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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To sell my nans ring(passed on to me) to fund a much needed holiday?

377 replies

happyandsingle · 04/11/2019 12:00

Basically this.Have an old diamond ring passed down from my mum it was originally my nans.
Have worn it for years but basically it only fits on one finger(that I think is meant to be the engagement finger or so I've been told) and I am most definitely single!.
It's a nice ring but my dilemma is I'm desperate for a holiday abroad next year for me and my dd.
It's been a shit couple of years and I've had one holiday in ten years paid for by my mum.
I could save but basically on my budget it would be very tight and would mean sacrificing a lot.
My idea was to pawn the ring to get the money for the holiday. I would probably feel guilty but on the other hand I'm sure if my nan was alive she would want me to make the most of it.
My AIBU is do you feel it's a bad thing to do as it was passed down to me? And will I feel guilty after?

OP posts:
Newbie1981 · 04/11/2019 13:23

I think you will regret that. I did it and bought it back by borrowing money as I realised how awful that made me

Perunatop · 04/11/2019 13:23

IMO selling the ring would be a big mistake that you might regret later. Pawning would be even worse, just take out a loan instead (not a high interest one obviously).

Perunatop · 04/11/2019 13:24

And check out the £10 a day threads to see if there are options to make a bit of extra money.

Fairyflaps · 04/11/2019 13:25

We looked at selling some old family engagement rings on behalf of my in-laws earlier this year. 24carat gold, 1920s - 1940s, old fashioned style with 3 diamonds in a row along the top. Because they're not a fashionable style, we were only offered a couple of hundred tops for the value of the gold and diamonds - which is far less than we had been expecting. They chose not to sell in the end, and would rather give them to family members to enjoy.

Shop around and get a few quotes before you make your mind up. It's not a bad thing to do, but if if you enjoy wearing it and thinking of your Nan, there may be other things you could flog on eBay and make more money.

BubblesBuddy · 04/11/2019 13:25

Lockheart: there is a big resurgence in the popularity of old cut diamonds. It really depends on how old they are and clarity, colour and carat will still be important. Settings do go out of fashion but for high quality designers, it’s actually important to keep the ring as genuine as possible. I know some people don’t value this aspect of jewellery but it can devalue decent pieces if you break them up and redesign them. However if it’s just a fairly ordinary ring with 1/2 carat it won’t be of great value but no one posting has seen it.

Sostenueto · 04/11/2019 13:25

If the ring is the only thing you have of your nans once it's gone it's gone and you have nothing of her to remind you of her I think it depends on how close you were to your nan really.

Daenerys77 · 04/11/2019 13:27

It's your property, so you can do what you like with it and if you choose to sell it you can do what you like with the proceeds. I don't know much about the second hand jewellery market but I suspect you may not get the best price by pawning it.

Sostenueto · 04/11/2019 13:28

My daughter has never been on holiday with her dd and she is now nearly 18. My dd could never afford it and I had to help in other financial ways. You could opt for days out with your dd like my dd did instead of a holiday abroad.

redspider1 · 04/11/2019 13:29

I understand. I actually think your nan would want you to be happy and if that means that the thing of value she has left you could help you out then she'd probably give you her blessing. It is true though that second hand jewellery is about a third of retail value. You only have to look at second hand in shop windows and the shop is making a profit still. I have a ring from my DGM insured for £1700 but to sell I would only get £400 if that.

Skinnychip · 04/11/2019 13:30

I and my sister have just inherited some jewellery from my mum. We kept her engagement ring and wedding ring (neither of which are especially valuable) but there are several other bits that are not really our style. They are mainly 9ct and semi precious stones, we are going to scrap them.

autumn2203 · 04/11/2019 13:30

I would use the ring if I could not afford to eat or pay the bills, and risked homelessness. I would not pawn it for a holiday no matter how much I needed one. I think you will feel dreadful about it afterwards honestly. Why not safe supermarket vouchers or a couple of pounds a week for a short holiday instead? Or ask everyone that would normally buy you a christmas or birthday gift to chip into a holiday fund instead?

However you must do whatever you wish, but I am not sure you will find many people that will agree that this is a good use of such a precious ring.

churchandstate · 04/11/2019 13:31

They are mainly 9ct and semi precious stones, we are going to scrap them.

What a waste! I love semi-precious stones. What have you got? 😂

myolivetree · 04/11/2019 13:32

God OP it's only stuff!

