turn on the flame throwers - overnight visitors

[redchocolatebutton]

I'm ready for a big flaming

relative staying for a week.
relative is loud, can't close doors or loo lids quietly. they even can't just sit down without almost falling through the floor.
their body spray absolutely stinks.
they insists on having smelly cheese for breakfast.
they talk constantly.

plus the weather is shit (stormy) so I can't even go for a walk

aibu to put snot into their dinner?

3 more nights...

Put the smelly cheese and body spray in the bin. Tell them to stop slamming your doors.

you lot disappoint me!

I need a handhold

I don't drink, but tonight I wish I was

Get a soft-close toilet lid.

yep. already on my shopping list.

I put extra chilli in their dinner

So the toilet door and loo seat will be banging even more frequently! Shortsighted victory!

Soft close loo seats are great. The only downside is that you get so used to them and then end up slamming normal seats.

No other advice apart from start drinking!

Could you make the heating break down?

Since when do house guests get to “insist” on what they get fed? Don’t buy the smelly cheese!

Pretend you have vomiting big andvsuggest they leave!

(Who are they - did you invite in their chaos?)

give them vegan cheese (I gather real cheese aficionados hate it)

Bug not big

From your thread title, I thought you were going to say you had mice but this is much, much worse

it's a relative who invited themselves.

popular holiday destination.

can I put the cheese out on the patio and blame neighbours dog if it goes 'missing'?

tbh 3 days would have been fine, but after that I need to bite my tongue a lot.

If it’s not an immediate relative (parent or sibling) don’t agree to them visiting again!

No heating.
Cheese thrown out as it has "gone mouldy" (Extra points if it is already blue cheese).
Activities they hate and must join in with. I suggest sea swimming, fell walking, sock shopping.
Insist they wash up by hand (your dishwasher is broken, isn't it Including the dog's bowl.)
Lumpy pillows.
Early starts every day (6am hike, anyone?)
And all windows open to remove smell of spray.

YANBU, I hate house guests at the best of times, even people I like.

As an aside mumsnet isn’t very good at maths.

I love the 'broken' dishwasher idea. I'm afraid it's currently running but a 'malfunction' can be arranged

Develop an immediate allergy to strong smells That is giving you chronic headache - so cheese and spray has to go and everything has to be done quietly (so talking to a minimum).

any mention of bad smells gets me the question 'are you pregnant?' (def not!)

Use the body spray on the cheese?

Use the body spray on the cheese?

lol