Boxing Day

[snowfallx]

My SIL has invited me my partner and our 2 kids to hers for Boxing Day with her mom, partner and 2 kids. At first I accepted thinking it will take the pressure off me cooking both days however I've now reconsidered just because she is one of these that has a 'best room' which is her only living room in the house. Nobody is allowed to enter not even her own kids. She has a kitchen which she uses every day which has small seating area which has one chair and one pouffe type thing. It's going to be a VERY tight squeeze with 5 adults and 4 kids especially whilst she's cooking in the same room🤔

I hosted Boxing Day last year for the in laws and whilst my house has nice things in I didn't mind them making a mess and playing because it's Christmas. AIBU to change my mind because I don't really want to be cramped up in a small area with so many people and eat my dinner feeling claustrophobic or should I just go along to keep the peace?

Ask her outright is she opening the room for her guests?
If it's a no just send her a diagram with all the invitees drawn squashed together and tell her it's best you stay home..

I did ask her she didn't answer but didn't get chance her mom said 'it's just the kids and the mess'

It's Christmas it will hoover/wipe

I think maybe I will go with the diagram 😂

Decide fast before she starts organising anything.

It's her home, she is free to keep it as she likes. I do find it as weird to have a "best room" as to host in your kitchen, but the whole point of your home is to put the rules you like!

I would be a bit worried my kids would be bored out of their mind if they had to sit still in a kitchen for the entire day, so on that note i wouldn't accept the invitation - especially for Christmas, they should be allowed to play and have fun.

Thanks I will discuss further with my partner when he finishes work but yes I agree they are going to be bored all sandwiched into one small space all day and unable to play with toys etc.

As the host it's her choice where everybody sits personally I wouldn't invite guests over at Christmas and leave them sat in the kitchen with two seats between 9 of us and probably her moms dog aswell

I would accept the invitation, as you say in your OP that this is the only reason not to accept, so it sounds like you get on well with your in-laws generally and will have a nice time.

I'm guessing the kids will be with you for the meal and then will disappear upstairs to play in the kids' bedrooms, so you won't all be squashed in together for too long?

Are they nearby, could you just pop in for a couple of hours?

@LucileDuplessis yeah they are generally nice people but no the kids will not be allowed to disappear off upstairs in her house unfortunately as this would of been a lot easier to decide on. She is really funny about people going upstairs at her house or in any room that's not the kitchen 😂

Surely a best room is opened up for these kind of occasions, as otherwise when is it ever used?

@Wilmalovescake yes I was going to turn the offer of spending the day there and having dinner down but suggest popping over for an hour in the evening

@SissySpacekAteMyHamster I have no idea, it's laminated flooring so I don't really see what the issue is. She has a crushed velvet sofa so do I, it doesn't mean nobody can ever sit on it just because I don't want it a little dirty it will wash. I'm not sure but I am going to speak to her later and suggest we just go over in the evening

When does hse use the best room?

She has one living room and no one is allowed in it? She sounds mad

I wouldn’t want to spend the day at someone’s house where I would be restricted to a kitchen all day

Well I've never been in there at all so I'm not sure it's ever used 🤔 I did think Christmas she would of definitely used it, I think maybe she would have if her mom hadn't piped in and shut the idea down straight away

To be fair, some people LOVE their kitchen and spend their entire life in it, diner parties included! (and with the tv on too!)

I'd never understand that, but it's quite common.

We had a best living room growing up but it was specifically for special occasions like christmas, and having guests over. When is it ever used?!

If it was a large kitchen with a dinner table and seating space it wouldn't seem so bad but I'm not joking when I say the space is going to be very very limited especially when the kids are going to want toys and she is going to be cooking

Sounds a bit rubbish. I presume there’s a table and chairs in the kitchen? Could you go for a few hours instead of the whole thing?

Kinky sex room. Definitely.

Just me who thought that...?

I'm sure she's thought about where she's going to seat the people she's invited. I'd go.

Just me who thought that...?
yes

You sound fussy. You want her to cook for you all but you want to choose where to eat.

Either go and accept her food and seating area with grace or don’t go and save on the washing up.

I wouldn't ask my kids to sit still all day on Christmas day either

No table and chairs there not enough space for one, and haha! It probably is, must be considering nobody is allowed to enter

@NormaBean no I'm not fussy🤔 I cooked for her last year but didn't seclude her kids to one room I'm just saying AIBU to change my mind based on the fact I don't want my 3 year old and 5 year old to become irritable because they have no space to play with anything