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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to be this sad about a house :(

59 replies

SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 10:59

Been looking on rightmove for a year. Saw a house last week that for the first time was in the right location and nice. Went to see it Saturday, and fell in love with it. It was gorgeous and totally totally saw myself and my family living there. We put our house on the market Monday, sold it by Wednesday.

Wednesday we had to blind bid out best offer on the house we love. We bid 15k over asking price and thought we had it.

Told Thursday we were outbid and have lost the house.

I'm devastated.

I knew I'd be a bit sad if this happened, but I'm beside myself. Cannot pull myself together ...

It's all happened so fast and I feel sick.

Tell me it gets better :(

OP posts:
ChristaMSieland · 02/11/2019 11:37

Are you someone who gets down at this time of year anyway?

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:40

Thanks Jassy, that's encouraging.

Scream - I think it's made us realise it's worth more to us that we thought. We discussed our bid for ages (relatively speaking!! - we were only given 12 hours to get a bid together! including giving details of proof of finding, a solicitor, I'd etc etc.. all felt sooo rushed!) and decided we wouldnt be sad if we lost it with the bid we put forward and that 15k over reasonable and trying our best. Now we've lost it, we realise we should have bid higher and it was more important to us than we realised, and we could and should have bid more than we did (though we'd be really maxed out to do so)

OP posts:
feliciabirthgiver · 02/11/2019 11:41

This happened to us, I was devastated and would often just drive past the house we lost out on - like a stalker ex girlfriend!! A couple of months later we found a new house and absolutely love it and we often say it was meant to be and we genuinely prefer the house we have ended up in.

Keep the faith the right house is out there for you Thanks

MRex · 02/11/2019 11:42

We fell in love with the house we first viewed a few years ago. We weren't yet ready to buy and it went to bids. For a few months we fretted about not finding anything as good and always talked about that house. Then we found something better and got an offer on our house, moved in 9 weeks from the day we saw it in the internet. Actually it cost us £250k less, it's in a much better location, 100sq ft smaller but it has a garage which more than makes up for that. We are incredibly grateful that we didn't buy the first house.

The house was great for you, which means there is something out there you like within for budget, so the good news is that you realistically can find the right home. You may yet find a better one and end up grateful that this one passed you by.

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:42

Christa - I don't think so.

(It's been a hell.of a year. Step father had cancer, mother had a heart attack and stroke, I broke arm and leg in an accident, my children have had to move schools due to issues, I've changed jobs, brother has been unwell, it's just been the shortest year and this is the icing on the cake to tip me over I think...)

OP posts:
HuggedTrees · 02/11/2019 11:43

Christa, stop being an idiot. Of course house moving and buying/bidding is stupidly stressful and upsetting, it involved an actual life changing event. It doesn’t negate all the other horrors in the world or people that can’t afford houses.

OP, good luck in your search.

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:44

*shittest not shortest!

OP posts:
Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:44

Thanks HuggedTrees

OP posts:
Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:45

Thanks MREX and Felicia :)

OP posts:
ChristaMSieland · 02/11/2019 11:46

That is a truly horrible year. Flowers I'm not surprised it's all getting to you after all that. Can you step back and let your DP deal with house stuff for a bit?

goldpendant · 02/11/2019 11:47

Exactly the same happened to us. It was 8 weeks later the agent rang me as the sale had fallen through.... I'm now living in the dream home. It might not go through. Stay in touch with the agents and don't pull out of your sale. You'll be in a better position to buy if something else does come on that you like.

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:48

Thanks Christa - to be honest he's pretty stressed too! Think we might have date night and some wine tonight and look after each other Wine

OP posts:
HelloDulling · 02/11/2019 11:48

I still think about the house that got away. It’s daft, but I know how fabulous it could have been.

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:48

Goldpendant - that's great :) Smile

OP posts:
ChristaMSieland · 02/11/2019 11:48

(If you think it's an idiotic question - to mention the season - @HuggedTrees then you've never seen someone who plummets mood in the fall.)

GabsAlot · 02/11/2019 11:49

Its not a done deal if youre in england i'll keeo my fingers crossed for you-you can always pu in your higher offer see if they'll accept it

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:49

Thanks GabsAlot

OP posts:
HourglassTigger · 02/11/2019 11:49

Spookilybad gave excellent counsel. I have been in your position when it was not meant to be. Devastated as if brokenhearted and for the life of me now can't recall a single feature of that 'only house in the whole wide world I'll ever love again'. It freed me up to explore further afield, options I would never have countenanced. A short while later, and another country away, we were again outbid on 'the actual only one'. But this time the successful bidder dragged their heels - Five weeks of tears and rants later we got that wonderful phone call....We'd made damn sure the sellers knew we were in a position to complete speedily.

Please take some comfort in what's meant for you will not go by you. Meantime have some fantasyfun on the 'aplaceinthesun' website.

Annasgirl · 02/11/2019 11:50

Hi OP, I know how you feel. This happened to us in a once off location. I had PND at the time!!! We continued with our own sale. It ended up much better as we ended up in an amazing house - much larger with a bigger garden. Still, even though I ended up with a better house, whenever I pass the other one, it still tugs at my heart (11 years later!!!).

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 11:51

Thanks Hourglass (have tried to persuade DH we emigrate to NZ but he's not having it :)!!)

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itsabongthing · 02/11/2019 11:53

YANBU to feel so sad about it.
It’s a massive decision to offer on a house and by necessity you have to be invested in it and picture yourself living there so it’s really hard when it doesn’t work out.
We had a similar situation a few years ago, sold our house really fast, put in our best sealed bid a fair bit over the asking price, but lost out.
We decided to look around for other things since we had a good offer on ours and were in a good position to proceed. We found the house we are in now (completely different area to the original one - ended up moving out of London). There have been so many times when I’m glad the original house didn’t work out, and the one we ended up with is so much better! So take heart.

AnathemaPulsifer · 02/11/2019 11:57

Are there other similar houses close to the one you lost? Two friends have bought their houses by putting notes through doors asking if anyone wants to sell.

Original poster
SadAboutTheHouse · 02/11/2019 12:00

AnathemaP..

Unfortunately not. It was a bit of a unique house which is why I'm kicking myself not to have offered more. We should have realised it's value and that we wouldnt be the only ones to fall in love with it :(

OP posts:
Shufflebumnessie · 02/11/2019 12:01

We put an offer in on a house that we thought was our perfect property. We offered £34k above the asking price but the seller went with a lower offer but cash buyer. We were so disappointed.

A few weeks later the estate agent came back to us as the original buyer had pulled out. We put in a revised offer (as we'd had time to think things over) but still offered £16k over. Once again we were rejected.
We went to view another house and put an offer in and were accepted. Ironically, within 30 minutes of having our offer accepted on the new house the estate agent of the original house came back to us (he seemed very embarrassed!!) and asked us if we wanted to put in another offer on the original house as the 2nd buyer had pulled out. Funnily enough, we didn't!!

In hindsight we're so pleased that things didn't work out with the original house we fell in love with. The house we bought is bigger, on a nicer road, better school catchment. We love living here.

I do think things happen for a reason. Hang in there and somehow things will work out, but house buying is a long, stressful process. Good luck!

Derbee · 02/11/2019 12:16

@SadAboutTheHouse can you not offer more now? Surely the vendor would accept a higher price? Especially as you’ve sold your house.

It’s just standard gazumping isn’t it?

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