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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these are ok teacher gifts?

103 replies

lyralalala · 02/11/2019 09:24

Both DS2 and DD3's teachers have made a point of telling parents not to go OTT on gifts as they don't want parents to stretch themselves

Personally after working in schools I think that is code for "I have a zillion Best Teacher mugs and I don't eat homebaking"

After helping out in the school I was going to get DS2's teacher a box of glue sticks as they do a big project in Feb and I know she'll end up buying some out of her own pocket. Similarly DD's class has 5 pairs of scissors for 25 kids so I was going to buy a box of scissors. I'm just thinking they'll end up buying stuff like that themselves, but I'm now wondering if its a bit crap not to buy them something specifically for them.

I'm going to get the children to make a nice card to thank their teachers for specific help they've give this year.

Shit or ok idea?

OP posts:
BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 03/11/2019 15:25

ne. i don’t want to gift a potentially cheap wine on, and don’t want to carry the heavy bottles home. so content down the sink, bottle into recycling.

What an appalling waste of wine and “to heavy to take to the food bank” goodies.

Why not put them in the staff room with a note telling your colleagues to help themselves? Or donate to the fundraising committee (if your school has one)?

We have a tee total member of staff... when he gets given alcoholic gifts he does the above.

Bumfuzzled · 03/11/2019 15:39

Why do all schools suffer shortages

because we keep on voting in a government who give huge tax breaks and loopholes to the super rich with one hand whilst underfunding the basic necessities of life with the other.

The best present our teachers could get this Christmas is a non-Tory government.

DappledThings · 03/11/2019 15:44

When did this buying teachers Christmas presents become a thing? I only learnt from MN that end of year presents were apparently standard and now it's Christmas too?

Does everyone do it? Nobody bought teachers anything when I was at school and my DC arent at school yet so this is all still odd to me.

myself2020 · 03/11/2019 15:49

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou nobody else wants them as they got their own. feel free to carry 4-5 kg (so 4 bottles of whine) of stuff home on a busy train - its highly annoying. and charities don’t take alcohol.

cannycat20 · 03/11/2019 16:00

Writing to MPs and all about how badly resourced schools are these days is an excellent idea, but I'm not sure that would lead to a resolution before Christmas. And no, in a world that was run appropriately, teachers, nurses and the likes wouldn't be buying their own pens, stationery etc but most of us haven't lived in that world for a very long time.

I'd love to see a world where MPs contributed as much of their salary to their workplace in little items here and there as many teachers, nurses, and other public servants do. But no, we have an MP culture where they think it's perfectly acceptable to put expense forms in for a cup of coffee and a pint of milk...

Most of my teacher friends would love a nice card and something that seems a bit random to those outside TeacherWorld, like, well, glue sticks, or staplers, or black biros. As people have said upthread, wine isn't always the answer - most of my friends don't drink (I have one who makes up for the rest of us), and if the teacher is Muslim or many other religions it's not an option either. And even chocolate and cakes are a bit dodgy these days (have you looked at how many brands contain palm oil, for instance? Go on, have a look, just for fun, next time you're doing your shopping. It's quite eye opening. Even some of the very posh/pretend ethical brands who really should know better).

No, my money's on the glue sticks.

NeedAnExpert · 03/11/2019 16:01

We do this deliberately every year. I ask at parents evening what the teacher would like for the classroom, the parents chuck in a fiver per child and we get whatever resources the teacher wants.

capsule · 03/11/2019 16:03

I'd love this. I always spend a fortune on things for the classroom.

itsmecathycomehome · 03/11/2019 16:21

I'm a primary school teacher and have never worked at a school where staff had to buy their own resources. This thread has been a real eye-opener! At my school, there are massive boxes of everything in the stationery cupboard and we just help ourselves. Office staff are responsible for keeping them topped up and full. So id be really disappointed with glue sticks!

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 03/11/2019 16:25

nobody else wants them as they got their own

Really? The admin staff? The premises staff?

I just couldn’t throw away perfectly good food or drink....

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 03/11/2019 16:27

Office staff are responsible for keeping them topped up and full.

We do our best but our budget has been cut so tight... last year the glue stick box was empty in June and there was nothing left in the budget (administered by the finance team at our MAT) so the box stayed empty.

myself2020 · 03/11/2019 16:32

@BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou no. most of us don’t drink, and the ones who do have quite specific preferences. plus most people come on public transport, so can’t carry heavy stuff home. i would much prefer not to throw stuff, but we don’t have a lot of options. tombola etc are alcohol free as well.

