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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think these are ok teacher gifts?

103 replies

lyralalala · 02/11/2019 09:24

Both DS2 and DD3's teachers have made a point of telling parents not to go OTT on gifts as they don't want parents to stretch themselves

Personally after working in schools I think that is code for "I have a zillion Best Teacher mugs and I don't eat homebaking"

After helping out in the school I was going to get DS2's teacher a box of glue sticks as they do a big project in Feb and I know she'll end up buying some out of her own pocket. Similarly DD's class has 5 pairs of scissors for 25 kids so I was going to buy a box of scissors. I'm just thinking they'll end up buying stuff like that themselves, but I'm now wondering if its a bit crap not to buy them something specifically for them.

I'm going to get the children to make a nice card to thank their teachers for specific help they've give this year.

Shit or ok idea?

OP posts:
YourOpinionIsNoted · 02/11/2019 12:39

Bananas why are you, as a TA, buying a gift for your year group? That seems to be totally unnecessary to me, please don't tell me that's expected? I would be very annoyed if my dd's school were expecting staff to buy the kids presents, especially TAs who aren't paid nearly enough money for the great work they do as it is.

formerbabe · 02/11/2019 12:40

so I see first hand just how much money teachers spend on resources such as glue sticks, to ensure the children don't go short

This makes me feel awful. As a parent, if I knew the class needed glue sticks or something, I'd happily pick some up in the pound shop and bring them in.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 02/11/2019 12:58

so I'm wondering about a class gift of something to be used for wet break. Any thoughts?

One school I worked at had a strict policy that Staff were not allowed to buy gifts for their pupils - not even a fun sized twin or a pencil! Instead each class got a class gift of books, games for wet break, craft materials, nice cushion for the reading corner... that sort of thing.

Where I am now teachers give little gifts like pencils or bookmarks. Nothing edible.

EleanorShellstrop100 · 02/11/2019 13:10

I’m a teacher and I think it’s a great idea and will be much more useful and appreciated than something fancy which, while nice, isn’t needed.

Scarydinosaurs · 02/11/2019 13:28

Aside- my pound shop glue sticks were worse than useless (and caused loads of off task behaviour as they never bloody worked).

I’d rather have one pritt stick to pass around.

Or! A super heavy duty whole punch so I could treasury tag worksheets in.

lau888 · 02/11/2019 13:28

Buy the glue sticks. Don't worry about which class has the most stationery. Other classes will gradually steal the glue sticks until they are evenly distributed throughout Room 3b. (Discworld joke.) I believe it is also the place where the missing pen lids and staple guns live.

Scarydinosaurs · 02/11/2019 13:48

lau888 hahahahahaha

brighteyeowl17 · 02/11/2019 15:21

If someone got me glue sticks and scissors I would love them eternally. It’s the bane of a teachers life buying such things. Excellent idea!

bananasandwicheseveryday · 02/11/2019 15:23

@YourOpinionIsNoted. @BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou

I wouldn't say expected, but definitely a tradition. I've been there a looong time and have never known a year when TAs didn't buy something, usually sweets, for their year groups. We are not allowed to give a child a personal gift, either everyone or no-one. Teachers tend to give something like a book - they buy the sets from the Book People, which works out at around a £1 a book. However, that is much more manageable for just one class in a teacher's salary - it would cost me getting on for £100! I'm currently looking at some of the silly party bag toys on Amazon, which seem more reasonable.

VashtaNerada · 02/11/2019 15:27

I think it really depends on the teacher and the school! Having taken a massive pay cut to become a teacher I really appreciate those little chocolate or alcohol gifts as I don’t buy many treats for myself any more. And I have plenty of glue sticks! Grin But it’s clear for others it would be a perfect present.

Pumpkinpie66 · 02/11/2019 15:31

It's a great idea, but it's for the class not the teacher so call it a 'class gift' and then do the lovely homemade card separately.
My top ever presents as a teacher (for parents looking for ideas!):

  1. Cards actually made or written by my pupils with proper messages in. Best ever.
  2. A personalised mug with a class joke from my older students (which was amazing because it was really from them, so not so helpful for parents)
  3. Handcream. Kids are germy. I wash my hands a lot. They get dry.
  4. Nice chocolates (small boxes are best!)
  5. A book we had been chatting about at a school function that I hadn't read.
  6. Stationery that is useful but actually for the teacher (nice post its, book marker post its, nice coloured pens for marking, whiteboard markers that actually work!)