It's lovely to have something sentimental of your nan's but much more important is the future and your time with your daughter.

Your NaN would have wanted your happiness above any piece of jewellery. If you think this bit of cash will do that do it! Choose a lovely experience together above things.

I'm no jewellery expert unlike lots on here and I hope it's worth £££££ for you! Have that holiday together.

Maryann1975 · 04/11/2019 13:32

Bit unrealistic to expect every item which holds some sentimental value to someone should be passed down the family line forevermore... where does it end? Some poor sod with a box full of stuff they don’t care about from people they never even knew?
My dm has a box of jewellery she has inherited from her mother, her grandmother and her great grandmother (maybe others as there are a couple of childless aunts in the family too). Mixed in to the same box are rings that came from my paternal grandmothers. There are loads of rings in there, I wouldn’t have a clue which ring came from where, but my mum is adamant that they have to be kept because they are sentimental. They are, but really, only to her. Her own engagement ring came from Argos because it was the only one they could afford. Why they didn’t use one of the rings out of this box instead of buying another one, I have no idea.

I can’t get attached to pieces of jewellery that I have never seen worn by someone. And if the money you get from selling your ring means you can do something that you really want to, go for it. If you’d dd feels anything like me, she won’t really thank you for saving it for her. I have no idea where I am even meant to put all the ‘sentimental’ stuff my mum thinks needs to be kept forever. We aren’t all in the position to own big homes with spare bedrooms!

Confusedbeetle · 04/11/2019 13:33

No absolutely not. It was given to you as a sentimental treasure. Nobody NEEDS a holiday

myolivetree · 04/11/2019 13:34

@Confusedbeetle

You really don't know that.

AfterSomeAdvice1234 · 04/11/2019 13:35

I mean this in a kind way, but it really won't be worth much (something like 1/5th of the original value when it was bought, then a 5% depreciation per year) so really not enough for a holiday. Plus, down the line you'll probably regret it.

Sgtmajormummy · 04/11/2019 13:36

The fact it’s an engagement ring would hold me back. Anything else would be cashed in without a second thought.
I have my grandmother’s engagement ring and it’s being kept for if and when DS finds the right person. He can either use it or sell it to buy something suitable. He has no memories of my DGM so why should he be honour bound to keep it?
My own engagement ring (modelled on DGM’s design) will go to DD when I snuff it! That way I’m giving equal treatment to both DC.

However I realize I have the luxury of being able to think that way. OP does not. Do what you want!

MaleficentsCrow · 04/11/2019 13:36

So I'm the keeper of family engagement rings it would seem I have my great grandmothers, my grandmother has said I will have hers, my mother has already given me hers (she doesn't wear it) would I sell them? No, because each women is known to me. I have a son, he will inherit them, he may use one to give to a future wife, he may sell them. Ultimately the decision would be his to make.

I say, do what makes you happy. Eventually you will be in a box in the ground some 30 years after your death you won't even be a living memory. Live life as you wish to live it. Go on holiday be happy.

Fifteenthnamechange · 04/11/2019 13:39

Do it OP. The memories a holiday can give u will be better Thanks

redspider1 · 04/11/2019 13:39

I am sentimental but I am starting to change because after DM died a few years ago , I felt bogged down by the weight of responsibility for her things. I keep too much stuff and had nowhere for it. I wear her engagement ring because she always wore it and I always liked it. it's not valuable.
I started to think about my own DDs and that I wouldn't want to burden them with guilt over my stuff. So I have told them(they are 19 and 15) that in the future they are to do what they want with my jewellery and things so long as it benefits them.

TARSCOUT · 04/11/2019 13:42

If you.need to ask you you know the answer.

feelingverylazytoday · 04/11/2019 13:43

Confusedbeetle nobody needs 'sentimental treasures' either.
I wouldn't think twice about this. If you think you and your daughter will get more benefit out of the money then look into selling it.

Gingerkittykat · 04/11/2019 13:43

I have my grandma's engagement ring and it is so small it won't even fit on my pinkie. I won't sell it but am thinking of having it remade into another piece of jewellery.

Chloe84 · 04/11/2019 13:43

Of course you should sell it if you want to.

People keep too much stuff in the name of sentimentality. I got robbed recently and my jewellery only survived because I shad shoved it in the attic. I’m tempted to sell it so I never have to worry about it again.

Having said that, I still wear my dad’s old ring. He did 20 years ago but it fits me great.