To ask you how you copes with the tiredness when breast feeding?

[parkersnose]

I'm a few days overdue with my second baby. With my first I was determined to breastfeed but struggled so much with being totally exhausted. It broke me and my dd was on formula from a few weeks old. I was prepared for pain etc but just not the total exhaustion I felt. I ended up with quite bad post natal depression and I am sure this all contributed to how bad I felt. Please hit me with your tips for coping with the tiredness this time around? How did you all manage?

What they all said. Plus dh in charge of sorting out older child and gives me a lie in/nap whenever possible. Bedsharing and feeding lying down means I feel rested enough as long as I'm in bed by 10.

In the beginning I was going to bed around 7/8 and had expressed a bottle for my husband to give at 10/11 for me to then sleep till baby woke at around 1/2 so I would get a good chunk of sleep. I was eating everything sweet in sight, lots of Diet Coke and coffee!

Ate & drank loads. Also just fed literally whenever they wanted during day, this seemed to mean they did at least one longer stretch at night. Accepted evening cluster feeds & found that they didn't last more than a couple of hours or so if I didn't even try to delatch the baby during that time.

Tbf, second child has been easier than first. It's a myth that they sleep longer on formula, my first was sleeping through (7-6) from about 15 weeks on nothing but BM, second does a good chunk (5-6 hours or so) at start of the night, at 5 weeks corrected!

Breastfeeding vitamins and lots of food. I read recently that producing milk takes about 25% of your energy intake, so you've got to make sure you're eating well and eating enough.

I was too paranoid to co-sleep so:

1. Eat ALL the food
2. DS woke every 30-45 mins for 5 months so I went to bed early having expressed a bottle which DH fed him, and then napped a bit at night. At 6am DH would get up and look after DS for 2 hrs (4 at the weekend) so I could sleep.
3. Get a good breast pump. Game changer.
4. Let everything else slide. Housework etc.
5. Ask family to help. My parents were a lifesaver, if DH went away overnight I'd stay with them.

It's really hard if your baby doesn't sleep, but I understand that our situation is unusual and most DC sleep a lot better than DS (DS is the cutest, most intelligent, most wonderful child in the world though so I'd take him over any other )

Finally - bf is not the most important thing (benefits are fairly marginal on an individual level). If you're destroyed with tiredness and/or PND it is ALWAYS better to switch to formula. It is not your fault.

Forgot to say - mixed feeding can be a good option once bf is established. Some breast milk and some formula.

Next to Me crib and a supportive partner who did everything else while I focused on feeding baby.

Oh and yes for the first few weeks I watched stuff while they fed as I didn't want to co-sleep but also didn't want to fall asleep while DD was feeding. I brought my laptop/tablet to bed and just resumed watching episodes of boxsets every time she fed.

co-sleeping and feeding whilst lying down .

Another co-sleeper here. I barely woke up at all for night feeds. I found my second a lot less tiring than my first though I have always put that down to the time of year*. My daughter was born end of November, my son early May. I find I need less sleep in summer.

Also lost less weight with my boy, only dropping 8 pounds below healthy BMI rather than the stone two pounds below with my girl. And I ate like a goddamn horse.

*I appreciate that is not the least bit helpful, hopefully your experience will be different

My partner took some time off in addition to paternity leave and then I got my mum to stay for a couple of weeks. They basically did everything else - housework, cooking, everything, and took the baby for long walks in the buggy in the day so I could nap. So all I had to do, was feed the baby. With our second, I kept the eldest in nursery 4 days a week and had someone look after her on the 4th as I didnt think I'd be able to cope otherwise

How do you get a baby out of a next to me cot without hurting your back? You have to sit up and pick them ip and end up BF sitting up..? (Likely I’m doing it wrong)

Lots of milky drinks and chocolate hobnobs, get as much help as you can with other things, and breastfeed lying down.

I ff my 1st and was sleep deprived as he wasn't a good sleeper so I was up in the night soothing him and making bottles. I've bf my next 2 and personality found it much easier. When they wake or cry or are upset the magic boob sorts it all! Safely co slept from birth with no problems, saved my sanity, I do not do well on minimum sleep!

Honestly? I didn’t cope with breastfeeding at all and would never do it again. I had a bottle refuser and was trapped for 9 long months and it nearly broke me physically and mentally.

And guess what? My breastfed child is no different at all (if anything, less healthy) than my formula fed child. I, however, feel that I have suffered permanent and irreversible damage to my mind and body from the torturous long months of sleep deprivation .

Sorry to be negative, just being honest.

I had a high backed nursing chair and a firm breastfeeding cushion. I tried to stay as asleep as possible as I picked up the baby got him/her on the breast then I sort of dozed as s/he fed. The feeding pillow kept the baby at the right height, the high back chair allowed me to rest my head back.

I had changing gear laid out near where I fed. Each baby pooed at least three time during a feed. I only changed them once, at the end when all the poo was out. I could do that half asleep with the second and third due to so much practice.

Then I got back to bed, trying very hard not to actually properly wake up at any point.

I had a small night light on, very dim, all to help me stay half asleep.

It worked for me.

Amazon link to breastfeeding pillow I had

Eat eat eat. Take food to bed to eat during night feeds.
Drink one coffee/coke during the day.

Be kind to yourself if you decide not to continue.

Every baby is different.my dd only took 10-15mins to feed, would wake in the night, feed and straight back to sleep, only change a poo nappy so i never had any tiredness/exhaustion.

I used to feed lying down in my bed so i stayed cozy and warm, then straightback to sleep for 3/4hrs until she woke for next feed

Co-sleeping. It's a lifesaver.

I always found feeding lying down impossible, and got mastitis from a poor latch in that position. Plus when lying on my side my nipple seemed to be pushed into the mattress rather than anywhere near baby’s mouth. There must be a knack to it??

Nap as often as you can during the day even if it’s just 20 mins here and there whilst baby is laid in cot and absolutely either co sleep or have them in a “next to me” style cot right by your bed. I used to just scoop baby up and onto my boob as soon as he started to whinge, I’d then snooze whilst he fed laying down. I did this during the day too - not always sleeping of course but just feeding laying down and having a rest. I got serious back and neck ache from feeding sitting up so laying down was my preferred position definitely! You can get proper advice regarding the positions from nhs or any reputable breastfeeding association.
I also expressed a bit when baby slept so there was a bit spare and dad could give a bottle in the early morning before work and let me get another half and hour kip!

I never co-slept, I slept whenever possible, mid morning, afternoons, early evening, just dozed whenever I could.

Always had snacks and drinks ready for me for feeds, I ate lots.

I co slept and pretty much spent 6 months lazing about with a baby attached to my boob - I loved it.

I went to bed early and left DH with baby for a few hours before he went to bed. He'd being her up for feeds if necessary (right at the beginning) and then take her away again. Still knackered now but staying up a bit later as I missed evenings. At 9 weeks baby is waking 1 or 2 times a night but getting quicker at feeding/settling after feeds so I'm getting by....good luck!