To feel totally exhausted, even though I work part time?

[SatansReject]

I’m 38. I work 18 hours a week as a nurse in a non manual role (I basically sit in an office and patients come to me for basic treatment, dressings, injections, suture removals etc) so as far as nursing goes, it’s an easy enough role.

But I feel totally exhausted and overwhelmed. I start at 8:30 with a 20 minute drive to get there. I finish at 1pm and only work mom-Thursday. When I get home I take my dog out for a couple of hours, usually home by 4pm. But I’m just so exhausted. I feel like a fraud when other people are working 40 hours + (my DH included) and I’m desperate to give up work (or just work two days a week) but I know it’s unreasonable.

What on earth is wrong with me? My nursing registration ran out in October and I actually considered not renewing it so that I’d have an excuse not to work. I’ve stopped doing all the stuff I enjoy (martial arts class, running etc) and DH and I have booked a meal twice in the past two weeks and have cancelled both as I just can’t face going out, I’m just too tired.

I also dislike my job as I don’t like being around people. I thought of retraining as a dog trainer/kennel hand but you need a degree which I can’t afford to do. I just feel so trapped.

How are you sleeping at night? I wonder if you are actually getting the proper quality of rest you need? If something is stopping you from sleeping deeply (sleep apnoea perhaps?). Have you had bloods tested-thyroid, iron levels etc? Any other odd symptoms like increased thirst etc?

How is your general health? I'd do to the GP and get your iron levels checked to make sure there's nothing underlying that's making you feel so tired.

Mental health? Any history of depression or anxiety?

Do you have any children?

Iron deficiency?

I’d see a doctor, eighteen hours work a week is nothing and shouldn’t be leaving you exhausted. Millions work full time, have pets/children and a home to look after and still have the energy for hobbies etc.

I’d be very cross if DH thought eighteen hours was too much work for him so wanted to quit or work less.

Have you been to your GP? Need to check thyroid, iron, vit D, vit B12, blood glucose. Definitely not pregnant? Do you get enough sleep? How is your diet and do you take a basic multivitamin?

I’m sleeping ok and bloods all came back fine other than life long anaemia. I think it’s more mental ... it’s the thought of going to work fills me with absolute dread even though the job isn’t actually that bad. The thought of going to my martial arts class fills me horror even though I love it and miss all the people there. I just want to crawl under a rock.

Previous history of anxiety and depression but again I feel like a fraud as I have nothing to be depressed about! I have money, no kids at home, am fit and able ... what on earth is wrong with me

Its not just work though that you do OP...I only work 16 hrs but in a really demanding .heavy fast paced enviroment .Now that would be ok in itself ,except for the school runs,the shopping.the washing,the cleaning the life admin and everything else I do too!! And unlike you I don;t have a pet to run around after too to throw into the mix!!! Maybe check out yourself,Have a health M.O T see if you are a bit lacking in iron? And dont be so hard on yourself too...

You're perhaps a bit young but that was me when I became peri menopausal at 45. At least twice a week I took full afternoon naps, like 3-4 hours - despite averaging 8 hours a night (luckily I worked part time). If I couldn't get the extra sleep I genuinely couldn't function to the point I'd sometimes not take the car somewhere because I was worried I'd be dangerous to drive. It sounds crazy but the exhaustion wiped me out.
Maybe worth getting your hormone levels checked or considering if you have any other symptoms.

Op, I wonder if the job is just not stimulating enough for you? I can sympathise to a degree as I go through periods where I’m exhausted and have no motivation (I also work pt in desk based nursing role). I have also had depression intermittently through my life and it often rears it’s head in the way you describe. I have found during these periods that the less I do the worse it gets and I actually need stimulating stuff to motivate me and give me energy.

I think a trip to the GP is a good idea but it also may be worth you looking at what normally makes you tick as a person, and whether you need more stimulation/something different in your life?

I do have other symptoms of peri menopause such as feeling hot and sweaty (even when he’s freezing), total loss of sex drive, mood swings and total lack of appetite, morning nausea etc. Definately not pregnant.

You could register as a home dog boarder? My sister did and she loves it!

I feel like a fraud as I have nothing to be depressed about!

Using the old ‘you’d take treatment for a broken bone, why not a mental health issue’ argument, let’s try twisting your statement.

I slipped over in my own front garden last year and sprained my ankle. There was no reason for it. I wasn’t doing anything energetic or exciting. I just slipped. I still went to hospital, got treatment, rested, etc.

You’re feeling anxious and depressed. Just because you can’t highlight a reason, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get treated. Anxiety and depression are mental illnesses. They have symptoms (and treatments) just like physical illnesses do. Please go to your go, tell them how you feel and get treated. You don’t need to live like this.

It sounds like depression to me. It's how mine manifests too. And I hate the opinion your life has to be bad to have depression. As a medical professional you really ought to know better than that. Depression is an illness which can affect anyone, including those with seemingly perfect lifes. Go see your GP and take care of yourself

Home dog boarder is my dream job, I’d love it. Will have to wait for my pup to grow up a bit first though as she’s a bit boisterous!

I should maybe look into the depression side of things. I worry though as I was on sertaline last time and he made me even more lethargic

Exhaustion is a symptom of peri menopause.

Previous history of anxiety and depression but again I feel like a fraud as I have nothing to be depressed about!

But that just sounds like depression talking to me. Especially when you look at how tired you've been and the withdrawing from other activities that used to be enjoyable.

You don't have to be in the worst circumstances in the world to be suffering and for that suffering to be worth addressing. It could easily be that the mental strain of working in a role that makes you so unhappy and stressed has taken its toll and depression has built up. I think it's important enough for that to be addressed.

It's not uncommon for people with depression to begin by asking for help with physical symptoms like exhaustion that don't seem to have any physical cause, like with you.

How would you feel about asking for help with depression?

If you could do anything else or change your role in any way - ignoring practicalities and obstacles for a minute - what would it be? What would life look like? What would be important? Can you build a picture?

Sometimes it's easier to work backwards from the picture you have in your mind to then do your problem solving and find a route to get as close to that picture as possible. If you start from your current position and try to work forwards all the obstacles and problems and practicalities trip you up before you've even managed to work out what you want to try and reach.

You're not a fraud for feeling this way.

Have you been taking your annual leave? Working any amount of hours with little holiday would cause anyone to feel like you.

There are loads of other meds to try if the last one's side effects aren't a tolerable prospect.

Definitely try and get back into the martial arts class, exercise will help. The less you do the more tired you feel.

My ideal life would revolve around dogs. I’d run dog day care and also work with dog training. But I can’t afford to do a canine degree.

It sounds like something is wrong - might be physical, might be mental - but you know it's not normal to feel exhausted after working part-time. Take care of yourself and go get yourself checked out by a doctor, and do keep pushing for some proper answers.

As a nurse surely you know you can be depressed without having 'something' to be depressed about.
Hope you nurses don't see us as frauds if we can't name an event that has triggered our MH issues

Surely you don't need a canine degree to be a dog walker?

OP, you really need to look after yourself here and I know for a fact many nurses are guilty of this.

Get yourself a FBC and test for low Vit D levels. On osteo wards they recommend taking at least 2000iu per day of Vitamin D.
Also might be an idea to have your ANA and ENAS checked, too.
Whilst you're meeting with your GP discuss your mental health, just because there's 'no reason for you to be depressed' doesn't mean you can't become depressed, especially if you have a chemical imbalance.

I really feel for you so be kind to yourself, please and don't get fobbed off. There's a saying about a squeaky wheel so if you don't get the treatment you need keep going back to your GP, or see another one.

Good luck