Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think wtfff?

64 replies

fancyham · 02/11/2019 20:52

I've NC'd because this could be outing. I'll try to make this concise as my head's in a muddle and need a bit of a MN reality check.

Am generally not too great this week, tapering off gabapentin (grim) after a nerve root block for a years worth of crippling sciatica. I smoke the occasional joint. I know exactly where it comes from, and nobody is being exploited. I feel fairly fucking fragile, physically and mentally.

I've used the same odd job man for a few years, and asked him ages ago if he could do a job for me and I got a call out of the blue to ask if the job still needed doing. He's a religious fanatic, and I usually humour him (fucking social conditioningAngry). But during a tea break he brought up the subject of evolution, and said he believed it. I found this interesting and asked him about it, and if he wondered why humans evolved so differently to other animals. He replied he didn't believe humans evolved and that we were made by god Confused.

At this point I began to grin a bit because I genuinely thought he was joking, to have made such a contradictory statement. He went on to mutter something like, well it's what I believe and it's too late to change now (I managed to stifle the urge to tell him about sunken cost fallacy Grin).

Then (I didn't realise at the time) he steered the conversation around to cannabis, how when he smoked it he became arrogant, full of himself, full of "false confidence" and would go out and start fights with people. I said how odd, doesn't affect me like that. Straight away he jumped in with "Oh but that's ILLEGAL!" I thought he was joking (I know, I really am shit at reading people Grin) and I jokingly said, "you wouldn't dob me in, would you?"

Instead of laughing and saying no, he went quiet, eventually saying that he hadn't even thought about it, but now I'd put the idea into his head.... I must have looked [confusion] because he said "are you OK"? in a sickly faux concern and got up and came towards me with his arms outstretched. He looked very pleased with himself. I stood up, arms folded and said shouldn't you get back to work. When he left he said he would pray for me and that he loved me Envy

He completely fucked the job up (hadn't listened to what I asked him to do, and neither did he have the right skills). I contacted him about this and he got really angry, and kept shouting me down and that he would charge me again to rectify it. I remained calm. He got more and more angry, eventually shouting not to pay it. He invoiced me about 3 X more than he usually would.

I have just received a text from him;
"hi, am concerned about you, would like to bring elder from church. There's nothing in this for me other than making sure you're ok."

My reply; "No thanks, and completely inappropriate. A tradesman has assessed the damage. He said it won't be possible to rectify until spring and that you should have known this type of job should only be done in warmer/drier weather. Can I ask what you're concerns are?"

He replied; "You are paranoid, comes with the drugs, which own you. sorry about the job, the offer of help still stands."

Withdrawing from gabapentin is quite the emotional roller coaster as it is, (laughing one minute, tears the next) and this isn't helping. I spent the last year in chronic pain, and I have no idea how I pulled myself through it. Now this twat trying to blackmail me into joining his cult. Please wonderful, sane, critical thinking wise MNers reassure me that I'm not the loopy one.

OP posts:
Candle1000 · 02/11/2019 20:56

He sounds like a nut job !

whitesockss · 02/11/2019 20:57
Hmm
hungryhippie · 02/11/2019 20:58

Just block him.
Obviously got a screw loose.

Loaf90 · 02/11/2019 21:01

You both sound nuts

TheQueef · 02/11/2019 21:02

Church can be the best source for home grown.
Chill and see where it takes you.

JasonPollack · 02/11/2019 21:02

Block him. Just in case you're concerned then absolutely sweet f.a would happen if he tried to 'report you'.

Sanctimonious wanker obviously doesn't like to be challenged on his ridiculous beliefs.

TooManyPaws · 02/11/2019 21:02

Block him. I doubt very much that the police would worry about the occasional personal joint these days, particularly when pain is involved. Anyway, he admitted to smoking it too so why would he dob you in because you could do the same thing to him?

