AIBU to want to boycott M&S?

[thatdamnwoman]

Marks & Spencer has made its changing rooms unisex because it is striving to be inclusive and it wants everyone to feel comfortable in whichever changing room they want. Which means that a woman like me, who wants to try on clothes in an area where I know I won't encounter men if I step outside the cubicle to see how a garment moves when I walk, is now excluded from M&S.

There's evidence that when facilities are made unisex the number of sexual incidents goes up:

www.independent.co.uk/life-style/women/sexual-assault-unisex-changing-rooms-sunday-times-women-risk-a8519086.html

I think most ordinary men are horrified at the thought of unisex facilities. They're worried that they might cause offence or be mistakenly accused of predatory behaviour. On the other hand the changing rooms will be a magnet for all those men who get a transgressive thrill from going where they shouldn't and being just a few inches away from where a woman's changing her clothing.

I've contacted M&S and they just say they want to be inclusive and if anything happens to anyone in the changing room they'll take appropriate action. But why should anything inappropriate have to happen?

This year we're having guests for four days over Christmas and I would normally be spending at least £200 at M&S. This year I'll shop elsewhere instead. And I won't be buying gifts or clothes or home stuff from them either.

Will anyone join me in a boycott?

And they apparently expect incidents to be dealt with there and then? By whom? The sales assistants? People on not more than minimum wage, possibly school leavers, dealing with assaults with what training exactly? Let’s not pretend shops actually have adequate security these days. I know the one where my sister works doesn’t, they just watch the shoplifters run out the door there 🙄

This company seem to be determined to fold

Predators come in both genders

I mean, I get that that is the party line. I just can't help wonder if you actually believe it as you type it?

As long as the cubicles have lockable solid doors I wouldn’t have any problem with this. You are getting changed in your own little room which has a locked door.

Predators come in both genders

First of all it’s sex. Sex and gender are not the same thing.

Secondly, no they do not. Not in any meaningful sense. Look up the stats in this regard, if you don’t believe.

Women as a class have protections from men as a class for extremely important, proven reasons. Men do not belong in female-only spaces.

You get totally naked at the swimming baths in unisex cubicle areas. Why would getting half naked in M&S be any different?

Though M&S are bvvvvu as they are totally excluding their target market.

it's a fetish and M and S are making female customers and their female staff props in their fetish

The member of staff I spoke to at my local store said they often had to deal with a 'gentleman' (her word) who had regular bra fittings. They would do what they could to ensure he was not attended by young or inexperienced staff.

All these points have already been answered on the thread.

I've contacted M&S and they just say they want to be inclusive and if anything happens to anyone in the changing room they'll take appropriate action. But why should anything inappropriate have to happen?

So a woman has to be attacked before they'll do anything?

We see you, Marks & Spencer. I used to shop with you - now I shan't be.

Don’t think they have.

@ShesDressedInBlackAgain yes. and aibu is the perfect place to see how mean, aggressive, judgmental and ignorant women can be. usually women use different strategies, the results are equally destructive

YANBU

If they're not 'right on' with this week's fad they'll get slammed, they can't win. If you don't go along with these fads then you are apparently the baddies, how dare you have a contrary opinion to the popular one.

To compare it to race is (a) predictable and (b) utterly stupid.

Please don't try and tell a womans board that there as as many female predators as there are male preditors (sex not gender).

It's just absolute bollocks.

You get totally naked at the swimming baths in unisex cubicle areas. Why would getting half naked in M&S be any different?

I do not use swimming baths for this reason, I would love to swim but I don't feel at all comfortable with unisex changing there.

There was a post on the other about a lady using the cubicle next door to a customer who was having a fitting following a mastectomy. This is a highly intimate interaction - can you imagine having a man undressing next to you?

And Urban Outfitters, Primark etc. They don't offer a fitting service so the. dignity and boundaries of their staff is not affected in the same way.

YANBU

As ever, what men think trumps what women think.

One thing that puzzles me is that if there are incidences of self-ID transwomen assaulting women in mixed sex changing rooms (or anywhere) then do police have to report it as a crime committed by a woman, because they have self ID’d, and thus skewing stats, or by the person’s actual sex? Or the fact they are self IDing?

And many men with a fetish for female clothing will push the boundaries. With women on their way in and out of cubicles, with assistants, in the queue. Because that is part of the fetish. That might be asking for help with fastenings, asking for opinions, getting you involved somehow. If you're uncomfortable that is even more of a turn on for some of them.

And I don't want to be involved in someone else's fetish when I am trying on poor quality polyester trousers in a dubious cut. So I'm out.

I must be in the minority I couldn’t care less who is in the changing room next to me Especially as the marks ones have lockable doors and the bra fitting ones also have a curtain .
Yes I’d also be happy to take my daughter in for a bra fitting .
Generally though I now order on line and try on at home that way I can try items on with other things I have and properly try for comfort .
I think people are over reacting over this gender neutrality but that is their right. I’m guessing your teenagers wouldn’t have an issue either .

You get fitted behind a closed door. My dd was done last week, all you hear is try this one, you might be an ... cup. So not an issue, she wouldn’t give a stuff who was next door.

I think fatface and other mixed changing rooms have a different design concept where I live. In my fatface the entrance part to the changing rooms is quite open and the locked, fully closed cubicles are in a kind of shallow u shape. An attendant is always there or close by. M&S work on the old style long corridors, few if any, attendants which imo isn’t safe.
Maybe they won’t give a shit about boycotting but I think they have behaved in a misogynistic fashion over this and I can’t support them.

You get totally naked at the swimming baths in unisex cubicle areas. Why would getting half naked in M&S be any different?

Because at the pool I tend not to talk to the other person in my cubicle about the size and shape of my breasts and the kind of bra I like.

I personally will still use m&s as the same sex changing rooms doesn’t bother me however I can appreciate why others wouldn’t be comfortable. They are going to lose a lot of customers

and aibu is the perfect place to see how mean, aggressive, judgmental and ignorant women can be. usually women use different strategies, the results are equally destructive

Hyperbole was your mate there wasn't it?

The nest of vipers is just as bad as anything a predatory male can do? Do me a favour.