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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What age to be left alone ?

46 replies

ichifanny · 02/11/2019 12:32

My husband and I are going away overnight this week leaving about tea time then back the next morning , all our children normally go to their grandparents if we are working or go anywhere . My eldest age 15 ( 16 start of next year ) wants to stay on the house while his young siblings go to their grandparents , I’ve said no but he’s adamant he’s responsible enough . He’s geeky and introverted and won’t invite anyone around and doesn’t go out and drink or anything . I’m unsure if I’m being unreasonable in thinking he would be perfectly fine .

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 02/11/2019 12:35

My Ds is about a month older and personality wise, the same! We haven’t got in to this situation yet but I’d lean towards seriously thinking about it.

Saltnpepper5 · 02/11/2019 12:37

I'd let him stay at home. If you know he's sensible and knows what to do in an emergency. Then I'd have no problem.

user1493413286 · 02/11/2019 12:37

I think the minimum age I’d agree to is 17, probably more for my peace of mind than anything else.

Original poster
ichifanny · 02/11/2019 12:39

Yes I’ve not really had to leave him before , it feel a bit like I’m over molly-coddling him by saying no . Might be a good learning experience for him ?

OP posts:
Chocolatecake12 · 02/11/2019 12:40

It’s such a tricky age- I don’t think I’d be comfortable leaving him just yet but probably next time.
But you know your own child......how far away are gp’s?

MyDcAreMarvel · 02/11/2019 12:41

No it’s irresponsible to leave a child alone at night. Even 16 is too young really. He may feel grown up but at 15 he really isn’t.

Original poster
ichifanny · 02/11/2019 12:47

Grandparents 5 minutes away .

OP posts:
Lazypuppy · 02/11/2019 12:50

I don't see the issue at 15yo? I'd quite happily leave for the 12 or so hours you'll be gone

Redcliff · 02/11/2019 12:53

I would be fine at 15 as long as he is sensible and wants to. If it got to say 10 pm and he got a bit worried about staying there by himself could one of his grandparents go and get him?

dancemom · 02/11/2019 12:55

Yes I would at 15.

PotteringAlong · 02/11/2019 13:01

Almost 16? With grandparents 5 mins away and super sensible? I would.

Bumply · 02/11/2019 13:04

I left DS2 home alone aged 15 (4 months off 16)
Sensible, no parties (social life is via xbox game playing/ headsets), live in flat so neighbours around to help respond to emergencies, Dad an hours drive away.

He survived two nights and n his own. Lots of texting to keep on track of what temperature to set the oven for pizza etc.

The gerbils almost didn't survive as they chose that night to eat out their plastic cage. They came back the next day (to investigate why teen boy was sitting on the middle of the floor) and now are housed in glass viv.

So I would say depends on the child, availability of assistance if required.

ParkheadParadise · 02/11/2019 13:11

This thread makes me feel so OLD.
At 15 I had Dd1. I was left in the house myself in charge of a baby😂😂.
I would let him stay.

leomama81 · 02/11/2019 13:15

It depends on the kid but yes I would. I think I was doing the odd night or weekend alone from 15 if not 14.

Winterdaysarehere · 02/11/2019 13:19

My ds is nearly 16 and wouldn't want to be alone but our house is very creepy!! Would your ds hear the smoke alarm if he had headphones on would be my concern!!

pikapikachu · 02/11/2019 13:20

I'd allow it. My kids could cook and wouldn't have had a party or done anything dangerous.

Itsallpetetong · 02/11/2019 13:20

www.gov.uk/law-on-leaving-your-child-home-alone

children under 16 shouldn’t be left alone overnight

PlasticPatty · 02/11/2019 13:20

I had two weeks home alone at sixteen. It was fine.

Doyouthinktheysaurus · 02/11/2019 13:24

We left dses last month, eldest is just turned 17, ds2 is 15. Ds2 is actually the more sensible but I am not sure I would have left him without ds1.

They were fine.

I used to stay home for the weekend from 14 if I recall correctly, was routine to stay by 15. My mum and dad went away every weekend.

You have to make that jump at some point. It's never easy but you don't know how they will cope until you do it.

JE17 · 02/11/2019 13:25

Yes, I'd allow it in the circumstances which you describe.

milkysmum · 02/11/2019 13:32

Yes I would leave a sensible 15 year old alone overnight in this situation

citcatgirl45 · 02/11/2019 13:38

I think if he is a sensible 15 yr old I would leave him.

Livebythecoast · 02/11/2019 13:38

My DD will be 16 in December and personally I wouldn't leave her overnight on her own and actually she wouldn't want to. However, if your DS actually wants to and with Grandparents 5 minutes away then under those circumstances and you're okay with it then do it but go through a few scenarios with him - as another pp said about the fire alarm etc

PumpkinP · 02/11/2019 13:40

I would be fine with this, I was living alone at 16

ChrisPrattsFace · 02/11/2019 13:46

He’s almost 16 - he can join the army and get married. If he’s sensible then one night alone is fine.