I'm afraid I probably contribute to your childrens teeth rotting. I give my class chocolate...

LadyofMisrule · 02/11/2019 18:28

I bought my kids' teachers a bag of stuff at the beginning of the year. Glue sticks, blutack, post it notes, board pens. I'll be doing the same again at Xmas.

LadyofMisrule · 02/11/2019 18:30

...and wine

kamizawa · 03/11/2019 06:13

Brilliant idea about the Amazon gift card!

myself2020 · 03/11/2019 06:19

Don’t give wine of food. from experience, it goes directly in the bin (mine always does, i’m not the only one). give a giftcard if you are not sure - can be spend on themselves or class. plus a card

Matildatoldsuchdreadfullies · 03/11/2019 06:42

My TA and I have a conversation twice a year... we shouldn’t get presents. We work in a fairly deprived area, and know that £3 or £4 boxes of chocolates, multiplied by 2 or even 3 depending on the number of adults in the class can be quite a lot for some families - particularly if they have more than one child.

Yes, we appreciate the gifts. But parents should not feel obliged to buy anything for us. We’re just doing our jobs. Which we are paid for.

If you think your child’s teacher is good, write a letter to the head saying this. Write a nice note in a card for the teacher. If you really must, get a Poundland box of chocolates to share between the adults.

I should point out that my dc see the Christmas and Summer chocolates as a very big perk of my job. But I’m not sure that’s really a justification for them.

Snowtimes · 03/11/2019 06:46

I’d give a gift card - then they can choose

formerbabe · 03/11/2019 11:12

Don’t give wine of food. from experience, it goes directly in the bin (mine always does, i’m not the only one

What do you mean in the bin?! Why don't you regift it? I always buy food as I assume if it's not to their taste, someone in their family might like it or they can regift it.

Ohyesiam · 03/11/2019 11:13

Great idea

YourOpinionIsNoted · 03/11/2019 11:19

I was a teacher for twelve years. I drank ALL the wine! And ate all the food, whenever I was lucky enough to be given a present. I don't know anyone who didn't. I was in secondary though. Maybe dealing with 150+ teens every day creates a greater need for alcohol and chocolate! 😂

VashtaNerada · 03/11/2019 14:36

Love Matilda’s idea of writing to the Head if you think the teacher’s good. That would make me feel great!

myself2020 · 03/11/2019 14:53

@formerbabe i know nothing about wine, foodbanks don’t take wine. i don’t want to gift a potentially cheap wine on, and don’t want to carry the heavy bottles home. so content down the sink, bottle into recycling.
small chocolate boxes go to foodbank, but again, don’t want to carry big boxes back (no car), so bin it is. nobody else wants them either.
its an extra hassle, not a gift

MitziK · 03/11/2019 15:03

Wine is a crap idea. Mainly because I don't like the stuff and have seven bottles shoved in the back of the cupboard under the stairs from previous years. The other bottles were left behind for others to take, as I couldn't physically carry more than one home. Chocolate and biscuits weren't any better - don't like them and I'm allergic to dairy, so couldn't have them even if I did. Despite liking plants a lot, the Christmas present types are half dead when you get them because they've been mollycoddled and forced to perform in time for the Teacher Present Market. And glitter encrusted plants should be illegal.

I actually liked the scented candles, reed diffusers and a set of magnetic bookmarks I've been given in recent years. Bubblebaths and handcreams are great, too as even if they are ones I can't use, they make better regifting items than dead glittery plants, booze and more sugary shit

Bet if I ever get a post in a Primary, it'll be the year they outlaw presents, though. I've never had anything near the amount friends and family who work in primaries get.

EmeraldShamrock · 03/11/2019 15:12

so I see first hand just how much money teachers spend on resources such as glue sticks, to ensure the children don't go short
This really shocks me on Teacher threads from UK schools.
Why can't they introduce a DEIS system to supply the vulnerable schools, let the others buy the stationary.
Our school is semi DEIS we pay for all stationary but get a free cold sandwiches.
Why do all schools suffer shortages?
Can you afford a fiver Costa voucher. Smile x

EmeraldShamrock · 03/11/2019 15:16

I'll be watching for ideas. It is my first tear to buy a male Teacher a gift. Any ideas?

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