What age to be left alone ?

[ichifanny]

My husband and I are going away overnight this week leaving about tea time then back the next morning , all our children normally go to their grandparents if we are working or go anywhere . My eldest age 15 ( 16 start of next year ) wants to stay on the house while his young siblings go to their grandparents , I’ve said no but he’s adamant he’s responsible enough . He’s geeky and introverted and won’t invite anyone around and doesn’t go out and drink or anything . I’m unsure if I’m being unreasonable in thinking he would be perfectly fine .

Ds is 16 in April, I would leave him overnight if we had to go away. He would revise, play online and watch TV.

I would at 16 but not at 15.

Of course he'll be fine, leave him!

That’s the thing he has 3 months till he’s 16 do I dig my heels in and be stubborn for the sake of 3 months

Insane, isn't it. NSPCC say children under 16 shouldn't be alone overnight. Whilst on the day of their 16th birthday they can legally leave home. I can't help but feel there should be some area in the middle where they can be trusted overnight with nearby support before they are considered ready to LIVE completely alone and unsupported.

However, the NSPCC do not make law - just guidelines - and if you think your child is mature enough and has sufficient support nearby, then go for it.

I recently left my older teens overnight - I just made sure that our neighbour was aware they were alone and they knew her phone number and that they were welcome to drop in if they had any difficulties.

At 16 I went on holiday to Europe with my friend....Yes drinking! Deemed perfectly acceptable, we survived. I think 15 to sit at home playing games is fine.

Yes I would, especially with grandparents 5 minutes away. You know your son. If you trust him, go for it. He could Facetime you etc if necessary.

Wow my DD is much younger son perhaps I will feel differently when she's bigger but at 15 I went long distance walking with a friend for a week. I'm in my mid 30s now. One night at home with family close by is so little and you have to start somewhere.

No it’s irresponsible to leave a child alone at night. Even 16 is too young really.

good grief, some posters REALLY have issues, poor kids.
Anyway, OP, has your child proven trustworthy when you left him for evenings?
Is your house completely isolated, or do you have neighbours, or even better neighbours you do know?

So provided you have a reasonable setting, I can't see the issue. Will they only be trusted to be on their own when they start Uni? That's recipe for disasters!

I can't believe some of the replies, you can't wrap them up in cotton wool all their lives. I'd got a job and moved out by the time I was 17. At 15 he doesn't need to go to his nan's for supervision overnight. It's just one night, and like a pp said in 3 months' time he could get married and/or join the army! Honestly, get a grip, he'll be absolutely fine.

We first left DD1 alone overnight when she had just turned 16. She was also in charge of DD2 who was 10 (almost 11). We weren't far away and we left late afternoon coming back mid morning the next day. All was fine.

Even 16 is too young really

You can get married at 16 and have children

You can get married at 16 and have children

you absolutely can! But only if mummy is staying with you at home overnight

I have known someone as ridiculous as the posters above. Then their child - a girl! -decided to go backpacking at 18. After not being given any freedom whatsoever. She was absolutely fine (her friends were a bit more responsible) but the reaction from her mother before and during her trip was hilarious!

And how many 16 years old do you know married with children! In the real world 16 year olds are school children living at home, being grounded and phones charging in the kitchen overnight.

sadly, 16 or 17 years old with a baby are not THAT uncommon in this country.

They should be school children living at home, but they should also be learning a bit about independence and resilience by that point - taking the bus or the train (or the TUBE!) on their own or staying in an empty house for a few hours would be a start.

We left my then 15 year old overnight in the summer, he was fine. He is reasonably sensible and also addicted to electric devices to didn't do very much, and even our cat survived.

He's now sixteen and we left him again last night, and now homes, hes barely moved from his room.

I guess its down to how sensible they are. Mine had recently done his DofE, which if teachers were ok leaving them alone in small groups, I doubt being in his own home would be much different. Plus I view our job as parents is now to set him up to be competent to leave home and survive when the time comes, and that includes being left alone.

I would absolutely leave him. It must be hard suddenly leaving home when 18 if you've never spent any time alone, it's only sensible to start building his confidence if he's happy to do so. A sensible nearly 16yo will be absolutely fine.

I would. It depends on the child, obviously some are less mature, but if in 3 months he could join the armed forces or get married and leave home and you don’t trust him to stay safe in his own home for one night then you really have bigger issues to worry about.

Gosh, of course he can be left overnight. At 14 i was left overnight with a 7 year old. I'm sure your DS will enjoy the peace and quiet for a night without his younger siblings.

So we did it and he was fine and very responsible , I texted and phoned a few times and checked the house with the ring doorbell to see all was looking well . He said he enjoyed being self sufficient .

Great!