Oppopotomouse · 03/11/2019 16:37

Why not a voucher so that they can decide?

YourOpinionIsNoted · 03/11/2019 16:40

I've worked in a fair few schools in my time, private, state, boarding, inner city, leafy suburb... I've never seen anyone pour away wine! Definitely not the norm.

Aashna · 03/11/2019 16:45

Can’t you just get her a lovely scented candle or something like that OP? With s Christmassy smell like orange and cinnamon maybe? Or treats she can share with her own family at Xmas, even if she doesn’t want it herself? Cashmere gloves? People always lose gloves. Nice selection of Xmas teas or coffees / hot chocolates? A bubble bath that’s a bit more special than something you might buy yourself - eg Molton Brown? A festive indoor plant?

In our school we all give £50 at the start of the year and the teachers get vouchers of their choice at Xmas and at the end of the year.

YourOpinionIsNoted · 03/11/2019 18:07

I got posh candles once when I worked in an independent boarding school, I only burn them in December (festive scents) and they are still going strong five years later! Also got a Chanel nail polish which I would NEVER buy myself as it's far too extravagant, it was a great gift.

For my dd's teachers last year all parents chipped in and gave John Lewis vouchers, that seemed well received.

LizzieVereker · 03/11/2019 18:11

You sound so kind and thoughtful OP. Flowers

queenofarles · 03/11/2019 18:35

Last year I got DD teacher some jo Malone candles,
Thinking of getting some this year too, are candles well liked?

dentydown · 03/11/2019 18:39

My son got the teachers some Parker pens and some fancy post it notes (Chinese cute cats)

bumblingbovine49 · 03/11/2019 18:44

One year I bought a tin with the words' teachers stuff' and put the following in
2 tea bags
I mini bottle of wine
2 sachets of instant coffee
1 pens with teacher's name on it
Cheap pack of biros ( with a label ' for children' on it)
Highlighters
Pins for boards
A pack of.post it's

Went down quite well

YourOpinionIsNoted · 03/11/2019 18:47

queen I think candles are great, they're a treat you wouldn't normally buy yourself but if you don't like them they are very easy to regift!

ifeellikeanidiot · 03/11/2019 18:59

Don’t give wine of food. from experience, it goes directly in the bin (mine always does, i’m not the only one).

Er, no it doesn't. Teacher here, married to a teacher and my mums a teacher too. Never once seen or heard about food or wine thrown in bin.

I imagine that if you worked in early years/ks1 then maybe some dodgy looking homemade food may get binned by some teachers, but that's the only circumstance I can imagine where that statement holds true. And even then, only the bit about the food. Noone has ever thrown a bottle of wine in a bin Hmm

Aashna · 03/11/2019 19:09

Why would you throw wine in the bin?? I mean, I don’t really drink much wine, but it’s always useful for dinner parties etc (whether hosting or taking a gift as a guest). At least it wont go off. Or, if all else fails, take it to a food bank or school raffle or just give it to someone who likes wine. Confused

Neom or Jo Malone candles are lovely or somewhere like Oliver Bonas do slightly cheaper ones. It’s always nice to receive gifts you might not prioritise buying for yourself?

EstebanTheMagnificent · 03/11/2019 19:11

In fifteen years of teaching I have never, ever seen anyone pour wine down the sink.

bridgetreilly · 03/11/2019 19:30

I would get an Amazon gift card, so if they want to use it to buy practical things they can, and if not, they can treat themselves.

nocutsnobuttsnococonuts · 03/11/2019 19:30

I work in early years so not as many gifts as school but I wouldn't be v impressed with supplies. however we are lucky to have enough money to buy stationary etc for the children.

for my dds teachers I got them to make a card, I wrote inside how grateful I was and what a great teacher they were. then stuck in a scratch card. went down v well :)

I am dairy/gluten free, don't drink, have to use certain toiletries and candles/flowers make me sneeze. however I always accept all gifts gratefully and pass on what I won't use. dds love the chocs, the wine is saved for tombola days, my mum loves candles/flowers and toiletries get sent to the food bank. I would never throw away a perfectly good gift that has been chosen for me.

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