when he could roll.
Make sure you’re not anemic, I was and no one noticed until ds was 7 months old. I felt much better after some iron tablets but had to keep taking a few a week until he was 18 months

hookiwooki · 05/11/2019 22:27

Co-sleepers here too. You want to look for the Safe Sleep Seven on Google.

Definitely no duvets, no extra pillows, no lamp cords etc, no alcohol, fags, drugs, and best avoided if you get ill enough to medicate heavily. Mine have also slept on the opposite side of me to DH, and we've used a Snuzpod that neither have actually slept in placed up to the bottom of my pillow, so if they roll that's where they end up.

I sleep with my top knee below my babies' bums and my bottom arm stretched out above their heads so they can't wriggle up or down.

I use giant cellular blankets on the bed just in case, tucking it under my top arm and under my bottom knee. DH found them online when I reached breaking point a few days in with my first and was terrified I would fall asleep holding DC1.

Your body heat keeps the baby warm. Heating is set to 17-18, and my youngest is currently in a nappy and a gro. He's nice and toasty.

I wear a long sleeved nightshirt, close fitting and unbuttoned enough that I can lift a breast out.

Before I settle for the night I make sure he feeds twice on my left side, because he sleeps on my right (and my boob stays out overnight) and then first thing in the morning I feed him on the left. That way by morning my boobs are pretty even.

For the first week or two you'll wake when they stir, then latch and drift back off. After that if you're lucky they figure it out and latch themselves without waking you up.

Aside from that, if I've ever needed a bit of extra sleep I use a feeding cushion around my middle and sleep sitting propped on the sofa while DH is on watching duty.

As the weeks go by the sleeping gets better and the feeds get shorter/further apart. I always like the mantra "this too shall pass". Because it always does, and then I miss it.

For the first few months I slept from about 8pm, now I make it until about 11 most nights, and watch tv or read. DH comes up to keep me company.

WhiskersPete · 05/11/2019 22:32

Cosleep and learn to bf lying down. You have to practise it a bit at first but eventually you don't even wake up when baby feeds. Total game changer

MagpieWife · 05/11/2019 22:35

I am managing it with a baby by eating ALL THE TIME - breakfast, snack, lunch, dessert, snack, dinner, dessert. I have lost all the baby weight so it's working for me too!

I also side-feed (breastfeed lying down on my side) when the baby naps during the day - I am too nervous to co-sleep at night but I feel safe to snooze with him during the day when it's just the two of us in the bed.

Good luck, I hope you can figure it out!

BeanTownNancy · 05/11/2019 22:38

A few times a week in the morning when my husband was around to hold the baby I would grab a quick shower, fill water bottles and leave them strategically next to the sofa and the bed and bake a quick batch of flapjacks; sugar hit, fat, slow-release carbs - the ideal breastfeeding snack.

And did the side-sleeper cot / co-sleeping thing. DS2 is now 6 months old, still breastfeeding, and sleeping through the night in his own room, so just because you do co-sleeping at first, it doesn't have to be forever. :)

firstimemamma · 05/11/2019 22:53

Ate loads
Ton of coffee / tea
Will power / reminding myself I didn't want to give up when things were hard
A support group / help line. Sometimes I'd ring the national breastfeeding help line and just cry.

I don't really know how I did it tbh. After month 3 was over, it became much, much easier and lovely. Ds is 15 months old now and has one bedtime feed. My fiancé was a great support and I honestly think I'd have given up without him. Do you have a good support network?

Do you have a bedside crib / next to me crib? Anything that saves energy in the night is worth it imo.

Good luck and I'm sorry to hear you found it so tough first time round. It really is hard Thanks

TheBabyAteMyBrain · 05/11/2019 22:56

Another bed sharer here. Also there was only 18 months between my two so I timed the after lunch naps so I could sleep too. It worked for the first 6 months which massively helped in my energy levels.

IceCreamConewithaflake · 05/11/2019 23:01

KitKats. Lots of KitKats.

Kiwiinkits · 05/11/2019 23:11

By mix feeding. One bottle a day of formula from about 2 weeks old. At 7pm.
Introducing a routine early helped too. Gently waking the baby for a first feed at 7am for example.

Kiwiinkits · 05/11/2019 23:12

Chocolate wasn’t great - I noticed the effects of it coming through my breastmilk on my babies

Skysblue · 05/11/2019 23:30

Tiramisu. I was on 2 a day. I wasn’t tired at all the first 5 weeks.

It takes fat to make milk. Make sure your body is getting enough.

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