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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think wtfff?

64 replies

fancyham · 02/11/2019 20:52

I've NC'd because this could be outing. I'll try to make this concise as my head's in a muddle and need a bit of a MN reality check.

Am generally not too great this week, tapering off gabapentin (grim) after a nerve root block for a years worth of crippling sciatica. I smoke the occasional joint. I know exactly where it comes from, and nobody is being exploited. I feel fairly fucking fragile, physically and mentally.

I've used the same odd job man for a few years, and asked him ages ago if he could do a job for me and I got a call out of the blue to ask if the job still needed doing. He's a religious fanatic, and I usually humour him (fucking social conditioningAngry). But during a tea break he brought up the subject of evolution, and said he believed it. I found this interesting and asked him about it, and if he wondered why humans evolved so differently to other animals. He replied he didn't believe humans evolved and that we were made by god Confused.

At this point I began to grin a bit because I genuinely thought he was joking, to have made such a contradictory statement. He went on to mutter something like, well it's what I believe and it's too late to change now (I managed to stifle the urge to tell him about sunken cost fallacy Grin).

Then (I didn't realise at the time) he steered the conversation around to cannabis, how when he smoked it he became arrogant, full of himself, full of "false confidence" and would go out and start fights with people. I said how odd, doesn't affect me like that. Straight away he jumped in with "Oh but that's ILLEGAL!" I thought he was joking (I know, I really am shit at reading people Grin) and I jokingly said, "you wouldn't dob me in, would you?"

Instead of laughing and saying no, he went quiet, eventually saying that he hadn't even thought about it, but now I'd put the idea into his head.... I must have looked [confusion] because he said "are you OK"? in a sickly faux concern and got up and came towards me with his arms outstretched. He looked very pleased with himself. I stood up, arms folded and said shouldn't you get back to work. When he left he said he would pray for me and that he loved me Envy

He completely fucked the job up (hadn't listened to what I asked him to do, and neither did he have the right skills). I contacted him about this and he got really angry, and kept shouting me down and that he would charge me again to rectify it. I remained calm. He got more and more angry, eventually shouting not to pay it. He invoiced me about 3 X more than he usually would.

I have just received a text from him;
"hi, am concerned about you, would like to bring elder from church. There's nothing in this for me other than making sure you're ok."

My reply; "No thanks, and completely inappropriate. A tradesman has assessed the damage. He said it won't be possible to rectify until spring and that you should have known this type of job should only be done in warmer/drier weather. Can I ask what you're concerns are?"

He replied; "You are paranoid, comes with the drugs, which own you. sorry about the job, the offer of help still stands."

Withdrawing from gabapentin is quite the emotional roller coaster as it is, (laughing one minute, tears the next) and this isn't helping. I spent the last year in chronic pain, and I have no idea how I pulled myself through it. Now this twat trying to blackmail me into joining his cult. Please wonderful, sane, critical thinking wise MNers reassure me that I'm not the loopy one.

OP posts:
fancyham · 03/11/2019 00:05

IceBearRocks

You sound as if you're still on them all! But thanks for your helpful post Smile

Aren't they all cults do you think Pixie?

Danger, yeah, I wouldn't take them again. I was fine until today, then I was hit with this wave of self doubt. Thank fuck for MN!

OP posts:
fancyham · 03/11/2019 00:16

Thanks Meadow. It's a shame, because before today, everything had been fine. We even sent Christmas cards. And then he started behaving like a Safestyle window salesman.

OP posts:
MulticolourMophead · 03/11/2019 00:39

Hmmmmmmm.......so I've had a spinal fusion and been on the highest dose of gabapentin for about 6 months. Gabapentin for 12 months though....along with morphine and valium......FFS sciatica.......I ve come off all these drugs really easily ......drama llama

People react differently to all sorts of things, including drugs. Whoopie doo for you that it was easy, you got lucky. Other people find it harder.

Italiangreyhound · 03/11/2019 00:41

You are not the loopy one! and I am a religious person (C of E).

I do not like it when people say that a person who is hard done by, by another person, are as bad as each other etc. It's plainly rubbish.

OP hope things get better. Thanks

JenniferM1989 · 03/11/2019 00:52

I don't smoke weed but wouldn't have anything to say to anyone that smokes the odd joint and lives alone like you do as it's not affecting anyone but you. It's probably healthier for you to smoke the odd joint for pain relief than be on 2700mg of a high strength pain killer to be honest. Also, the police are going to do exactly sweet FA about someone smoking a bit of weed so he would gain nothing from reporting you! I think they're more concerned about the people growing it in their lofts than they are about a single woman having the odd joint 😂

GodammitGreg · 03/11/2019 13:19

I ve come off all these drugs really easily ......drama llama

Want a fucking medal do you?

ReadyPayerTwo · 03/11/2019 19:31

You sound like a completely CRAZY person to me!!

JenetteFranky · 03/11/2019 19:37

Yeah I wouldn’t be doing any more jobs for you. You sound unhinged and ungrateful and disrespectful of views different to your own

Wakeupalready · 03/11/2019 19:56

Wow, you've definitely attracted some charmers with this post.

For the record, I've come off gabapentin too , and I was sick as a dog for weeks. So it's a fuck off @IceBearRocks from me too.
Don't hurry it up -it's a shit of drug to withdraw from, and the tapering is important. And if smoking the odd joint helps , go for it. I also did this, told my GP I was doing so , and she was fine with it as long as it was a thing just while I withdrew from the gabapentin.

Re your Biblical wanker, creepazoid thingo. Pay what you normally would, if it's a job he's done before and has priced differently due to your revelations or query his overcharging with the additional tradesman you got in to back you up and eventually fix his mess. State the deductions are necessary for repairs for his mistakes or something.
Tell him if he drags any church elders over without your consent you'll consider it harassment as you also will if he continues to message you.

Pushy evangelists who faux care are beyond annoying. Don't hire him again.
Thanks

MaxNormal · 03/11/2019 20:06

@IceBearRocks you don't sound like you have!

MaxNormal · 03/11/2019 20:07

You sound unhinged and ungrateful

She's meant to be grateful for paying someone to fuck a job up? Grin

fantasmasgoria1 · 03/11/2019 20:15

I totally sympathise with you. I had morphine for sciatica 10/10 pain which was brutal in itself, i then had an operation, walked with a stick for 6 months after. My sciatica has been present at lower levels for the past 7 years but bearable. Its getting worse again and I'm awaiting an mri scan. I take cocodamol 30 /500 and pregabalin for anxiety which helps with the pain. I don't know how you are managing! I'm looking into cbd now but pain is dreadful and I don't wish it upon anyone. I hope you get on OK.

fancyham · 04/11/2019 12:11

Wow, you've definitely attracted some charmers with this post.

Didn't I just. Thankfully I know how MN works by now and that some people post with certain n agendas and I have a fairly thick hide by now. I do wonder what's going on with people who are deliberately spiteful.

Flowers to everyone who reassured me. General opinion IRL also seems to be "you're odd Ham, but not mad."

OP posts:
reventlov · 17/11/2019 18:37

can you report him to someone? umprofessional. hate bible bashers like that.

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