Boxing Day

[snowfallx]

My SIL has invited me my partner and our 2 kids to hers for Boxing Day with her mom, partner and 2 kids. At first I accepted thinking it will take the pressure off me cooking both days however I've now reconsidered just because she is one of these that has a 'best room' which is her only living room in the house. Nobody is allowed to enter not even her own kids. She has a kitchen which she uses every day which has small seating area which has one chair and one pouffe type thing. It's going to be a VERY tight squeeze with 5 adults and 4 kids especially whilst she's cooking in the same room🤔

I hosted Boxing Day last year for the in laws and whilst my house has nice things in I didn't mind them making a mess and playing because it's Christmas. AIBU to change my mind because I don't really want to be cramped up in a small area with so many people and eat my dinner feeling claustrophobic or should I just go along to keep the peace?

She sounds awful

ThatMuppetShow . I'll get my coat...

My sil used to do this too and accused me of lying when I mentioned it to her (I am the only person in her and our family who doesn’t bitch about her behind her back; neither her family nor mine like to go to hers any more). I gave up on her and DB after that.

I personally don't think so much more her mom making the decisions for her because she also has a 'best room' so when we visit her we sit in the conservatory obviously SIL doesn't have that option

No table and chairs? Where does she expect everyone to sit?! Is it a buffet she’s doing? I can’t get my head around this tbh, all those people expected to stand up all day?

If theres no table and chairs how/where are you all going to eat??

Haven't you posted about her before? This sounds familiar.

No wonder it's her 'best' room .

Does she not even allow other adults into it, then? If she had friends for dinner would they have to sit in the kitchen all night?

BeatriceTheBeast

If it was, I think I would be grateful NOT to be invited on the crushed velvet sofa

Hmm I don't no I'm going to cancel anyway and go on the evening for an hour

Muppet. Thank God it has laminate floors though...

Sorry, definitely going now. I am not helping.

Yanbu btw op. I'd not want to go either really. It would be nice if you could reach an agreement with her, so you can all see each other, but I wouldn't want a whole sit down meal in those circumstances. We have a very small house and are hosting Christmas this year, but that's not the same as hosting but not letting anyone in to your only...em 'reception room' is it?

@BeatriceTheBeast no you made me laugh actually, I will definitely put this to her when I see her I will say something along the lines of, I know why nobody is allowed in the living room now it's your red room 😂

I don't understand the concept of having a best room when you have small children it just doesn't fathom in my head. I like my home to be lived in not a show home where nobody can sit on the sofa on walk on the rug

Could you suggest a Boxing Day walk somewhere, ending up at a pub? Take the dog out etc.

If that's a non-starter, I'd say you don't want to be rude, but you just don't see how she can accomodate that many people in her kitchen when there's not enough chairs if she's not going to use the 'best' room chairs. That if you are going to spend the day on your feet, you'd rather go out for a walk than just be stood in her kitchen, particularly as you expect she will want all the children to stay in the kitchen at the same time.

I don't understand the concept of having a best room when you have small children it just doesn't fathom in my head.

I could just about understand - because of the small children, you have 1 room that is yours and away from the chaos. My kids are not really allowed in my bedroom, and definitively forbidden to bring their friends in it! It's not inviting your guests in it that is very weird.... even if Beatrice has explained it

Is this your brother’s wife? Can you not just ask him?

Its a "dungeon". No one's allowed upstairs because she has bondage gear indoor chickens.

You can have a best room in the house, if you have a family type room for the family/kids to lounge in. We had a snug, a large kitchen and a lounge which was a best room when I was little, but we had somewhere to sit and play - the MILs rule doesn’t work in the SILs house - it’s fecking stupid!

Yes @Neome! I knew I wouldn't be the only one.

I feel validated .

We have a best room. No toys allowed in - dc are though, and if we had an relatives I would allow them in also!!. I am sure dh would prefer it to be some sort of sex den tbh....

No it's my partners sister not my brothers wife. I'm just going to suggest again she opens up the 'best room' for Boxing Day as to accommodate for everybody and to be able to sit comfortable and away from the kitchen which is dangerous anyway for the kids to be in whilst the cooker is on as it is such a confined space. Thanks for all your suggestions I don't feel so bad about it now

If there was another room we could lounge comfortable in I wouldn't be having this issue, it's Christmas I want to eat all the heroes and celebrations and pig out not telling my children 'sit down, be quiet, come away from the cooker, don't mess with that' yes I think I will stay home