Don't use him again and if he gives you hassle, call the police. The fact of smoking an occasional joint isn't the issue they'll be worried about if he's harassing you.

fancyham · 02/11/2019 21:03

Thanks to the replies. As I said I was just after some reassurance it wasn't me who was behaving oddly. I live alone, not great at reading people/situations.

What was the Hmm for?

OP posts:
TrainspottingWelsh · 02/11/2019 21:03

Yanbu, he's the loon.

I would text him back, something along the lines of 'I'm not interested in either your church or your religion, and I find it concerning that you are trying to persuade me to do so by insinuating I am a paranoid drug user when you know that isn't true. Don't contact me again'
'you bible bashing twat' is optional.

Interestedwoman · 02/11/2019 21:04

He's a twat.

'I feel fairly fucking fragile, physically and mentally.'

Cannabis is bad for people's mental health. Any professional would say that- they've seen it. Please see your GP and get evidence based medication or therapy. x

fancyham · 02/11/2019 21:10

Church can be the best source for home grown.
Chill and see where it takes you

Clearly not his church. He told me I was sinning against god. I steer well clear of patriarchal religion anyway.

Loaf90 In what way do I sound "nuts" exactly?

I definitely won't use his services again. Holy moly.

OP posts:
Prawnofthepatriarchy · 02/11/2019 21:11

I'd just reply that he's talking nonsense and then ignore him. Even if he goes to the police he hasn't got anything to say that will be of any interest.

Obviously don't ever contact him again. He's basically ripped you off and is now trying to make himself looks like a Godly type rather than a crap tradesman.

vivacian · 02/11/2019 21:14
Biscuit
Gardai · 02/11/2019 21:21

On mumsnet we don’t talk in depth about the meaning of life to the tradespeople or let them use the toilet. And now you know why.

Your tale is a warning to those that flout this rule.

Pringlesfortea · 02/11/2019 21:21

6 of one

egontoste · 02/11/2019 21:22

He told me I was sinning against God

That's funny - I don't recall cannabis getting a mention in the bible...

TrainspottingWelsh · 02/11/2019 21:26

Pretty sure cannabis was hinted at in the bible, it just got translated wrong. I mean why else would Jesus have needed enough food for 5000 if not for an attack of the munchies?

TheQueef · 02/11/2019 21:27

You missed Spike Milligan version Egon

And God said, “Let the earth bring forth grass,” and the earth brought forth grass and the Rastafarians smoked it. – Spike Milligan.

SpookilyBadOooooooh · 02/11/2019 21:28

Ignore the weird posts!

You are fine. He is a wanker and an idiot.

Keep ALL the messages he’s sent you.

Hopefully you won’t hear from him again, but if you do, just ignore it. Unless it scares you, then ring the police.

TrainspottingWelsh · 02/11/2019 21:31

Yy queef there's even a hymn, iirc called 'do you smoke' about the disciple Paul and a reef

HeronLanyon · 02/11/2019 21:31

Not loopy.
Block his number.
Definitely don’t ask him any questions !
Don’t worry, he sounds crazy !
Hope pain eases.

fancyham · 02/11/2019 21:34

Well at least some (most?) people seem to think I'm fairly sane. And I got my first Biscuit and Hmm during my time on MN. Yay.

OP posts:
Honeyroar · 02/11/2019 21:37

Tell him he clearly missed out on evolving and if God made him he must be mortified about what a fuck up he made.

littlepaddypaws · 02/11/2019 21:44

cannabis can screw you up, he's living proof if in deed he does use it.

Therebythedoor · 02/11/2019 21:46

He sounds like a prize knob - he should concentrate on doing his bloody job and getting that right rather than indulging in his insulting pseudo-Jesus complex and trying to heal you. I am reminded of the old saying along the lines of, 'There's none so righteous as the reformed.'

He obviously wasn't worried about ripping you off either... hmm... very 'Christian'...NOT!

I wouldn't worry about him dobbing you in it.